[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Anxiety-ridden mind of a blogger //My Return from the *eye roll* eXiLe//

Yesterday wasn’t the first time my heart whispered, ”Oi, dumbass! What about your fucking blog? When you going to get back to THAT?!!” It had asked the same question earlier as well, many, many times. But my mind would always shut it’s meek little voice down with all it’s lofty and rather negative ideas about…well, about everything really –

about you (yes, you, my dear reader!)

about me

about my writing skills

about the whole blogging community!

EVERY SINGLE THING about blogging had begun to scare me a little bit. Because of all the fears I had allowed my mind to store in my mind – all those sneaky, little WHAT-IFS! People are wrong when they say ”And idea can change your life.” Because believe me honey, A FUCKING ”WHAT-IF” CAN CHANGE IT FASTER, just not very positively! *shrug*

So here I am, opening up to you about some of the scariest what-if’s my mind fed me day in and day out until I recoiled from the very idea of punching the damn keys and hitting ‘publish.’

what-if people have forgotten me?

Not going to lie, this was the worst one!

You write for yourselves, yes. Just to satisfy your own passion for it. But there is always a hope that your words will be enjoyed by other people too. That they will take pleasure in reading them and will remember you because of them. And it was this little hope that this particular doubt began crushing with ALL OF IT’S MIGHT.

I’d stand tall in front of it in the beginning – ask this hateful thought to just FUCK OFF. But it seemed this fear was more persistent than my desire to be rid of it and soon, my will power failed in front of it. And I ended up surrendering to it. Sad. Embarrassing. But true, nonetheless. Oh, how I wish I can get all those moments of second-guessing back and just push through it!

what-if I am not not welcomed back?

This one got me SO SO mad at myself because it had me doubting YOUUU!! ughhh…..THE NERVE OF MY FICKLE BRAIN that it almost got me believing the horse-sh*t lie that THE BLOGGING COMMUNITY – MY FRIENDS – WONT WELCOME ME! *unamused*

If there is one thing I am always sure of? It’s that no matter what? The friends I made here – all the amazing bloggers with whom I share my love of reading and writing – are never going to just turn their back on me.

LOVE YOU ALL SO SO MUCH FOR THAT! ❤ ❤

what-if I have lost ‘it’?

I have written in the past about how setting the bar way too high can actually trump you up in so many ways when it comes to writing. You begin playing the comparison game that leads you to feeling lost and afraid of putting your posts out there for the world to read. I know because I have played it before and lost. There is no other option after all!

And with so many months of gap between me and my writing, this little fear began laying it’s roots in my mind once again.

Every time I’d open the computer to write? I’d end up comparing what I wrote to the posts I had made in the past and would reach the conclusion that ”ITS JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH!” This went on for QUITE a long while which in turn kept me from being able to simply write.

what-if I am unable to connect with my readers?

I cannot blame my mind for this one because this has happened to me once before as well. I was at fault since I had made an unannounced exit from the blogosphere for a couple of months.

It was back in 2017. I used to have a very good blogger friend. We would share our thoughts on all things bookish and it was SO MUCH FUN! But as December approached and the whole family got busy with shifting to the new house, it simply became more and more difficult to keep up with my social media presence. So I decided to take a break. The one thing I didn’t do though (which, I now realize, I should have) was announce my hiatus.

guilty as charged! *shrug*

During that time she commented on my blog and my Pinterest as well, but I was no longer accessing either of those. So I was only able to reply to her emails, which I did. But unfortunately, she took it as a sign of disrespect – that her comments had gone ignored. 😦 And although I tried my best to connect with her again when I came back, she simply didn’t seem as keen anymore.

That incident was the one that fueled my anxiety about not being able to make the connection again this time as well. BUT you have NO IDEA how glad I am that this isn’t the case – that I can still interact with all of you with the same excitement and familiarity! LOVE THAT and I have you to thank for making that possible.

