[A WRITER’S LIFE] 5 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started Writing

Writing is the purest form of expression.
You bleed your heart out on the paper, hoping it would turn into something remotely worth reading. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn’t. 

But that’s not the point.

Writing words is easy. But writing something that makes someone want to spend their time on? Well, THAT’S the tricky part.

And its this fact that trumped me up in the beginning of my journey. A few words in and I would start overthinking it. And eventually, I would give up – for days, weeks, months on end. I failed to realize that this was a process and I couldn’t possibly hope to write a masterpiece every time I put up my pen, or punched the keyboard into oblivion. *shrugs*

And now that I look back, I wish I’d known the following things before I started writing:

Refrain From Judgement

It’s one of the easiest thing to start judging your own writing, especially in the beginning.

You are so consumed with the idea of writing a brilliant piece that you cannot wait to edit and re-edit it until it turns into the next viral post or the next best selling book.

But the reality is that it doesn’t happen that easy. It doesn’t happen overnight. And it CERTAINLY does NOT happen with a few weeks even months of practice.

This realization – although a bit painful at first – puts you in the attitude of learning, one that allows for creativity to flow unobstructed. AND THAT’S WHAT YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON IN THE BEGINNING ANYWAY. 

Don’t Get All High and Mighty

This is another trap that beginners can very easily fall into. They overestimate their writing to the extent of closing their minds to suggestions which ultimately results in their undoing, wouldn’t you agree?

It’s because of their unwillingness to see room for improvement in their writing that it never grows, never flourishes into something worth reading.

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I have seen it happen with my friends who have recently taken up writing as a hobby. And every time they write something half-decent, in their minds they are suddenly the great-great-great grandson of Shakespeare, which is really fucking annoying to see, NOT GONNA LIE! 

There is ALWAYS room for improvement. Hell, even Tolkien’s writing could’ve improved with time. How many more masterpieces would he have spouted THEN! 

Self-Expression

When you read all those already established writers – writing in a set style that’s gotten them loads of success, you see it as a roadmap for YOUR success as well. You think that what worked for THEM will work for YOU as well. 

THAT’S A TRAP. DON’T FALL INTO IT. 

Understand that the ONLY reason other writers are successful and at the level that they are today is BECAUSE THEY LET THEIR INNER SELVES SHINE THROUGH THEIR WORDS. 

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They speak from their heart.
They write from their soul.
And it’s reflected in their work.
Can’t you see that? 

HUNDREDS of books are published every day and yet only a fraction of them manage to make a reader FEEL something; make them go mad for the characters! WHY IS THAT?

BECAUSE while MOST of those authors write solely for one time sale, one time read purposes, a precious few write to leave a lasting impression on the reader’s heart. They want to create something that the reader would want to revisit, again and again, and again. And THAT’S WHERE THEIR STRENGTH LIES.

Write from your heart, and watch magic happen RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES.

Practice. Practice. Practice.

With a dream of becoming a great writer comes great responsibility – of practicing the art, every single day. 

If you want to be better at something, you have to REALLY work at it. Put in REAL effort. Make time for it. And say no to any excuses that might seek to hinder your progress.

I’ll give you a personal example. When I was in 4th standard, my best friend once got bitterly humiliated by our class teacher. Why? Because her handwriting sucked. Yes. It sucked more than Mr. Darcy sucked at his proposal to Lizzie, and THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING! 

She cried and cried – THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY. Nothing I did was cheering her up. It seemed that the fact that she had been found wanting in some aspect was really bothering her. And she wanted to do something about it. That VERY day, I decided to help her better her handwriting, since I was pretty good with my cursive, not that I am bragging. 🤣

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We worked every day – in every single free period – on her letters. Slowly, they started to improve. And by the next semester, she was writing even more beautifully than me! The SAME teacher who had humiliated her was now using her handwriting as an inspiration for other students of our class.

You see, she CARED for her the fact her handwriting needed improvement. And so, she worked at it. Every single day.

Would her life have turned out worse if she hadn’t improved it? Not necessarily. But it’s all about what you care for – and it can be the most insignificant thing! It doesn’t matter. 

If it bothers you then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

If you want your writing to get better and better every single day, WORK AT IT, EVERY SINGLE DAY. And if you don’t, then you simply don’t care about improving it THAT MUCH. 

Remember to Enjoy the process 

We all crave for the end as if that’s the ONLY thing left in the world! What we fail to realize is that the fun is in the journey; the learning is in the journey; the experience is in the journey; the joy is in the journey. 

It’s a rule of thumb – if you forget to appreciate HOW you get there, you won’t appreciate it WHEN you arrive there either. Because the “end” – the achievement of your goal – will only last for a few moments but the journey? It’ll change you – for the better – if you’ll allow it to.

I spent MANY days and nights loathing the process and craving the result. But I couldn’t just skip that part, could I? And getting irritated with it was only going to make it THAT MUCH HARDER. So I decided to just – Write Everyday. And enjoy what I write!

AND THAT HAS MADE SUCH A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE!

