[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Are You Setting the Bar WAY TOO HIGH?// The Perfect Recipe for Disappointment//

You – yes, you, sitting behind that computer screen looking all kinds of beautiful and confident 😉 – tell me, what was your most popular post?

You know the one where you were getting crazy hits moments after hitting publish. People were commenting like nothing else mattered. I bet you felt like A GOD, didn’t you? You were able to help them in some way. Either by making them laugh, or maybe sharing some tips, or maybe just a feel-good post? BUT PEOPLE RELATED TO IT, DIDN’T THEY? Those moments are still seared in your memory – THAT FEELING OF BEING VALUED; THAT FEELING OF A POST TAKING OFF. *heart eyes*

You were on top of the world – the blogging world at least – and there was no limit to your happiness. It was all worth it that day, wasn’t it? The hard work, writing even when you didn’t feel like it, those long hours searching for EXACTLY THE RIGHT GIF, man THAT’S a real pain!

Still, the appreciation makes it ALL WORTH IT. It’s heartwarming to know that you aren’t screaming into a void; that people are actually listening to you. Nothing pumps up the spirits of a blogger kinda like those appreciative comments, those crazy shares, those increasing stats. (Own it now! DON’T BE SHY ;))

But nothing lasts and you too shall fall down. It’s the law of nature. AND GRAVITY. *shrugs*

You climbed up the mountain. It was hard. It was time taking. But it’s a fucking peak. Sooner or later, it’s gonna poke a hole through your goddamn shoes and you’re gonna have to climb down. If you don’t – a snowstorm might do the trick nicely. BUT COME DOWN YOU SHALL.

But, does it mean that you will start measuring every little success on that scale? Does it mean you will stop enjoying life’s simple pleasures just because they don’t provide the same kind of exhilaration that climbing a fucking mountain does?

I am sorry but that’s just too dumb for words. Yes, I said it.

When you write a post, you should do it ONLY BECAUSE YOU WANT TO WRITE. Not under the pressure of staying at the top. Because that attitude will definitely – DEFINITELY AND SEVERELY – affect your writing process, I am telling you.

Just yesterday I was going through all the posts I made during the last year. And I was surprised by how well a couple of them performed. It came as a shock, to be honest. Plus this realization brought with it a desire, a hunger to reach those heights again. I quickly opened my notepad and decided to write something EXACTLY LIKE THOSE POSTS – setting the bar way too high in the very beginning! I put so much pressure on my mind that the creativity muscle just kinda –

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I was forgetting one little thing, though – not every post I’ll write will be a masterpiece. Not every single post will do well. Not every single post will have people raving all about it all over the internet. AND THAT IS OKAY.

You see when you think about it – it’s just as it should be, really. If you’ll give serious thought to how this whole writing process works, it’ll become evident to you that it’s a perfect balance of odds the more you write, the more chances you create of writing something awesome. But expecting every single word to be like that? I am sorry but that is just not possible.

It’s a process. You practice with the practice. It’s not like you’ll sit in meditation for an hour once a week and the right idea will just flow through your mind and onto the paper. NOPE. How it ACTUALLY goes is you write and write and write and then one day, while writing, some words will JUST CLICK and VOILA! There is your next blockbuster post.

BUT until THAT happens, remember to enjoy every single word you write because it’s helping you and your craft – whether you can see it right now or not.


Now, I wanna hear your thoughts on the topic: do you agree? Do you have any insights that all the rest of us could benefit from?
Or maybe any such experience when you felt forced to give in to the pressure of ”famous topics” or ”viral posts”?

LET’S CHAT! ❤ ❤


[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Is Blogging REALLY Worth It?

It’s such a beautiful day out there. Clouds covering the vast sky like a lover trying to shield his beloved from all harm. I long to go out – feel that wind on my bare face, allow it to fill my whole body like something pure. I want to feel carefree, careless. undefined

 But alas! I have to write. Write, because without it my blog will be empty. Edit, because without it my posts will be ugly. Make graphics, because without it my writing will seem boring. Whoever said Blogging is effortless was lying. Lying through his fucking teeth. Nothing that’s new to you is ever going to be effortless. And the back-bone of blogging – the written word – certainly doesn’t come easily. Neither does the part that follows it. There is a lot of effort that goes into blogging which makes even the best of us wonder, at some point or another – “Is it even worth it?” What would all that hard work achieve?” “Why does it involve so much effort? I thought following your passion was supposed to be a cake in the walk, cake while walking, or a cake walk, Either way. ;).”

Well, let’s answer your questions.

It’s worth it if you value your writing.

Writing is an ever-evolving skill. The way you write today is different from yesterday. And so it’ll go on forever.

You don’t learn and THEN write. You learn AS you write.

It’s something that keeps on getting better and better, provided that you nourish it with enough practice. Practice comes from habit. And habit is formed with consistency. Would you be so naive as to hope to read every single book on writing before you ever write a single word and then hope to spout a masterpiece the moment you pick up the mightiest sword – THE PEN? I hope to god you wouldn’t because that would be foolishness at its fucking peak!  