I AM SO SO GLAD TO HAVE MET YOU GUYS HERE! You make blogging fun and worth it! ❤

Whew! That was so irritating – having to remember all those moments of second-guessing and frustration that kept me away from almost everything that I am passionate about and love doing. GAHH!! But now that I have revisited that time, I realize I am ready to leave those horrible and VERY MUCH UNTRUE what-ifs behind for good! YAYYYY!!!!

What about you though?

Have you been a victim of your mind playing such tricks on you – making you doubt everything you used to be so fucking sure of before?
Did it ever lead you to stop doing the things you love?

LET’S TALK ALL ABOUT IT! ❤

To All The Books I Didn’t Buy,

I was standing at the counter, holding a copy of If On A Winter’s Night A Traveler and Thomas Hobbes’ Leviathan. I had told myself those were the only two ones I needed at the moment. But you – your doleful eyes, your voiceless calling out to me – kept me glancing back at you.

Look.

Then look away.

Look again.

And look away. 

Shaking your pretty face from my eyes, I nodded with a faint smile when the cashier asked “would that be all, ma’am?” 

How to answer it, huh? With you staring daggers right into my weak fangirl soul! OF COURSE THAT WOULDNT BE ALL!! But what do I do? Do I go back and grab you by the hand, take you home with me, and cherish you for years to come? 

“No. No, Rain. You cannot do that. You have us to think of as well. You cannot be so selfish.” came a voice from deep inside my mind, from a corner I had chosen to forget my room even had. That dusty corner. And in that dusty corner was a stack of voices unheard. Roads untraveled. People unmet. And I have a responsibility towards them, after all. I cannot be so careless unfortu-fucking-nately!!!

But my eyes betray me.

They still end up reaching out to you.

And I see you reaching out to me.

You want me to be the one who holds you, get lost in the world contained in you. But as I think it through just once more, I realize it’s time. The cashier hands me the packet and the change. I clench my jaw as I will my eyes to not look back. The threshold arrives. And I cross it. I am on the other side now, the door closing behind me. 

But I am greedy. Greedy for one more glance at you. Just one more. It won’t be enough but at least it’ll be something. 

So I do. I look back. One last time. To pierce through your cover and catch a glimpse of the world you contain, the world I probably won’t be able to become a part of.

And I see you there. Still calling out to me, hidden in between a stack of other paperbacks a beautiful lovely pink cover with your name written over it, enticing me with its beauty.  It was love at first sight after all for I knew and I believed in the story your pages contained.

But alas, your fate. Or rather mine. Or maybe it’s just the lack of enough time but you’ll be forever listed under “All The Books I’ll Never Have the Pleasure of Reading.” 😦

[A READER’S LIFE] When you open that book for the FIRST time..

It’s strange – you are hurled into a new world, a different world.

From the moment your eyes fall on that first word your mind gets to work – trying to make it all seem natural to you. Trying to get you to SEE it, HEAR it, SMELL it. The book’s working hard for your attention and your mind’s it’s ally.

BUT..

Even these two with their shared powers of persuasion can achieve precious little on their own because you simply won’t accept this world, this story as true – as a part of you – until something about it catches your heart.

Until it makes you laugh, makes you cry, makes you weep, and makes your scream – ”WHYYYYYYY!?!?!?!”

THAT’S what you expect as soon as you open that book and decide to travel through different dimensions of the writer’s mind. And then when it actually happens – when your head starts to make some sense of the story and your heart starts feeling something for it, it’s as if everything around you falls down and now it’s just you and this treasure of a book in your hands.

Starting a new story is like…..hmmmm….well….I could sit here all day and still won’t be able to find an example that even comes close to describe that feeling. Because there isn’t one. You CANNOT describe what happens to you in that moment. You just let it slither it’s way into your head. If it’s good enough, you’ll hand over the control to your heart. If not? Well, that’s what 1 star reviews are for, right?! xD

A book is not just a bundle of pages. It’s a gateway into the workings of multiple minds –

🖤 YOU – the reader, for you would interpret it YOUR OWN WAY. You will read it different, understand it different, feel it different. Your preconceptions about what the characters do (or don’t do), what their motivations are will have a major role in determining whether you’ll fall in love with it or it’ll join your DNF’d pile of shame. xD

🖤 THE WRITER – because of a very simple reason: it’s the product of their mind, afterall. Much of why what happens, happens in the story will have been affected by the writers’ own set of ideals – their sense of right and wrong, their dreams, their experiences. Everything that shaped them, helped them become who they are will have an effect on how they shape their characters, even if just a little bit.