So guys, don’t forget to have fun while you are in the process because believe me, you are going to miss these moments later on. It’s true that we never really realize the value of a moment once it’s lost but we can for sure try to, can’t we – try to enjoy the present, detaching ourselves from the outcome, and just having fun with it? 😉

WE CAN. AND WE MUST. ❤ ❤

These are the things that had I known and REALIZED in the beginning, I would have spared myself A LOT of frustration and anxiety. And now I hope that these points will help someone on their journey as well. 🙂 ❤

AND NOW I wanna hear YOUR tips and tricks as well. 😉 What advice would you give to your younger writer-self?

[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Are You Setting the Bar WAY TOO HIGH?// The Perfect Recipe for Disappointment//

You – yes, you, sitting behind that computer screen looking all kinds of beautiful and confident 😉 – tell me, what was your most popular post?

You know the one where you were getting crazy hits moments after hitting publish. People were commenting like nothing else mattered. I bet you felt like A GOD, didn’t you? You were able to help them in some way. Either by making them laugh, or maybe sharing some tips, or maybe just a feel-good post? BUT PEOPLE RELATED TO IT, DIDN’T THEY? Those moments are still seared in your memory – THAT FEELING OF BEING VALUED; THAT FEELING OF A POST TAKING OFF. *heart eyes*

You were on top of the world – the blogging world at least – and there was no limit to your happiness. It was all worth it that day, wasn’t it? The hard work, writing even when you didn’t feel like it, those long hours searching for EXACTLY THE RIGHT GIF, man THAT’S a real pain!

Still, the appreciation makes it ALL WORTH IT. It’s heartwarming to know that you aren’t screaming into a void; that people are actually listening to you. Nothing pumps up the spirits of a blogger kinda like those appreciative comments, those crazy shares, those increasing stats. (Own it now! DON’T BE SHY ;))

But nothing lasts and you too shall fall down. It’s the law of nature. AND GRAVITY. *shrugs*

You climbed up the mountain. It was hard. It was time taking. But it’s a fucking peak. Sooner or later, it’s gonna poke a hole through your goddamn shoes and you’re gonna have to climb down. If you don’t – a snowstorm might do the trick nicely. BUT COME DOWN YOU SHALL.

But, does it mean that you will start measuring every little success on that scale? Does it mean you will stop enjoying life’s simple pleasures just because they don’t provide the same kind of exhilaration that climbing a fucking mountain does?

I am sorry but that’s just too dumb for words. Yes, I said it.

When you write a post, you should do it ONLY BECAUSE YOU WANT TO WRITE. Not under the pressure of staying at the top. Because that attitude will definitely – DEFINITELY AND SEVERELY – affect your writing process, I am telling you.

Just yesterday I was going through all the posts I made during the last year. And I was surprised by how well a couple of them performed. It came as a shock, to be honest. Plus this realization brought with it a desire, a hunger to reach those heights again. I quickly opened my notepad and decided to write something EXACTLY LIKE THOSE POSTS – setting the bar way too high in the very beginning! I put so much pressure on my mind that the creativity muscle just kinda –

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I was forgetting one little thing, though – not every post I’ll write will be a masterpiece. Not every single post will do well. Not every single post will have people raving all about it all over the internet. AND THAT IS OKAY.

You see when you think about it – it’s just as it should be, really. If you’ll give serious thought to how this whole writing process works, it’ll become evident to you that it’s a perfect balance of odds the more you write, the more chances you create of writing something awesome. But expecting every single word to be like that? I am sorry but that is just not possible.

It’s a process. You practice with the practice. It’s not like you’ll sit in meditation for an hour once a week and the right idea will just flow through your mind and onto the paper. NOPE. How it ACTUALLY goes is you write and write and write and then one day, while writing, some words will JUST CLICK and VOILA! There is your next blockbuster post.

BUT until THAT happens, remember to enjoy every single word you write because it’s helping you and your craft – whether you can see it right now or not.


Now, I wanna hear your thoughts on the topic: do you agree? Do you have any insights that all the rest of us could benefit from?
Or maybe any such experience when you felt forced to give in to the pressure of ”famous topics” or ”viral posts”?

LET’S CHAT! ❤ ❤


[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Is Blogging REALLY Worth It?

It’s such a beautiful day out there. Clouds covering the vast sky like a lover trying to shield his beloved from all harm. I long to go out – feel that wind on my bare face, allow it to fill my whole body like something pure. I want to feel carefree, careless. undefined

 But alas! I have to write. Write, because without it my blog will be empty. Edit, because without it my posts will be ugly. Make graphics, because without it my writing will seem boring. Whoever said Blogging is effortless was lying. Lying through his fucking teeth. Nothing that’s new to you is ever going to be effortless. And the back-bone of blogging – the written word – certainly doesn’t come easily. Neither does the part that follows it. There is a lot of effort that goes into blogging which makes even the best of us wonder, at some point or another – “Is it even worth it?” What would all that hard work achieve?” “Why does it involve so much effort? I thought following your passion was supposed to be a cake in the walk, cake while walking, or a cake walk, Either way. ;).”

Well, let’s answer your questions.

It’s worth it if you value your writing.

Writing is an ever-evolving skill. The way you write today is different from yesterday. And so it’ll go on forever.

You don’t learn and THEN write. You learn AS you write.

It’s something that keeps on getting better and better, provided that you nourish it with enough practice. Practice comes from habit. And habit is formed with consistency. Would you be so naive as to hope to read every single book on writing before you ever write a single word and then hope to spout a masterpiece the moment you pick up the mightiest sword – THE PEN? I hope to god you wouldn’t because that would be foolishness at its fucking peak!  