It’s worth it if you value friendship

When I started blogging, I used to think of it as just sharing my thoughts and be done with it. I didn’t have THE SLIGHTEST INKLING that I would make SUCH AWESOME FRIENDS HERE!

All the beautiful bloggers that I met, interacted, and made friends with HAVE BEEN THE BEST PART OF BLOGGING, not gonna lie! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! YOU ROCK!

I LOVE YOU!!! You have made my blogging experience richer and more fun and I WOULD NOT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY!! ❤

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It’s worth it if you want to build your readership.

And by that I don’t mean blindly increasing the number of followers.

I mean establishing good and healthy relationship with those who read your blog, you comment on it, who value value your posts.

THEY are the ones who will give you GENUINE feedback on your writing, who will support you and your blog will be better for it. You will learn how to converse with your readers, what they like to read, what they jump at and it will definitely help you in bettering your own writing as well. Blogging isn’t only about punching the keys, IT’S MAINLY ABOUT INTERACTION and that really helps you in building a network of good and honest readers.

WHO THE FUCK WOULDN’T WANT THAT??

It’s worth it if you can manage your ever growing TBR

OKAY THAT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT BLOGGING! I don’t think I’d have read and discovered as many masterpieces as I have now without this little blog.

I mean whenever I visit any of my fellow bloggers posts and reviews, I always come out with a TBR that is sky high.

And it always amazes me how you guys manage to read so much. I mean WOW. You give me the inspiration to experiment with genres, something I’d not have done otherwise. I don’t think I’d have the courage to climb out of my comfort zone without reading and believing in YOUR experiences!

SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT! ❤

In the end, all I’d like to say is this:

Blogging has changed my life – the way I read, the way I write – EVERYTHING. And I am happier for it. And I am sure you guys have had the same experience. Sure it is hard work at first but it’s ALL worth it.

Blogging is THE BEST and anyone who says otherwise deserves a firm smack on the head, you know to put the wiring right. 😉

[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Comment for Comment – A FAULTY SYSTEM

When you follow a blog, what expectations do you have?

🌸 You’ll get a regular supply of awesome content and make friends with the amazing blogger behind it

OR

🌸 Yay! More people to comment on my posts! 

If the former, more power to you! But if you think the latter, then you aren’t the only ones making this awful, awful mistake.

The story starts two years back – when I was still very new to book blogging and everything was like a shiny toy. I was very helpful, friendly, and true of heart. (Not that I am not these things now..🤣)

My sole purpose used to be sharing my writing and making friends in the community. I used to enjoy talking with them about my interests, loved reading about their own – it was the golden era of my blog. 

Of course the problem started when I started trying to copy the famous blogger’s writing style in the hopes of gaining more followers because THEIR content matter seemed to get more famous than mine. But that’s a different story.

Little by little, I started to replace those pure feelings of joy in reading others’ content with an intense desire to get more and more comments. And towards that goal, I’d try to find and follow AS MANY BLOGS AS I COULD. I didn’t wait to think whether I REALLY liked their content, whether it was my kind of tea or notI just wanted to make them feel appreciated so that THEY WOULD MAKE ME FEEL APPRECIATED AS WELL. (I wish I had only focused on the ”making THEM feel appreciated” part! 😦

Such an awful, awful trend isn’t it?

And although I have come out of it now – because within the first few months of doing so, it started becoming WAYY TOO EXHAUSTING and so I shifted my attention back to following and reading content I actually love – it’s still very prevalent among other bloggers.

And I kinda hate that, not gonna lie.

Really?
Are you just going to comment on mine if I comment on yours?
Does that arrangement seem uplifting to you?
How is it helping though?

Really, HOW will you EVER know if your writing is ACTUALLY worth reading? By the number of comments? Oh, but they comment on yours because you comment on theirs. *shrugs* NOW what you have to say for yourself, huh?

The fault in this system is that:

🌸  It encourages too much selfishness which is neither good for you, nor for the others.

🌸  It comes in the way of making friends and the overall fun of reading a blog, because all the time, you are just think about YOURS, not REALLY appreciating THEIRS, do you see?

Hey, don’t get me wrong – blog hopping and supporting new bloggers is really important but the intention behind it shouldn’t be selfish. And I am not talking about you turning into an absolute saint here! 🤣 No, no, don’t do THAT. You have a responsibility to grow your blog as well. And doing some things SOLELY for that reason is COMPLETELY FINE. I do it too.

But when you start commenting on other blogs only because you expect them to comment on yours, it’s a disservice to their content, to be honest. 

Support and show them love without any expectatons. Try doing it – just for a month – review the blogs you’ve followed and actually give thought to their writing. Do you REALLY love it? Or was your follow just a bait – for them to visit your blog and follow you as well? 

Give this a serious thought and try an unconditional approach for a while.

It will be beneficial for both you and them in countless waysthe most important being the friendship that’ll form out of your love for their content. And out of that will come everything that you want as well – yes, yes, the comments and the follows (ugh, look at YOU! No change! 🤣) 

Give love because you feel like giving it, not because you expect they’ll love you back as well and see your world shift – towards a happier and more meaningful blogging experience. 