🖤 THE CHARACTERS – A good book will leave you shook, to the point that you will start questioning your own sense of reality because to you, the characters of the story will be real – in your mind they will be flesh and blood. You will sympathize with them, laugh with them, cry with them, get mad at them. Most importantly – YOU WILL GET TO KNOW THEM. How they do what they do. AND WHY THEY DO IT! You will be privy to it ALL!

WHOA!

SO MUCH HAPPENS WHEN WE READ A BOOK. And it happens so smoothly that we don’t even notice it until we are done!

AND THEN?!

AHEM. Let me show you –

It’s time to go through it all – ALL OVER AGAIN! ❤ ❤

[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] What is a POST?

[NOTE: I know the past couple of weeks I haven’t been able to respond to your lovely comments and catch up with your wonderful posts – believe me I MISS YOU GUYS! But there was just too much going on and I couldn’t manage everything very effectively. And what gladdens my heart and fills it with gratitude is that some of you STILL supported my blog and visited my posts – THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT! You guys are awesome and I am so very grateful to have met you! THANK YOU AGAIN! YOU GUYS ARE THE BESTEST EVERRR!!! LOVE YOU! ❤ ]

The guilt of not having posted according to my schedule for the past couple of weeks surrounded me. I felt a bit sad. I missed those lively interactions on my favorite blogs and their lovely posts, book-twitter – EVERYTHING.

And now, here I was, trying to find a good reason to go on with my blogging and reading schedule. I lacked proper motivation to open WordPress and ACTUALLY WRITE SOMETHING. My fingers hovered over the keyboard for a long time before it struck me – I wasn’t averse to writing, I was just irritated with the impossibly high standards I had set for myself as a blogger –

My posts MUST ALWAYS be visually appealing.

My gifs MUST ALWAYS be “out of this world.”

My reviews MUST ALWAYS be aesthetic.

All in all, my posts MUST ALWAYS be unique.

This demanding checklist left me overwhelmed which eventually burnt me out. For the last week, I had been trying and failing to catch up with my blogger friends because I was feeling STUCK in my own web of perfection.

If only I had realised that a post is – at it’s most basic – a record of your genuine thoughts. Of course, you can add lots of different flavours of visuals, effects, and, pretty graphics to it to make it even more enjoyable BUT it doesn’t ALWAYS need to be that way.

Sometimes you can just let all those ideas of perfection go and JUST WRITE YOUR HEART OUT, without any stress of all the work that’ll come AFTER it.

Whenever we try to chase THE IDEAL and make it the SOLE purpose, we eventually burn ourselves.

Yes, you are a blogger. But you are also a student, an employer, an employee, a reader, an author, a doctor, an engineer, a parent – you are SO MANY PEOPLE AT ONCE! And to fulfill every single one of those roles to satisfaction, you need to let yourself free from time to time or else it sucks the very joy of blogging out of it.

And that’s no fun at all.

As a blogger, the lack of motivation and reason to write and hit publish is one of the worst things ever! And to make sure that you don’t go through such a burnout – not at least on a regular basis – you just need to RELAX and allow yourself a few mistakes, a few let ups, a few missed deadlines, a few slackened standards.

Why?

Because your posts are not defined by those glitters – they are defined by their message, their content, their originality.

Allow yourselves to be a human who sometimes misses a few things, forgets others – there is fun in that. 😉

Ps: By now you must know why this post is so devoid of the usual flare. I hope you still liked it just the same. ❤

[MOONDUST] I put myself in the shoes of a deeply troubled girl and as I wrote down her plight, I could feel her sadness. Can you?

A deep breath and a forceful exhale – I hoped this would get rid of this heavy, toxic feeling in the middle of my chest – making it hard for me to breathe. The ground started to shake beneath my feet, nerves straining on the temples of my forehead – what was it that I was trying to remember – a happy feeling, perhaps?