It’s worth it if you value friendship

When I started blogging, I used to think of it as just sharing my thoughts and be done with it. I didn’t have THE SLIGHTEST INKLING that I would make SUCH AWESOME FRIENDS HERE!

All the beautiful bloggers that I met, interacted, and made friends with HAVE BEEN THE BEST PART OF BLOGGING, not gonna lie! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! YOU ROCK!

I LOVE YOU!!! You have made my blogging experience richer and more fun and I WOULD NOT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY!! ❤

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It’s worth it if you want to build your readership.

And by that I don’t mean blindly increasing the number of followers.

I mean establishing good and healthy relationship with those who read your blog, you comment on it, who value value your posts.

THEY are the ones who will give you GENUINE feedback on your writing, who will support you and your blog will be better for it. You will learn how to converse with your readers, what they like to read, what they jump at and it will definitely help you in bettering your own writing as well. Blogging isn’t only about punching the keys, IT’S MAINLY ABOUT INTERACTION and that really helps you in building a network of good and honest readers.

WHO THE FUCK WOULDN’T WANT THAT??

It’s worth it if you can manage your ever growing TBR

OKAY THAT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT BLOGGING! I don’t think I’d have read and discovered as many masterpieces as I have now without this little blog.

I mean whenever I visit any of my fellow bloggers posts and reviews, I always come out with a TBR that is sky high.

And it always amazes me how you guys manage to read so much. I mean WOW. You give me the inspiration to experiment with genres, something I’d not have done otherwise. I don’t think I’d have the courage to climb out of my comfort zone without reading and believing in YOUR experiences!

SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT! ❤

In the end, all I’d like to say is this:

Blogging has changed my life – the way I read, the way I write – EVERYTHING. And I am happier for it. And I am sure you guys have had the same experience. Sure it is hard work at first but it’s ALL worth it.

Blogging is THE BEST and anyone who says otherwise deserves a firm smack on the head, you know to put the wiring right. 😉

Dear Bilbo,

You have my heart.

It’s been a while since I came to visit you, I know. But don’t you assume that I have forgotten about you. You live in me, just like your story does – eternally. You changed me, even when I didn’t want to. You have added so much to my life that I cannot help but get misty eyed at the very moment something reminds me of you it could be a little word, a certain kind of weather, a feeling – I am not sure what to call this, but it’s safe to say that I am in love with you; in love with every bit of your personality, of your actions, of the way you were, are, and forever will be. It’s impossible to miss you because you are always here – present in the little acts I do all day long.

Whenever I look outside the window in my room, my mind wanders hither and thither only to settle – always – on you, Bilbo. I cannot help but wonder what the sky must be looking like from that beautiful house you live in. Bag-end – my favorite place to holiday. You remember my last visit? It was a winter morning and I was feeling particularly sad that day. I don’t remember why exactly but I was anxious to leave my house and go somewhere extraordinarily simple, where life is counted in moments. I wanted to go somewhere magical. And as soon as my eyes rested on the book containing your life, I knew where, my dear Hobbit. 

You might not know this but I jumped out of my bed, grabbed the book and hugged it tightif you randomly felt suffocated just a little bit around that time, it was me, for sure. 

I opened the pages and there you were – “in a hole in the ground.” Why do you have to be so adorable all the time, huh? It’s annoying how much you make me adore you. 😒 

I knocked on your door, and you thought it was Gandalf. Typical of you, Bilbo, to forget me so soon! That left me just a little bit heartbroken. Still, I was happy to see that mildly irritated face of yours at the very mention of “adventure.” How do you do it, though, I wonder – make the most ridiculously adorable expressions? 

I was sitting right alongside you on that dining table when you were nervously shaking your leg, at the prospect of facing a dragon. You didn’t know your own strength, dear Hobbit. I did. I have always admired how you just dropped everything and ran away to have an adventure, going against your very nature. That moment fills me with tears of joy – imagining you hopping on the little road down the Shire, eager to catch the dwarves lest they go on without you. 

Your courage, when it was needed, your  kindness, where it was required, your homesickness, when it was called for, your love for your friends, when they were all you really had – was, is, and always will be a motivation to all of us, Bilbo.

You have no idea how loved you are, how adored. There are countless others, like me, who love to visit Bag-end again and again just for the fun of your company but it’s safe to say that NONE OF THEM LOVES YOU LIKE I DO; none of them values you like I do. 

And although you’ve left now – gone to Valinor with the Elvesremember that Bag-end will always belong to you; the shire will always be yours; the very word Hobbit will be yours and yours only. None other compares. 

15th member of the company,

R A I N 

[A WRITER’S LIFE] The Fickle Muse //Tips + Tricks To Keep Her Happy and Generous//

Eyes closed. Shut, more like – focusing on the dark insides of my mind. “Help me, please”, I shout. But a burst of shrill laughter is all the response I get

On the verge of tears – I beg her TO JUST FUCKING GIVE ME AN IDEA – ANY IDEA WILL DOO! 

It’s really very difficult to please THE MUSE, isn’t it? I mean, you never know when she’ll start acting off and leave you in the lurch with no clues and a bullet to put in your brain should you be defeated before she graces you with her presence again!