Because this“I’ll comment on yours only if you’ll comment on mine.”  – is a very mean practice. And one day, you’re going to get tired of it. I know. I did too. And THAT day you’ll realize who your ACTUAL FOLLOWERS ARE.

You’ll stop chasing those bribed comments soon enough. You’ll realize the importance of actual readership, of REAL followers who won’t leave you NO MATTER WHAT. 😉

[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Things I still NEED to learn

Apart from possessing the ability to churn out fresh content by the week, responding to comments on a timely basis, blog-hopping consistently, and of course, spreading love in the community, there are a few other things that a blogger needs to understand and I seem to lack in those.

I used to think that I was a kick-ass blogger. I don’t now.

Why?

Well, let’s find out:

🌸The Power of Habit

I made a post last year – titled – “What makes a Good Blogger” 

I followed every single point I made in it. But THEN, because of JUST A LITTLE BIT OF DIFFICULTY – I let it all go down the drain – MONTHS OF HARD WORK – all went away! Just like that.

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Ugh. Me and my hypocrite self.

The point is, when I had that accident and decided to take a little break from blogging, I didn’t know what effect it would have on my habit of writing every day, one that I had had a LOT of difficulties cultivating in the first place.

We fickle human beings fail to recognize a little fact – our mind is ALWAYS trying to find ways to go back to being a lazy-ass dump of nerves. You can’t argue with that! 🤣

And when you decide to take those – unplanned breaks – you give it THE PERFECT AMMUNITION TO LIGHT THE FIRE IN YOU LIFEburning the good habits (that you took a LOT of time to form) to the ground. 

Well, do you disagree?! DO YA?!

But hey, that’s not to say that we can never take breaks. It’s just that there is an art to it, one that needs learning.

🌸The Art of Taking Breaks

WITHOUT ruining your habits, I should add.

As I said, the mind is a lazy-ass fuck who keeps yearning to go back to his old ways of procrastination and laziness.

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And we need to find a way to tread that sensitive ground with care. Think Katniss trying to hop her way around those mines to blow up all the ammunition. 🤷🏻‍♀️

So, it all comes down to this: Finding time to make sure you are engaging in writing at least a few minutes EVERY DAY – it can be just a little paragraph – but you do it daily

When you’ll do it every day, going back to blogging won’t seem THAT MUCH OF A MONSTER TASK – because you’ll have tidbits of content at your fingertips – ready to be converted into full-blown posts should you feel the need.

And that’s EXACTLY what I need to learn as well. Boop.

🌸Visit Your Blog Regularly

Yes. Okay, I know, I know. This one seems irrelevant. But, hear me out, alright? 

Whatever’s in front of your eyes on a regular basis becomes the dominant thought of your mind, doesn’t it?

Well, that’s the principle that will be activated when you form the habit of regularly visiting your blog yes, even on hiatuses. 

Just visit it. Don’t interact with anyone if you don’t want to. Don’t reply to comments yet, if you don’t feel like it. Don’t comment on others’ posts if you’d rather wait until you are officially back.

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BUT, visit your blog regularly nonetheless. Because by doing that:

•  You’ll keep reminding yourself what absolute fun blogging actually is and how much you love it.

•  You’ll also be reminded of how much effort you’ve put into it so far and what a waste it would be if you were to abandon it all of a sudden.

And both of those realizations will keep you from falling into laziness and inactivity. 

They surely would have helped me had I visited my blog regularly. And I am sure it’ll help you as well. 

 

🌸Never Forget

Okay, this is an extension of the last point but I think it’s too important not to repeat:

You must NEVER – under ANY circumstance – forget all the hard work that goes into maintaining the blog. 

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You put other things on hold to make your blog the prettiest, the coolest, the wittiest, the BESTEST! 

And all that work goes to waste if you stop giving attention to it all of a sudden. I mean, it’s like a house. A house becomes a home when you clean it every day, decorate it in your likeness, make sure that it reflects YOUR personality, your likes, and dislikes, YOUR habits.

BUT that same cozy and comfortable home turns into a cold and unwelcoming structure of bricks when you stop living in it, stop giving attention to it – doesn’t it?

Well, the same thing happens with our blog as well. It needs a similar kind of nurture and care – and that too REGULARLY.

🌸Keep in mind the people that you leave behind.

It isn’t only about writing and getting comments, is it? Blogging is also about the wonderful and welcoming communitythose friends that you make, that confidence that you build with them, their faith in you, and your faith in yourself.

Remember how much time it took you to form that?

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Well, don’t leave THEM behind just because you couldn’t keep your wandering mind under a leash. THEY are the ones who make your blogging experience so fucking wholesome and fulfilling. 

And you’d do well to remember that before you decide to leave your blog – a child of your mind – unattended the next time.

Yes, I AM TALKING TO YOU RAIN! ️ I swear to god you can be so fucking difficult sometimes. UGH! 

Well, I hope that these few points will help you as I am sure they’d have helped ME as well before I decided to fall into that same cycle of procrastination.

Until next time,

RAIN 

[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] The Mayfly Effect //Surviving the After-Effects of a Viral Post//

You are sitting behind your computer screen, practically jamming the keysnot stopping for food or drink. NO. ALL THAT’S JUST SUPERFICIAL STUFF. You have FINALLY found your muse and YOU GUYS ARE CLICKING TOGETHER.