When she – my mother – got sad and all those repressed feelings manifested themselves in the shape of a disease, I blamed myself. When the very air inside my own home seemed to turn foul at the very touch of my existence, I resented myself. And now that everyone is obviously happy without me, I despise myself.

Why is my family’s unhappiness almost ALWAYS tied with me?

Breaths start coming in shorter and shorter as I mentally will myself to move – run away from this toxic place that is my room, this house, the people in it. 

I – Kaya – am a troubled soul. I am she who wakes up at 3 in the morning with misty eyes and a heavy heart. 

I am she who spends night after night being envious of the stars just because they are so comfortably far away from here.

My house is a beautiful place full of beautiful things. I have so many pretty dresses, you know? More than you could ever dream of. I have food. I have books. I have shoes. I have money. So – 

“What do I have to be depressed about?” everyone asks me, with a mock in their tone and tease in their eyes.

Yes. I have everything – everything except someone to understand me. 

I want acceptance, not judgement.
I want love, not resentment.
I want you – my dear family – to stop hating me ”out of concern.”

Get me this one last thing and I will be happy, I promise. 

I – who am neither an adult, nor a teenager – want to be understood; I – who am still in the process of figuring myself out – need you to be cooperative with me.

You are my family. I trust you. I fight for you. I love you. Unconditionally. Then why is it that when something goes wrong with ME – personally – all of your faith in me vanishes, all of your hopes and dreams of me come crashing down and I am reduced to A MERE FAILURE?

It’s already a very harsh world and I hope I am not asking for something extravagant in wishing that – when life blows me down – you will become my soft landing – not a bed of thorns – constantly reminding me with EVERY SINGLE PRICK where I fucked it all up! 

Today this 21 year old has everything – everything except mental peace. She is fatigued. She is tired. She is weary of soul – not because of the world and the disappointments of life – but because her own turned their backs against her in the moment she needs help the most.

Believe me – your silent stares of judgement don’t go unseen. Your disappointed sighs don’t go unheard. I can taste it all in the very air and it’s suffocating me.

I might just run away and come back all renewed – morphed into the version of myself that you most want to see.

But before I can do that – I want you to see the REAL ME – with all my faults. And I want you to KNOW that every reaction is an answer, not a question – the questions were all yours. When you turned me away silently – you asked me (without words) some very basic questions:

“What even is your worth in this family? What is your importance?”

And my answer came out in every single retaliation, in every single shout, and in every single night I spent crying in my bedroom. 

You have got me thinking of myself as a culmination of all the bad luck in the world – but of course, you do it all because you are “concerned”, aren’t you? Well – how can I argue with that! 

I will be waiting, then – for another one of your verbal thrashing.

[A READER’S LIFE] Dating an Obsessive Reader – DEFINITELY NOT A CAKE WALK

SERIOUSLY! Ask my boyfriend. He can write a fucking book on it. xD

I was out of ideas for a new post when I thought of writing about all the bookish experiences we have had together till date. And while I think of them as fond memories, his reaction was quite bitter-sweet. AS SOON AS I TOLD HIM THE IDEA I WAS GOING TO WORK ON, HE WAS MORE THAN WILLING TO CONTRIBUTE. xD In fact, he even chose the title for me – and..ummm..I don’t know how to feel about that, to be honest! *shrugs* xD

”AM I THAT BAD?” I asked, with misty eyes. But he was already writing an EXHAUSTIVE LIST of all the times I had been VERY FUCKING DIFFICULT ON HIM, as an obsessive reader. xD

So, at his most earnest request, I am going to share a few incidents with you so that, as he says, ”my cruelty can come to light.” SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN. UGH!

The Book Fair

Let’s go back to November 2019. We hadn’t been able to meet for a few weeks. His exams were going on and since he never starts studying until THE DATE-SHEET HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED (me too, actually xD), he needed some time to, well, cram it all up.