Ugh, SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN.

But fear not! Although she loves to play a mean game of hide & seek, I am going to tell you some of her most BASIC TRAITS so that you can catch her before she runs away without giving anything in return for all those hours of frustration! 


🌸3:00 AM

That is her favorite time. You might suddenly wake up – feeling groggy, afraid, or even confused – with a hint of an idea in your head, just roaming around like a fly just about to die. 

YOU GOTTA CATCH IT BEFORE IT DROPS, THOUGH! I am serious, catch it in it’s flight because otherwise you may risk losing it forever.

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Get up, no matter how much you might loathe doing so, and WRITE IT DOWN. Yes, don’t you make the mistake of “keeping it stored in your memory till the morning.” Because the muse is moody. There have been cases where she came back and stole the ideas from the mind of the writer, JUST BECAUSE HE DIDN’T WRITE THEM DOWN ASAP.

Scary, isn’t she? Well, she is the only goddess we poor writers get so we have to play by her rules, no matter what. 

🌸Troublesome

One of the things that she likes to do the most is troubling you when you are busy. She might come in to surprise you with a fantastic idea for your post, say, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING THE DISHES.

Imagine having to walk to your room ALL THE WAY FROM KITCHEN – with soapy water dripping off your hands – putting your work on hold, JUST TO WRITE THE IDEA IN YOUR PHONE! 

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But it’s necessary as well because if you wait until AFTER you are done with the dishes, you may not be able to remember it again – EVER – and may die of guilt! So, yeah, keep in mind that she WILL disturb you when you are busy so KEEP A NOTEPAD WITH YOU AT ALL COSTS.

Doing this just might save your writing life by helping you build a gold-mine of ideas to pick from WHENEVER YOU WANT! 

🌸Jealous

When you start getting hooked on her fantastic ideas – flowing in so effortlessly, granted that she’s in a good mood – you never go back to brainstorming and other lame practices! YOU JUST FEED HER EGO AND SATIATE HER PRIDE WITH CONSTANT AND EFFUSIVE WORDS OF PRAISE.


But, let’s say you get inspired by someone else – a friend, a relative, your dog – whoever! And you decide to work on THAT idea BEFORE working on the muse’s, SHE WILL BREAK UP WITH YOU. SHE WILL RUN AWAY – and not alone, mind you. She will take with her every single idea she has ever graced upon your monkey mind!

WHAT WILL YOU DO THEN? Because your friends and other scarce sources of inspiration cannot possibly save you EVERY TIME, can they?

So, take my advice and PRIORITISE HER AND HER IDEAS – ALWAYS.

🌸Demands Sacrifice

In the earlier times, The Muse used to demand severe payment from the writers – their favorite pair of socks, pages of their most beautiful books, ordering them not to shower for a week straight. Every aspiring writer was required to practice cooking her favorite meals as well, just in case she gets hungry while helping them write. She also used to appear in their dreams and interrupt their sleep just for fun, you know!

SHE USED TO BE VERY CRUEL INDEED.

But as times have changed, so has her demands. Be warned though – that doesn’t mean they are any less difficult to follow. If anything, I think she has chosen her form of payment PERFECTLY, according to recent times.

So, WHAT DOES SHE WANT IN PAYMENT?

She wants your focus – your COMPLETE ATTENTION. And your hard work. THE MINUTE SHE CATCHES YOU SLACKING, she blocks the creative flow FOR A WEEK – A MONTH – MAYBE MORE! *gasps*



DAMN! That woman really knows how to train her disciples!

Plus I TOTALLY speak from experience because she has done that with me before. And let me tell you – THOSE DAYS OF CREATIVITY BLOCKAGE ARE A TORTURE. I have endured them and I don’t wish to go through that EVER AGAIN!

So learn from my experience – GIVE YOUR PREFERRED ART YOUR COMPLETE FOCUS – or else you might have to pay bitterly. *sobs*

As you must have understood by now, THE MUSE is very difficult to please – always running about, always teasing you with ideas, and then taking them away. But, I hope with these tips, you’ll be better able to predict her next move and be better prepared when she comes next!

I am curious though, do you have any personal experiences that you’d like to share? Some irritating moments while writing – because THAT WAS HER TO BE SURE!
Let me knowww in the comments.

Until next time,

[A WRITER’S LIFE] Dealing with Unjust + Hateful Criticism //A Personal Experience//

I didn’t understand criticism – REAL criticism – until I faced it.
Experienced it.
Until it shattered me from the inside.
It became the biter pill I could neither swallow nor throw up.
It got stuck in the middle of my throat – like a hundred tears threatening to fall if I removed that fake smile from my face.

But I couldn’t maintain my composure for much longer. The smile did fade away. The tears did fall. I told myself- “It’s the internet after all.” – but for some reason, it wasn’t working. Because in some part of me, I knew that there were actual people behind those made up usernames, people for whom what I write was the most disgusting and untrue thing they had ever read.

People for whom my style of writing came across as desperate and needy.

People for whom my ideas were worth nothing, my words were worth nothing, my effort was worth nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Upto that point, I had only known love from my readers. And that sudden burst of hateful criticism was becoming a bit too much to bear. I ended up crying my eyes out, not going to lie. Because I was still far from reaching that point of saying a bold “FUCK YOU” to the people who didn’t like what I was writing. Sure, I wrote it – half-hearted – as a response – but deep inside, my insides were in a knot and no amount of consolation was proving enough.