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You are in LOVE – with everything. Ideas seem to flow off your mind and onto the paper like water. You will NOT be stopped. YOU ARE THE KIND OF THE WORLD. YOU CAN CONQUER ANYTHING. This is the moment you have been waiting for. Your heart is bubbling with excitement. With each word you type, your confidence grows tenfold. It keeps on growing and growing and growing until it EXPLODES. 

You hit publish.

For the first time in your writing life, you feel confidentACTUALLY FUCKING CONFIDENT about your skills. You just know, deep in your heart, that people are going to adore your post. And so you sit back, relax, and watch notifications pop up on the screen every five minutes people are liking it, commenting on it, sharing it. YOUR BABY IS FAMOUS. OH SO FAMOUS. 

You hadn’t tasted success before this moment but now that you have, it feels like the most natural thing in the world, doesn’t it? The fame, the glory – ALL OF IT. It feels like you were born to this, like you are a natural. And let’s face it, you ARE! You are PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME! And the obvious popularity of your written word is proof of it. 

So, for the next 24 hours, you receive hundreds of compliments saying how absolutely talented you are and how they love the way you write. YOU ARE AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD AND YOU LIKE IT HERE. You don’t wanna leave. E V E R.

You go to bed feeling all giddy, entertaining hopes of an even more exciting tomorrow. Your dreams – full of contentment. You are finally where you’d always dreamt of being. YOU ARE HAPPY. And so you should be.

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But the following day brings with it a promise of disappointment. No notifications now. If your phone chimes, it’s because your mumma wants to know whether you are still coming home for Sunday dinner, not because people are raving about your gorgeous writing skills. 

Your long-face and saddened eyes display every step of the breaking of your heart. You don’t understand how this could happen. Everything was going great yesterday, wasn’t it? People were in love with what you wrote and that gave you hope that MAYBE now they’ll discover your other writings too, that they’ll come to know how prolific you actually are and then THEY’LL NEVER WANNA LEAVE YOUBut they did, didn’t they? They liked what you wrote in a moment of utmost creativity and they moved on.

Ain’t nobody’s got time for your previous writing and stuff!! PFTTT!!

But you take it wayyy too seriously and now all your focus is on feeling that way again – THE STARDOM, THE IMPORTANCE!! You will go to harrow hell to bring that feeling home again. It’s become your drug now. YOUR OBSESSION. And you think that forcing yourself to write something EXACTLY the same way that got you in the spotlight is the way to do that.

But creativity doesn’t work that way. You used to know that when your mind was a humble being but it’s gotten too big for its own good in the last 24 hours and now it won’t listen to ANYTHING but it’s own ego.

Well, THAT’S NOT GONNA END UP WELL NOW, IS IT?
And it doesn’t!

Now, you are stuck in a rutnot being able to create ANYTHING because now you have this idea of how your posts are supposed to be INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO WHAT YOUR HEART IS TELLING YOU. 

That’s where it all goes downhill from, guys!

Going viral is all well and good and SO MUCH FUN but it creates totally unrealistic expectations in your mind – such that it’s not yet able to fulfill, and ESPECIALLY NOT IN THE STATE OF SO MUCH PRESSURE! And that’s the cue for creativity to go AWOL on you.

You must understand that although it was fun while it lasted, you need to focus on being yourself ALL THE TIME if you are to have a shot at being a most loved writer in the blogosphere. Know that your readers don’t want their minds blown away every single time you post something, they just want constancya steady stream of content to chew on. As long as you are doing that, IT IS ALL GOING TO BE JUST FINE, ALRIGHT?

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BE YOURSELF GUYS, EVEN IN THE FACE OF ALL THE STARDOMthat’s what’s going to set you apart and bring you the audience of your dreams.

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This has been my personal experience, you know! When my first ever post got MORE VIEWS AND COMMENTS THAN I’D EVER IMAGINED POSSIBLE, I went CRAAZZZYYY!!!

And I shouldn’t have. It’s all about the moment and as long as you enjoy what you are creating and doing all that you do with passion, people are going to adore it, no matter what!

DO YOU AGREEE!??? ❤
Have you experienced this before?

[A READER’S LIFE] How To Read a Book PROPERLY//My Reading Process//

I know. I know.

WHAT’S SO HARD ABOUT READING ANYWAY?

Open the goddamn book, read the fucking words, pretend to be shocked/moved etc.

RIGHT??!!

Reading is an art. Each step needs to be savored, taken pleasure in. It needs to speak to your soul. Reading a book should incite a change in the deepest level of your being. AND THAT CAN ONLY HAPPEN IF YOU DO IT RIGHT.

Luckily for you, I am here to enlighten you lost souls on how to properly read a book and this I will do by giving you a sneak peek into my own reading process.

Now, it may get a bit intense here but HEY! YOU KNEW WHAT YOU TOOK ON WHEN YOU CLICKED ON THIS POST, YEAH?!

SO NO COMPLAINING and let’s get to it.