His days were swallowed completely by the exams and I was busy making lists upon lists of ALL THE BOOKS I WAS GONNA BUY AS SOON AS THE FAIR STARTS! *heart eyes*

He knew my plan of visiting the fair – OBVIOUSLY – but I hadn’t decided on a specific date yet. You see, mum and I usually went together so it had to be a day when she was free as well.

The arrived the last Sunday of November and I woke up to mumma already determined to go to the fair that day. I WAS SOO FUCKING EXCITED! I hopped out of my bed to get ready when my phone rang. Yep. It was him. Asking me to meet that day. Now, I was stumped. I wanted to meet him, OF COURSE – SO BADLY, BUTTTTTTT….

IT WAS THE LAST WEEK OF THE FAIR!
HOW could I miss it? You tell me!

Well, I didn’t.

I re-arranged our meeting and went to the fair instead. He was angry at me FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT for abandoning him like that! To be honest, I now realize that his anger was justified – it had been almost a month and the date was LONGGG OVERDUE!!

So ALRIGHT! I am SORRY! You happy? PLEASE LET IT GOO NOWW! 😦 😦

Pride and Prejudice

Okay THIS ONE’S JUSTIFIED TO BE HONEST!

We hadn’t started dating yet. I liked him. A LOT. But I needed to make sure that he is THE ONE! 😉 So, one day, I started talking about my love for Jane Austen. He loves period dramas so I was sure that this was a topic he’d be interested in. BUT READING THE DAMN BOOK? Yeah, NO CHANCE. But I tried to get him to read Pride and Prejudice just the same. MAYBE..JUST MAYBE..HE WOULD GIVE IN? But, nope. Reading classics was not his cup of tea.

I was like,

Of course, it wasn’t HIS fault but I just – I WANTED HIM TO LIKE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!!! So, I decided to give it another try. You see, we used to suggest each other loads of movies and then discuss about them. And my next suggestion was – yes, you’ve guessed it right – THE 1995 PRIDE AND PREJUDICE MINI SERIES! ❤ ❤

He couldn’t say no – although he tried – because I watched HIS suggestions as well, whether I liked them or not. (He loves war fiction)

Well, he did watch it. For sure. He watched it and GUESS WHAT??!! HE CAME LOVE IT TOO! He also discussed the characters with me *heart eyes* and I WAS LIKE OKAY, YEAH, HE IS THE ONE!

But yes, I agree – until he watched the series, I gave him a REAL HARD TIME! Sorry not sorry about that tooo!!! 😉

We Were Liars

When I first read We Were Liars, I couldn’t control the tears. I couldn’t control the sadness. And I couldn’t stop talking about it with him. He got intrigued by my obsession for it and decided to borrow my copy and give it a read. I knew he would love it as well and that’s EXACTLY what happened! HE LOVED IT SOO FUCKING MUCH.

But I was troubled about one thing. You see, it had been weeks since I lent him the book but he was showing no intentions of returning the book! I mean – You read it. You loved it. NOW GIVE IT BACKKK!!! And one day, I mentioned this to him. He looked at me dead serious and laughed out loud. He started teasing me, declaring that it belonged to him now.

THE HORROR ON MY FACE MUST HAVE BEEN TOO OBVIOUS TO BE MISSED! I demanded the book back RIGHT THEN AND THERE. xD He pulled it out of his bag and confessed that he just wanted to see my reaction and smiled at me most lovingly. I blushed and blushed and blushed at my foolishness, my fickleness! xD

It’s been 4 years since that happened and he still teases me about it. *shrugs*

Well…THERE ARE MANY MANYYY more such incidences that I would LOVEEE to share with you but…some other time, yeah? 😉 ❤

For now, tell me – COULD YOU RELATE?!?! I AM SURE you agree with me about We Were Liars yeah? I MEAN…BORROWING A BOOK AND NOT GIVE IT BACK?!? BADDDD!!! *shrugs*

Okay…so now it’s your turn – any crazy experiences related to books you wanna sharee!??!!! 😉 ❤ ❤

Dear Book-Bloggers,

First of all, HOW ARE YOU? Doing good? Killing it? Reminding yourself how absolutely awesome you are?