Why? Why did it feel like that? Why did I feel their hate so deeply? Had I not acquired any self-worth at all? 

The thing is, it wasn’t a question of self-worth. It was the question of self-expression. I have always poured my heart out in everything I write, in every word I type with my little fingers. And for people to discredit it was like discrediting my life – the experiences I have had – the journey that shaped me into who I am. THAT was the hard part. That was what I was having trouble accepting.

The breakdown was real. But not long. I couldn’t afford to lose what little spare hours I get during the day over crying about someone’s rather unjust words. What I COULD do, however, was put my whole self into what I was about to write next. I was afraid -afraid that my desperation as they said is very prevalent – would show. But I didn’t care. I had to write. That was the only way I could see to release the hints of anger, loathing, and irritation that had seeped into me having faced that kind of hate.

It was time to bleed.
Tell my story.
The way I wanted to.
The only way I had learned how to.
Because take that away and what do I have?
Take my authenticity away and what am I left with?
Empty letters. Hollow words. Fake experiences, just for the sake of a few people who couldn’t understand me? 

I wrote – bled on the paper, let out all of my frustration all of my anger, all of my sadness – and converted it into a flawed yet genuine piece of writing. I felt at peace. I felt the beauty of quiet satisfaction, one that I had taken for granted but never will again. I hit publish. And I knew – in my heart, I knew – that it will be loved. It will be adored. It will be understood by the people who WANT to understand. 

The rest of them? Well, it’s a wide ass world with a LOT of people living in it. How could I EVER hope to please every single one of them? How could I touch every single heart pumping in this beautiful world? 

But, if my words are able to touch at least a single one, I will consider my mission accomplished. If even a fraction of my readers are able to feel my words in the depth of their being, I will have accomplished what I set out to do – WRITE.


Well, writing this was a bit difficult but necessary. I feel like there will always be criticism surrounding anything you’ll do. The trick is to know when it’s constructive and when it’s only meant to bring you down!

And now, I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on it.
How do you deal with criticism?
Any past experiences that you’ve had with trolls in general?! xD
Comment and we’ll chat!



[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Comment for Comment – A FAULTY SYSTEM

When you follow a blog, what expectations do you have?

🌸 You’ll get a regular supply of awesome content and make friends with the amazing blogger behind it

OR

🌸 Yay! More people to comment on my posts! 

If the former, more power to you! But if you think the latter, then you aren’t the only ones making this awful, awful mistake.

The story starts two years back – when I was still very new to book blogging and everything was like a shiny toy. I was very helpful, friendly, and true of heart. (Not that I am not these things now..🤣)

My sole purpose used to be sharing my writing and making friends in the community. I used to enjoy talking with them about my interests, loved reading about their own – it was the golden era of my blog. 

Of course the problem started when I started trying to copy the famous blogger’s writing style in the hopes of gaining more followers because THEIR content matter seemed to get more famous than mine. But that’s a different story.

Little by little, I started to replace those pure feelings of joy in reading others’ content with an intense desire to get more and more comments. And towards that goal, I’d try to find and follow AS MANY BLOGS AS I COULD. I didn’t wait to think whether I REALLY liked their content, whether it was my kind of tea or notI just wanted to make them feel appreciated so that THEY WOULD MAKE ME FEEL APPRECIATED AS WELL. (I wish I had only focused on the ”making THEM feel appreciated” part! 😦

Such an awful, awful trend isn’t it?

And although I have come out of it now – because within the first few months of doing so, it started becoming WAYY TOO EXHAUSTING and so I shifted my attention back to following and reading content I actually love – it’s still very prevalent among other bloggers.

And I kinda hate that, not gonna lie.

Really?
Are you just going to comment on mine if I comment on yours?
Does that arrangement seem uplifting to you?
How is it helping though?

Really, HOW will you EVER know if your writing is ACTUALLY worth reading? By the number of comments? Oh, but they comment on yours because you comment on theirs. *shrugs* NOW what you have to say for yourself, huh?

The fault in this system is that:

🌸  It encourages too much selfishness which is neither good for you, nor for the others.

🌸  It comes in the way of making friends and the overall fun of reading a blog, because all the time, you are just think about YOURS, not REALLY appreciating THEIRS, do you see?

Hey, don’t get me wrong – blog hopping and supporting new bloggers is really important but the intention behind it shouldn’t be selfish. And I am not talking about you turning into an absolute saint here! 🤣 No, no, don’t do THAT. You have a responsibility to grow your blog as well. And doing some things SOLELY for that reason is COMPLETELY FINE. I do it too.

But when you start commenting on other blogs only because you expect them to comment on yours, it’s a disservice to their content, to be honest. 

Support and show them love without any expectatons. Try doing it – just for a month – review the blogs you’ve followed and actually give thought to their writing. Do you REALLY love it? Or was your follow just a bait – for them to visit your blog and follow you as well? 

Give this a serious thought and try an unconditional approach for a while.

It will be beneficial for both you and them in countless waysthe most important being the friendship that’ll form out of your love for their content. And out of that will come everything that you want as well – yes, yes, the comments and the follows (ugh, look at YOU! No change! 🤣) 

Give love because you feel like giving it, not because you expect they’ll love you back as well and see your world shift – towards a happier and more meaningful blogging experience. 