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THE WALK

*sigh*

Having finished reading the very last page, I close the book. My mind is still in a haze, unable to process the surroundings I now find myself in.

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Seconds turn into minutes threatening to turn into hours when I snap myself out of a long lost dream, shake my hand off of the last shreds of the world I just left behind in the pages of the beautiful book lying on the bed. It’s a hard decision but a necessary one nonetheless.

I walk over to my bookshelf, admire the general splendor of all the hardbacks and paperbacks, bathe in the quiet reassurance of their utmost beauty and I just keep watching and watching….and watching…

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THE CHOICE

Awe turns into irritation real quick.

Standing in front of my magnificent shelf I become aware of all the brooding eyes staring right into my soul, trying to manipulate me.

EVERY SINGLE OF MY PRIZED POSSESSIONS BEG FOR AN HONEST CONSIDERATION. Making those sweet doleful eyes, crushing my heart.

 

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PICK MEEEE!!!

No wonder it takes me HOURS (sometimes even DAYS) to decide what to read next! But I turn my heart to stone and ignoring all their fictional pleas reach my hand out to rest on a random spine.

YES! THIS IS GOING TO BE MY COMPANION FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS.

With a heavy heart, I make my way backback to re-enter a world entirely different from my own.

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THE TRANSITION

Reality as I know it starts to fade away. The world around me crumbles – brick by brick- until it gives way to another dimension.

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Here, I am a captive of the writer’s words. They clutch the insides of my mind and pull me in. No longer am I aware of my previous life. I am living now in the minds of these wonderful, wonderful characterscrazy, flawed, AND MORE HUMAN THAN HUMAN BEINGS THEMSELVES.

Yes. I LIKE IT HERE. Can I stay here forever? CAN I?

I am lost in a world of words and emotions and I DON’T WANT ANYONE TO COME LOOKING.

I FEEL SAFE.
I FEEL LIKE MYSELF.
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THE REVELATION

I have lived a full life here, have loved these new friends that I made just a few hours agoloved them like we’ve been together for eternity. Their laughs, their cries, their hopes and dreams, their fears, their shadowsall etched into my mind as if someone had carved them there with utmost care and precision.

But now these lovely people are about to reach the conclusions to their respective storiesall the hardships they had been subjected to are almost at an end. Their wait is over and the things they want are almost in their grasps.

And while that’s good news for them, it’s distressing to me.

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I will soon have to leave them – leave this beautiful world and all these wonderful people. I have come to love their lives more than my own but now I won’t be privy to the details anymore.

HOW WILL I KNOW IF THEY WERE ALRIGHT TILL THE END? THAT NO DANGER BEFELL THEM AFTER WE PARTED OUR WAYS? HOWWW?!!?!

They will move away into the quiet recesses of their own little worlds, to live their own lives and I will become a mere stranger to themA ONE-SIDED LOVER who will continue to obsess over them for days, months EVEN YEARS TO COME!

I AM UNHAPPY. OH, SO UNHAPPY.

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THE HOPELESSNESS

Here I sit, with a closed book in my hands and tears welling up in my eyes.

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It’s agonizing to watch a worlda world that has made me feel more alive than I have felt in a LONG LONG TIMEfade away into nothingness.

It’s a tearful realization but I keep heart. I have faith because I know that these memories that I have stolen from the neverwhere world will now stay with me forever. Because I know that with a flick of the page I will be transported back to that magical world where everything will STILL BE THE SAME.

AHH!! SUCH A LOVELY PROSPECT.

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THE WALK

*sigh*

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Yes. I am back again, scratching my head, trying to avoid those puppy dog eyes!

GOD HELP ME!
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AND THIS, DEAR READERS, IS HOW YOU PROPERLY READ A BOOK!

*PHEW*

I also hope that all you people who think that reading is nothing but looking at words have changed your perception of it now BECAUSE IT IS HARD WORK!!!

*dies of exhaustion and a broken heart*

Soo..do you have the same reading process as I? What steps would you like to add/take away?!?! LET ME KNOW! I WANNA KNOWWW!!!

[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Are Your Posts Good Enough?// COMMITMENT AND LACK THEREOF//

If you are asking this then chances are they are NOT. 

The constant little voice in your mind that keeps nudging you that you need to do better is usually correct in its assessment. You see, the thing is that once you start asking yourself ”AM I DOING GOOD ENOUGH?’‘, one of the two things can happen:

🌸You fall into a well of depression because although you agree with what your inner self is trying to tell you, you are directionless about what to do to fix it.

🌸You take the challenge head-on, work night and day, day and night to make sure that this voice never annoys you again.

If you fall into the first category, you need to ask for help. IMMEDIATELY. Don’t be ashamed. Everyone, at one point or the other, has gone through the problem you are facing right now. But the ones that got out of it are those who ASKED. Who didn’t care what people might think. THOSE are the ones that won.

They didn’t let the failure stick.
They did something about it.
THEY GOT BACK UP AGAIN!

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The second one, however, is a CONSTANT battle. Because once you make sure that what you are doing RIGHT NOW is perfect according to your standards, you will be faced with new challenges. And you have to be ready when they arrive.

Blogging is no different from any other thing in life.