I hope so because believe me your passion hasn’t gone unnoticed. I see you churning out posts after posts, pouring your heart in them. Stating BOLDLY what YOU think, what YOUR opinions are. And doing so in the most beautiful and visually appealing manner.

Do you think we don’t realise how much effort goes into maintaining those gorgeous blogs?

We do.

I do.

I know how time consuming and mentally exhausting this whole process can be. On the surface it seems like we are living the dream – reading what we love and then gushing about it like a bunch of cute and excited fans. And while, it’s true to an extent, I don’t forget the underlying hard work. 

How many many hours have you spent finding just the right words?
How many websites have you scoured trying to find THE EXACT gif that compliments your posts?
How many failed attempts did it take to make those beautiful graphics that you adorn your writing with?
How many times have you had to give up doing something else just to make sure you reply to those lovely comments on time? And how bad did you feel when you realised you missed a couple?

It’s a painful process sometimes. Almost like a full time job. I am not saying we don’t enjoy it or we aren’t happy doing it – but there ARE days when it just feels like too much.

What are we even doing it for? For ourselves, yes. For our own personal satisfaction. But also for the encouragement we get from others. For those wonderful interactions and those beautiful friends you have made here.

But then, something happens that dampens your spirits. Some ignorant people make stupid remarks and try to fill your head with doubts and complex. And suddenly, you start questioning everything.

Why am I here if what I am doing is not even valued properly?

Well, I am here to remind you that it IS valued. Don’t you DARE think that all those wonderful reviews that you write have any less value than those reviewing books on other platforms.

Think about the joy of the author when they see your wonderfully worded review about THEIR book! How uplifting must THAT feel. We read books because there is just something about the way those properly and immaculately placed words make us feel, don’t we? Well, your reviews have the same effect on the authors. They feel valued, just as they DESERVE. They put out content – they share it. For themselves, yes. But also for us. And your reviews help them realise how exactly their words made YOU feel.

Remember – there is power in the written word. And you are the writer of all those beautiful and uplifting posts. There is beauty in that.

So take pride in your work. YOU ARE INVALUABLE – for the readers, the authors, the publishers, AND for your fellow book-bloggers. ️

ALL THE LOVE,

R A I N

[A WRITER’S LIFE] 5 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started Writing

Writing is the purest form of expression.
You bleed your heart out on the paper, hoping it would turn into something remotely worth reading. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn’t. 

But that’s not the point.

Writing words is easy. But writing something that makes someone want to spend their time on? Well, THAT’S the tricky part.

And its this fact that trumped me up in the beginning of my journey. A few words in and I would start overthinking it. And eventually, I would give up – for days, weeks, months on end. I failed to realize that this was a process and I couldn’t possibly hope to write a masterpiece every time I put up my pen, or punched the keyboard into oblivion. *shrugs*

And now that I look back, I wish I’d known the following things before I started writing:

Refrain From Judgement

It’s one of the easiest thing to start judging your own writing, especially in the beginning.

You are so consumed with the idea of writing a brilliant piece that you cannot wait to edit and re-edit it until it turns into the next viral post or the next best selling book.

But the reality is that it doesn’t happen that easy. It doesn’t happen overnight. And it CERTAINLY does NOT happen with a few weeks even months of practice.

This realization – although a bit painful at first – puts you in the attitude of learning, one that allows for creativity to flow unobstructed. AND THAT’S WHAT YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON IN THE BEGINNING ANYWAY. 

Don’t Get All High and Mighty

This is another trap that beginners can very easily fall into. They overestimate their writing to the extent of closing their minds to suggestions which ultimately results in their undoing, wouldn’t you agree?

It’s because of their unwillingness to see room for improvement in their writing that it never grows, never flourishes into something worth reading.

I have seen it happen with my friends who have recently taken up writing as a hobby. And every time they write something half-decent, in their minds they are suddenly the great-great-great grandson of Shakespeare, which is really fucking annoying to see, NOT GONNA LIE! 