Because this“I’ll comment on yours only if you’ll comment on mine.”  – is a very mean practice. And one day, you’re going to get tired of it. I know. I did too. And THAT day you’ll realize who your ACTUAL FOLLOWERS ARE.

You’ll stop chasing those bribed comments soon enough. You’ll realize the importance of actual readership, of REAL followers who won’t leave you NO MATTER WHAT. 😉

[A READER’S LIFE] The Crazy Book-Girl //Things I did as a kid that earned me this title// PART-2

Having had WAY TOO many crazy bookish moments in my childhood, I have been wanting to share this post ever since I wrote the part one. 

My childhood was full on crazyI’d slap someone four years older than me and then get into trouble for that, took a few things too and hid them in a place where nobody could find them and then watched everyone panic – a classic example of this was when I took my aunt’s gold ring and kept it in my room.

In my defense I was only 5 years old and that ring was very fucking shiny – it had a peacock engraved in it. IMAGINE THAT!

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Yeah, so I took it – in innocence – but when she got mad at her own girls, I was afraid of telling her that it wasn’t them, it was me. And so, I didn’t speak out for the next three days – until my mum found it while looking for something in my bag. 

But, hey, THAT’S ANOTHER THING!! 🤷🏻‍♀️ Right now, I just wanna talk about some other things I did as a child that earned me the label I now wear with much pride and respect – “The Crazy Book Girl”

Let’s begin, shall we? 

undefinedGuilty of Stealing 

Ladies and Gentleman, we are gathered here today to witness the public shaming of this girl – who goes by the name RAIN.

Look at her. Just look. So innocent, isn’t she? Well, don’t be fooled by her little face because behind that innocent smile is the heart of a very heinous criminal who can and WILL destroy everything you hold dearmainly books.

The Local PD, Bookishton

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Yep. They are absolutely fucking right. I did steal someone’s book once. 

Hey, hey, HEYYY! Before you come at me with torches and swords, let me explain dude.

It was the year 2005 and I was merely 9 years old. By that time, I had already fallen head over heels in love with books – those pretty little books hiding those pretty little stories! 

This one time my ”friend” – let’s call her P – brought her recently rand new social science book to school. Okay, I admit that the content wasn’t very exciting but THOSE PAGES – glossy and smooth as butter. HARDCOVER. Pretty drawings. IT WAS THE VERY DEFINITION OF BEAUTY. 

And I was jealous. And SHE FUCKING KNEW IT! That’s why she kept showing it off whole dayy! 

Well, I got mad and decided I wanted that book. And so, when she went to the bathroom – I took the book out and put it in my bag. It wasn’t too big so nobody noticed me doing so.

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The first few moments I felt awesome but it soon converted into guilt. As that feeling started to overpower me, I decided to out it back in her bag but she came back right at that moment and since it was the last period, I couldn’t do it that day! 

When she went home, she must have cried a lot because her new book was missing. AND I FELT AWFUL TOO! And so, the next day – since I usually arrived in class before everyone else – I put the book on the very back seat and sat on my own bench.

The boy who was sitting there noticed the book in the first period, read her name and gave it back to her and that was that.

P, if you are reading this, I HOPE THIS TEACHES YOU NEVER TO FUCKING SHOW OFF! 

NOW GO AWAY. You were a mean bean in the later years and I HATE YOU! 😡

undefinedIt’s all about them stickers

As a child, I had a LOT of picture books. My mum used to bring me new ones every year from the book fair. IT USED TO BE ONE OF THE MOST ANTICIPATED DAY OF THE YEAR. And then, she used to give them to me at the end of every academic year – in March.

It was a lovely tradition and it helped in cultivating my reading habit. And so, I always prized those books and kept them decorated. With lots of those puffy stickers.

One of those books was titled – ”The Best Classic Fairy Tales’‘ –  It was very pretty orange colored and puffy and it had some of my favorite stories like Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, and Beauty and the Beast.

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I loved it and of course during those first few months of owning it, I would take it to school everyday, not to show it off though LIKE THAT P! 😡 Just to make sure that it’s alright, safe with me. 

I never took it out of my bag in the class. Never except that one time – in the social science period. Our teacher – with her typical short hair and mean eyes – noticed it and took it from me, asking me to give it back at the period’s end.

I waited impatiently for the bell to ring and as soon as it did, I was the first one off my seat and in front of the teacher’s desk. But she decided to troll me instead, saying that she wanted to borrow the book for a day – so that her daughter could read it.

I couldn’t very well refuse her, EXAMS WERE NEAR, worse luck! And so I nodded. 

The next day, however, when she returned the book, I was shocked to see what her daughter had done – torn off ALL OF MY STICKERS, leaving the pages looking ugly with all those white patches. Like this: 😦

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And you know what? She pretended as if that was always the case – as if it was like that when she took it from me in the first place!

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?! An apology would’ve been nice. 

From that day, I started being rude to that particular teacher and she’d purposefully cut my marks off for the MOST RANDOM MISTAKES.

Oh well.

undefinedHide your sweaters from me if you are a rude ass punk. 

Some of you who have read the part one of this post already know that I once beat up a guy for stealing my book. Well, that wasn’t the only bookish beating I executed.