You have GOT to be committed to it, even when it sucks.

You have GOT to MAKE time for it. We all have the same number of hours guys. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US. The most proficient bloggers out there, killing it at everything every area of their lives, don’t have A SINGLE FUCKIN SECOND MORE than what’s been given to us.

It’s all about PRIORITY. 

THEY MAKE IT THEIR PRIORITY TO DO EVERYTHING TO THE BEST OF THEIR ABILITIES. OR THEY DON’T DO IT ALL. 

I could tell you that having fun is what matters. And it does. Absolutely. BUT those of you out there who want to take your blogs out of the ”hobby” phase and ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING WITH IT have to let go of that mindset. That ”I won’t do it today because I don’t feel like it” attitude.

IT WILL DRAIN YOUR POTENTIAL. It will ingrain your mind with a defeatist approach and little by little this thinking will seep into every area of your life. IT WILL BECOME A HABIT.

I know because I have struggled with it for as long as I can remember and only very recently have been able to win against all that negativity and sluggishness. 

Persistence is something that all of us at some point in our lives struggle with. Some of us even have a record of not sticking with ANYTHING we try. 

NOT A SINGLE THING.

We give up too easily sometimes, guys. TOO FUCKING EASILY. But we need to CONSTANTLY remind ourselves that even hobbies have to be taken out of that FUN phase and exposed to hard-work – EVEN WHEN IT SUCKS – if we want to get something out of them.

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Hey, I am not saying there’s anything wrong with just having fun. But what I have a problem is that people confuse having fun with a lack of persistence, of commitment.

Does being committing to something mean it’s not fun anymore? DOES IT?

NO. FUCKING NO.

It just means that we have just entered the phase WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE A ROUGH RIDE to ensure that whatever comes after that, whatever uncomfortable circumstances we may face in the future, WE ARE READY FOR IT.

IT IS SUPPOSED TO GET VERY FUCKING DIFFICULT BEFORE YOU REACH THAT AUTO-PILOT PHASE WHERE CREATIVITY BECOMES YOUR BEST FRIEND. Where it becomes FUN again. 

So keep pushing. Don’t give up just yet, you beautiful people. Stop being okay with just doing GOOD ENOUGH! Because —

‘The thing about good-enough is that you don’t know if it’s enough.” – Greg Pitt

AND WOULD YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT CHANCE? Because sure as hell wouldn’t! NOT AGAIN. I have had my fill of inconsistency and I AM DONE. YOU SHOULD BE TOO.

Take your blogs out of the hobby phase. COMMIT TO BETTER YOUR WRITING EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

Not for fame.
Not for the stats.
JUST FOR YOURSELF.

[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] A RAT RACE // Surviving in a World Where EVERYONE Wants to be THE BEST//

I don’t remember the last time I felt pure joy while reading a beautifully written blog post. I sure felt enchanted BUT my heart was impaired, just a little bit. With a hint of envy.

How are they writing such gorgeous things?

Why can’t I too?

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Such were the background thoughts that kept me troubled. And the sad thing is that I lost the chance of learning a thing or two from those amazing writers because I was too invested in my jealousy, that awful feeling clutching my mind in its trap – making me feel like I was doing something wrong.

The blogging world is as harsh as it is friendly. Sure you will find some awesome people here, writing beautiful things but you will also feel your heart getting corrupt as you will grudge them their talent. And then, you will try twice as hard to reach their level.

Now imagine that there are hundreds of bloggers going through this exact same process, thinking the exact same thoughts, taking the exact same steps. 

EVERYONE is in the race to become perfect. Doing their best. And then some. To reach the top.

When this realization strikes your mind, you become ruthless in your efforts, not even stopping to take notice of what you are missing out of in the process. 

My view, however, is a bit different now.

I like to imagine the world to be much more generous. I believe that THAT PEDESTAL AT THE TOP is wide enough for all of us to stand together and enjoy that unparalleled feeling of accomplishment.

And as far as I have seen, that’s the only way to surviveIf you start getting too competitive and forget to be kind, then you trample the dreams of others and trust me, building your own castles on the graveyard of someone else’s hopes and wishes is no way to live grandly. You will not be happy because there will always be a sneaking fear that someone might come from behind and knock you off. 

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But if instead of being nasty, you lend a helping hand to your fellow bloggers and friends, provide them with resources and advise them on the things that might help THEIR blog grow as well, then it won’t just be beneficial for them but for you as well.

No man is an island.

Together is the only way forward. We grow by helping others. And the road to success is wide enough to accommodate everyone. Then why not make some friends, help them grow and enjoy the trip?

Why make becoming successful a  tedious task when it can be so much fun instead?

Don’t you adore that feeling when someone you generously helped succeeds in their endeavor? The fact that you contributed to their success makes you feel lovely, doesn’t it? So why not support all those wonderful blogs – help them instead of being envious?  It doesn’t cost you anything. And it CERTAINLY WON’T AFFECT YOUR OWN SUCCESS! It will, however, add a hundred times to your personal satisfaction. DONT YOU WANT THAT? Don’t you want to feel lovely? Generous? Kind? Good? Beautiful? 

We are drowning in our dream of BEING THE BEST. The water is soo far up our heads that it has made our thinking all fuzzy. We have forgotten the very simple fact –

“THE BEST” isn’t a title that can only be awarded to one person. Hell, EVERYONE CAN BE THE BEST! And it’s when all of us are helping each other realize each other’s dreams that we become THE BEST VERSION OF OURSELVES.

Every single of us is trying our hardest to succeed, feeling exhilarated that we finally made it, but if we reach there with a rope made of twisted and broken dreams, our excitement will be short-lived because believe it or not, even at the top of the world, you need someone to share the view with you otherwise it’s just a hollow accomplishment.

You’ll soon become lonely and ultimately lose the passion that kept the flame burning because the reason behind that passion was a corrupt one – ENVY AND A DESIRE TO OVERTAKE SOMEONE ELSE’S SUCCESS. Such a hunger eventually subsides, leaving you aimless and devoid of hope.

Why condemn yourself to go through that?

[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] What does it take to be a better blogger? //E V E R Y T H I N G//

There are thousands of blogs out there. Thousands of people doing EXACTLY what you are doing. Punching words, copy-pasting pics, hitting publish. JUST THAT. But for some reason, their blogs are doing better than yours. WAYYYY BETTER.

How?

I have been thinking about it a lot lately. Observing other blogs. The behaviors of the minds behind them. All the best ones that I have come across till now have some things in common. WHAT ARE THEY?

It’s not like they have cosmic powers or anything like that! OR DOOOO THEYYY??? *gasps*

LET’S FIND OUT!

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THEY ARE CONSISTENT

I started this blog in 2017. In September, to be precise. I was having so much fun meeting new people, making friends, sharing my opinions. But due to some reason I had to take a year off (as some of you already know).

Looking back at that time, if I am being honest, I didn’t really need to take a complete break. I realize now that even during that year, I had more than enough time to keep posting once or twice a week. But I sought the easy way out and shut my blog off completely.

I ask myself today, WAS THAT A GOOD MOVE? Needless to say, it wasn’t.

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Had I stayed consistent even when it got a bit difficult, had I stayed the course and tried a bit harder, I would be in a better place than I am now.

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IT’S NOT JUST A HOBBY WITH THEM

Now, I know some of you who have read my last post might think I am being a bit contrary here but I am not. Just hear me out.

Of course, the first and foremost rule of blogging is to do it for fun, to take pleasure in it.

But, in my experience, there comes a phase every once in a while when even the things you REALLY love lose their charm.

And when that happens, there are two courses of action before you:

•  You can either just go to the extreme and decide that maybe it wasn’t for you.

•  Or you can keep doing it for a little while more, hoping that it’ll pass (although you might have to work twice as hard for it.)

The first one is a very defeatist approach. You must never throw in the towel at the first hints of a struggle. Really, if anyone of you is a runner here then you know how fucking hard those first couple of miles are! But once your body adjusts to this new activity, it feels like you are flying, your lungs are on fire and you feel like you could just keep running till the end of your days!

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Yes, that’s it. That rule applies to everything in life, including blogging.

Push through the proverbial pain. It WILL get better. And before you know it, you will be doing your best! And that’s all that REALLY counts, isn’t it?

So please, don’t fall down just yet. Hold it, for a little bit longer.

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THEY COMMENT BACK

Do you have any idea how absolutely rude it is for you to just leave all the comments unliked and unreplied? (is that a word?)

Reading a post and then leaving a thoughtful comment TAKES TIME. And if your lovely readers can take precious time out of their schedules to comment on your posts, the LEAST you can do is fucking reply! I am sorry but I feel really strongly about this one.

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DON’T TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!!! xDxDxD

And hey, I totally understand that commenting back feels like a full-time job sometimes.

So what?

Blogging is not ALL FUN AND GAMES. It takes ACTUAL WORK (as you already know) And who’s asking you to comment back immediately anyway? Set a day aside and engage with all the comments on your posts on then. Readers are not easily offended. If you apologize for taking a bit of time to reply, they will understand. But they WILL get pissed off when weeks go by, you have put more posts out there and still, their thoughts go unacknowledged.

The best bloggers out there always take this rule to heart. They may be late in replying sometimes but they NEVER forget it.

That said, while I was on my unannounced hiatus, some totally awesome people commented on my posts but since I was away, I didn’t know about it and I just discovered that I had unapproved ones and I FEELL SOO FUCKING GUILTY NOW! So yeah AGAIN learn from all the messed up examples (a k a ME) before you and DONT COMMIT SUCH BLOGGING SINS.

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THEY RECOGNIZE THE VALUE OF FRIENDS

Believe it or not, it’s always friends who will give you the acknowledgment you deserve and desire.

Every blog has those readers who like/comment on a couple of posts and then don’t come back for an eternity! 🤣🤣 And hey, that’s fine! They have their charm too.

But it’s only those who you have really connected to and made friends with who will always encourage you on every single one of your posts.

They will like them, comment on them, give you shout outs. ALL of these things are very important in the blogging community. And if you are thinking that you can survive without them, then you are so fucking wrong. Because without people reading what you write, you may as well stop blogging and go write in a fucking notebook.