There was one more. Just one. But this one is VERY important and I AM STILL VERY PROUD OF IT. 

I must have been around 11? years old when this happened. You see, I used to sit with this guy from my class in the bus while going back home. He and I used to read comics. The seats used to be really small so we would sit very close to each other and read from the comics – just random cartoons or something, I don’t even remember their names now.

And this other classmate of mine, call him Hasshole, he used to make fun of that. He used to gossip about us, that mean boy gossip you know, it makes me laugh now that I think about it. 

But boy did he cross his limit when he snatched the comic from us this one time and crumpled it (they used to be very thin) and started laughing like the Hasshole he was! 

He shouldn’t have done that. I got so fucking angry that I went to him, pinned him to the back of the bus, and tore his sweater a bit, starting with it’s v neck. You get the idea, yeah?

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He cried and cried until his stop came and unfortunately, it was the same as mine. When his mum, standing there to pick him up, saw this she asked him about it and he told her everything.

She scolded me and took me to my mother, who then scolded me again and I wasn’t allowed to go out to play FOR A WEEK!

 FUCK THAT ”HASSHOLE.” I HATE HIM! 


*SIGH* Well, THAT was a fun ride, wasn’t it? 😉
These are some of THE MOST memorable moments of my childhood, makes them laugh to even think about them now. And I have this vague idea that THESE ARE NOT ALL – maybe I’m forgetting something?!

I GOTTA GO ASK MUMMA!

Until, next time then?

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[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Things I still NEED to learn

Apart from possessing the ability to churn out fresh content by the week, responding to comments on a timely basis, blog-hopping consistently, and of course, spreading love in the community, there are a few other things that a blogger needs to understand and I seem to lack in those.

I used to think that I was a kick-ass blogger. I don’t now.

Why?

Well, let’s find out:

🌸The Power of Habit

I made a post last year – titled – “What makes a Good Blogger” 

I followed every single point I made in it. But THEN, because of JUST A LITTLE BIT OF DIFFICULTY – I let it all go down the drain – MONTHS OF HARD WORK – all went away! Just like that.

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Ugh. Me and my hypocrite self.

The point is, when I had that accident and decided to take a little break from blogging, I didn’t know what effect it would have on my habit of writing every day, one that I had had a LOT of difficulties cultivating in the first place.

We fickle human beings fail to recognize a little fact – our mind is ALWAYS trying to find ways to go back to being a lazy-ass dump of nerves. You can’t argue with that! 🤣

And when you decide to take those – unplanned breaks – you give it THE PERFECT AMMUNITION TO LIGHT THE FIRE IN YOU LIFEburning the good habits (that you took a LOT of time to form) to the ground. 

Well, do you disagree?! DO YA?!

But hey, that’s not to say that we can never take breaks. It’s just that there is an art to it, one that needs learning.

🌸The Art of Taking Breaks

WITHOUT ruining your habits, I should add.

As I said, the mind is a lazy-ass fuck who keeps yearning to go back to his old ways of procrastination and laziness.

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And we need to find a way to tread that sensitive ground with care. Think Katniss trying to hop her way around those mines to blow up all the ammunition. 🤷🏻‍♀️

So, it all comes down to this: Finding time to make sure you are engaging in writing at least a few minutes EVERY DAY – it can be just a little paragraph – but you do it daily

When you’ll do it every day, going back to blogging won’t seem THAT MUCH OF A MONSTER TASK – because you’ll have tidbits of content at your fingertips – ready to be converted into full-blown posts should you feel the need.

And that’s EXACTLY what I need to learn as well. Boop.

🌸Visit Your Blog Regularly

Yes. Okay, I know, I know. This one seems irrelevant. But, hear me out, alright? 

Whatever’s in front of your eyes on a regular basis becomes the dominant thought of your mind, doesn’t it?

Well, that’s the principle that will be activated when you form the habit of regularly visiting your blog yes, even on hiatuses. 

Just visit it. Don’t interact with anyone if you don’t want to. Don’t reply to comments yet, if you don’t feel like it. Don’t comment on others’ posts if you’d rather wait until you are officially back.

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BUT, visit your blog regularly nonetheless. Because by doing that:

•  You’ll keep reminding yourself what absolute fun blogging actually is and how much you love it.

•  You’ll also be reminded of how much effort you’ve put into it so far and what a waste it would be if you were to abandon it all of a sudden.

And both of those realizations will keep you from falling into laziness and inactivity. 

They surely would have helped me had I visited my blog regularly. And I am sure it’ll help you as well. 

 

🌸Never Forget

Okay, this is an extension of the last point but I think it’s too important not to repeat:

You must NEVER – under ANY circumstance – forget all the hard work that goes into maintaining the blog. 

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You put other things on hold to make your blog the prettiest, the coolest, the wittiest, the BESTEST! 

And all that work goes to waste if you stop giving attention to it all of a sudden. I mean, it’s like a house. A house becomes a home when you clean it every day, decorate it in your likeness, make sure that it reflects YOUR personality, your likes, and dislikes, YOUR habits.

BUT that same cozy and comfortable home turns into a cold and unwelcoming structure of bricks when you stop living in it, stop giving attention to it – doesn’t it?