But if you want genuine appreciation and support, then you better climb off that high horse and start being nice to people.

LIFE’S BETTER WITH FRIENDS and SO IS BLOGGING!

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THEY GIVE BACK

When you visit a blog, like the posts, comment on them, the blogger isn’t automatically required to reciprocate it. There is no rule that says that.

BUT the best ones out there know the value of a community enough to not just be a taker. They give back TEN TIMES the love you offer them. Whenever and however their time allows.

They know that every single one of us is struggling out here and trying our hardest and they make sure that we know how much they appreciate our support. That’s a trait everyone of us should learn if we want to be loved in this community.

Listen, the ONLY way you move upwards in ANY area of life is by helping others, taking them with you.  And don’t you fear that if they get better, you might lose your place.

THERE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR EVERY ONE OF US IN THIS BEAUTIFUL WORLD.

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Do you agree? Or not? Do you have any other tips to add to the list? Let us all know in the comments! ❤️

[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Beyond Comments, Likes & Followers// HOW TO SHAKE THE POPULARITY COMPLEX//

Blogging comes with its own set of anxieties. You start a blog, you write that first post – which you think is immaculately written, by the way – you hit publish, and then NADA. You may as well be screaming into the void!

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No one comments back.
No one likes your post.
No one even visits your blog.

And then you start to feel let down by your own genius – “Maybe my thoughts aren’t worth that much.”

Now, it’s only natural to want people to read your content. We crave comments not because they make us seem popular but because they validate our ideas, our thoughts and that’s something even the most talented and seemingly indifferent writers want.

But what makes them different from YOU is that although they WANT that, they don’t necessarily construct their content around that desire!!

Face it, we see a popular blog writing amazing posts and people commenting back and forth and WE WANT THAT. We all want that. AND THAT’S GOOOOOOD!!

I believe you actually should take steps to promote your blog, to make friends in the blogging community to ensure that your content is being read BUT what we fail to realize is that when this necessity becomes an obsession, that’s when the quality of our writing starts degrading. Because then we just write whatever will get us comments, whatever gets us reblogs and mentions and all sorts. Now, all that is fun and should be participated in WITHOUT IT REACHING THE POINT WHERE IT BECOMES YOUR SOLE PURPOSE BEHIND WRITING.

And I am totally speaking from personal experience.

Before starting this little beauty I wrote on a different platform, still a blog of sorts. It was my first experience of watching other people engaged in meaningful and deep conversations and I wanted that badly.
So I would do research on the most famous blogs and would write in accordance with what they were preaching, what their ideas were. I didn’t realize that they were saying what was on THEIR MINDS! It was their personal opinion. It was something that THEY felt really STRONGLY about. AND THAT’S WHAT GAVE THEIR POSTS SUCH MEANING AND POWER!

I, on the other hand, was just faking an interest in similar topics and needless to say, THE QUALITY OF MY POSTS WAS ABSOLUTE TRASH. Well, okay not TRASH, but it wasn’t something that even I myself would want to read. Because I didn’t feel THAT strongly about it. AND THE READERS MUST HAVE BEEN LIKE – 

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I still kept on doing it (I don’t know what THE FUCK I was even hoping for) until there came a time when I ultimately tired my mind of forcing it to write on topics that just weren’t my forte. I wasn’t well opinionated about them and naturally, that led to a decline of that blog.

I started this one, however, with a pledge that I will only write what I REALLY WANT to write about and I will not let myself be WRONGLY influenced by the popularity in the blogosphere. Don’t misunderstand me, some posts are so immaculately written that they force me to think, form opinions of my own on that topic, and ultimately generate ideas related to it. Now THAT’S healthy. But writing something just for the sake of popularity is a race that would never win you accolades and certainly not loyal and happy followers.

That’s my promise to you!

The blogging community is rich with beautiful and well-structured ideas and you will always find something to inspire you, to actually make you THINK. And that’s what good content should inevitably do. It should either entertain you, make you feel happy, or it should make you think hard and true about something, or sometimes both.

But you should NEVER sway from your preferred path and change the whole identity of your thought system just for the sake of experiencing the thrill of being someone who writes about topics that, even though are totally out of your area of expertise or opinions, gets you comments or followers.

That being said, I would still like to encourage each and every one of you to go out there and introduce yourself to all these other absolutely lovely human beings and their beautiful blogs because every writer, even someone who has a HUGE bank of knowledge and genius that would fade Mark Twain in comparison, needs readers who can make sense of what he writes. Because in the end, a post, although a piece of mind of the writer, is worth what readers make of it, and what they get out of it. Could be more than that but it’s CERTAINLY NOTHING LESS!

So, GO WRITE POSTS THAT YOU WANT TO WRITE, ON THINGS THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT! Be inspired by other people. Think hard and true and THEN go and promote what you write and it’s my promise to you that there will be many, many readers who will resonate with what you wrote.

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LOOK AT THIS HANDSOME BASTARD!!! ❤ ❤  *heart eyes*

Attract YOUR kind of audience by writing YOUR kind of posts. THAT’S the way to win those loyal followers and commenters. 😉