Well, the same thing happens with our blog as well. It needs a similar kind of nurture and care – and that too REGULARLY.

🌸Keep in mind the people that you leave behind.

It isn’t only about writing and getting comments, is it? Blogging is also about the wonderful and welcoming communitythose friends that you make, that confidence that you build with them, their faith in you, and your faith in yourself.

Remember how much time it took you to form that?

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Well, don’t leave THEM behind just because you couldn’t keep your wandering mind under a leash. THEY are the ones who make your blogging experience so fucking wholesome and fulfilling. 

And you’d do well to remember that before you decide to leave your blog – a child of your mind – unattended the next time.

Yes, I AM TALKING TO YOU RAIN! ️ I swear to god you can be so fucking difficult sometimes. UGH! 

Well, I hope that these few points will help you as I am sure they’d have helped ME as well before I decided to fall into that same cycle of procrastination.

Until next time,

RAIN 

[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] The Mayfly Effect //Surviving the After-Effects of a Viral Post//

You are sitting behind your computer screen, practically jamming the keysnot stopping for food or drink. NO. ALL THAT’S JUST SUPERFICIAL STUFF. You have FINALLY found your muse and YOU GUYS ARE CLICKING TOGETHER.

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You are in LOVE – with everything. Ideas seem to flow off your mind and onto the paper like water. You will NOT be stopped. YOU ARE THE KIND OF THE WORLD. YOU CAN CONQUER ANYTHING. This is the moment you have been waiting for. Your heart is bubbling with excitement. With each word you type, your confidence grows tenfold. It keeps on growing and growing and growing until it EXPLODES. 

You hit publish.

For the first time in your writing life, you feel confidentACTUALLY FUCKING CONFIDENT about your skills. You just know, deep in your heart, that people are going to adore your post. And so you sit back, relax, and watch notifications pop up on the screen every five minutes people are liking it, commenting on it, sharing it. YOUR BABY IS FAMOUS. OH SO FAMOUS. 

You hadn’t tasted success before this moment but now that you have, it feels like the most natural thing in the world, doesn’t it? The fame, the glory – ALL OF IT. It feels like you were born to this, like you are a natural. And let’s face it, you ARE! You are PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME! And the obvious popularity of your written word is proof of it. 

So, for the next 24 hours, you receive hundreds of compliments saying how absolutely talented you are and how they love the way you write. YOU ARE AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD AND YOU LIKE IT HERE. You don’t wanna leave. E V E R.

You go to bed feeling all giddy, entertaining hopes of an even more exciting tomorrow. Your dreams – full of contentment. You are finally where you’d always dreamt of being. YOU ARE HAPPY. And so you should be.

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But the following day brings with it a promise of disappointment. No notifications now. If your phone chimes, it’s because your mumma wants to know whether you are still coming home for Sunday dinner, not because people are raving about your gorgeous writing skills. 

Your long-face and saddened eyes display every step of the breaking of your heart. You don’t understand how this could happen. Everything was going great yesterday, wasn’t it? People were in love with what you wrote and that gave you hope that MAYBE now they’ll discover your other writings too, that they’ll come to know how prolific you actually are and then THEY’LL NEVER WANNA LEAVE YOUBut they did, didn’t they? They liked what you wrote in a moment of utmost creativity and they moved on.

Ain’t nobody’s got time for your previous writing and stuff!! PFTTT!!

But you take it wayyy too seriously and now all your focus is on feeling that way again – THE STARDOM, THE IMPORTANCE!! You will go to harrow hell to bring that feeling home again. It’s become your drug now. YOUR OBSESSION. And you think that forcing yourself to write something EXACTLY the same way that got you in the spotlight is the way to do that.

But creativity doesn’t work that way. You used to know that when your mind was a humble being but it’s gotten too big for its own good in the last 24 hours and now it won’t listen to ANYTHING but it’s own ego.

Well, THAT’S NOT GONNA END UP WELL NOW, IS IT?
And it doesn’t!

Now, you are stuck in a rutnot being able to create ANYTHING because now you have this idea of how your posts are supposed to be INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO WHAT YOUR HEART IS TELLING YOU. 

That’s where it all goes downhill from, guys!

Going viral is all well and good and SO MUCH FUN but it creates totally unrealistic expectations in your mind – such that it’s not yet able to fulfill, and ESPECIALLY NOT IN THE STATE OF SO MUCH PRESSURE! And that’s the cue for creativity to go AWOL on you.

You must understand that although it was fun while it lasted, you need to focus on being yourself ALL THE TIME if you are to have a shot at being a most loved writer in the blogosphere. Know that your readers don’t want their minds blown away every single time you post something, they just want constancya steady stream of content to chew on. As long as you are doing that, IT IS ALL GOING TO BE JUST FINE, ALRIGHT?

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BE YOURSELF GUYS, EVEN IN THE FACE OF ALL THE STARDOMthat’s what’s going to set you apart and bring you the audience of your dreams.

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This has been my personal experience, you know! When my first ever post got MORE VIEWS AND COMMENTS THAN I’D EVER IMAGINED POSSIBLE, I went CRAAZZZYYY!!!

And I shouldn’t have. It’s all about the moment and as long as you enjoy what you are creating and doing all that you do with passion, people are going to adore it, no matter what!

DO YOU AGREEE!??? ❤
Have you experienced this before?