There is ALWAYS room for improvement. Hell, even Tolkien’s writing could’ve improved with time. How many more masterpieces would he have spouted THEN! 

Self-Expression

When you read all those already established writers – writing in a set style that’s gotten them loads of success, you see it as a roadmap for YOUR success as well. You think that what worked for THEM will work for YOU as well. 

THAT’S A TRAP. DON’T FALL INTO IT. 

Understand that the ONLY reason other writers are successful and at the level that they are today is BECAUSE THEY LET THEIR INNER SELVES SHINE THROUGH THEIR WORDS. 

They speak from their heart.
They write from their soul.
And it’s reflected in their work.
Can’t you see that? 

HUNDREDS of books are published every day and yet only a fraction of them manage to make a reader FEEL something; make them go mad for the characters! WHY IS THAT?

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BECAUSE while MOST of those authors write solely for one time sale, one time read purposes, a precious few write to leave a lasting impression on the reader’s heart. They want to create something that the reader would want to revisit, again and again, and again. And THAT’S WHERE THEIR STRENGTH LIES.

Write from your heart, and watch magic happen RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES.

Practice. Practice. Practice.

With a dream of becoming a great writer comes great responsibility – of practicing the art, every single day. 

If you want to be better at something, you have to REALLY work at it. Put in REAL effort. Make time for it. And say no to any excuses that might seek to hinder your progress.

I’ll give you a personal example. When I was in 4th standard, my best friend once got bitterly humiliated by our class teacher. Why? Because her handwriting sucked. Yes. It sucked more than Mr. Darcy sucked at his proposal to Lizzie, and THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING! 

She cried and cried – THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY. Nothing I did was cheering her up. It seemed that the fact that she had been found wanting in some aspect was really bothering her. And she wanted to do something about it. That VERY day, I decided to help her better her handwriting, since I was pretty good with my cursive, not that I am bragging. 🤣

We worked every day – in every single free period – on her letters. Slowly, they started to improve. And by the next semester, she was writing even more beautifully than me! The SAME teacher who had humiliated her was now using her handwriting as an inspiration for other students of our class.

You see, she CARED for her the fact her handwriting needed improvement. And so, she worked at it. Every single day.

Would her life have turned out worse if she hadn’t improved it? Not necessarily. But it’s all about what you care for – and it can be the most insignificant thing! It doesn’t matter. 

If it bothers you then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

If you want your writing to get better and better every single day, WORK AT IT, EVERY SINGLE DAY. And if you don’t, then you simply don’t care about improving it THAT MUCH. 

Remember to Enjoy the process 

We all crave for the end as if that’s the ONLY thing left in the world! What we fail to realize is that the fun is in the journey; the learning is in the journey; the experience is in the journey; the joy is in the journey. 

It’s a rule of thumb – if you forget to appreciate HOW you get there, you won’t appreciate it WHEN you arrive there either. Because the “end” – the achievement of your goal – will only last for a few moments but the journey? It’ll change you – for the better – if you’ll allow it to.

I spent MANY days and nights loathing the process and craving the result. But I couldn’t just skip that part, could I? And getting irritated with it was only going to make it THAT MUCH HARDER. So I decided to just – Write Everyday. And enjoy what I write!

AND THAT HAS MADE SUCH A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE!

So guys, don’t forget to have fun while you are in the process because believe me, you are going to miss these moments later on. It’s true that we never really realize the value of a moment once it’s lost but we can for sure try to, can’t we – try to enjoy the present, detaching ourselves from the outcome, and just having fun with it? 😉

WE CAN. AND WE MUST. ❤ ❤

These are the things that had I known and REALIZED in the beginning, I would have spared myself A LOT of frustration and anxiety. And now I hope that these points will help someone on their journey as well. 🙂 ❤

AND NOW I wanna hear YOUR tips and tricks as well. 😉 What advice would you give to your younger writer-self? ❤

[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Are You Setting the Bar WAY TOO HIGH?// The Perfect Recipe for Disappointment//

You – yes, you, sitting behind that computer screen looking all kinds of beautiful and confident 😉 – tell me, what was your most popular post?

You know the one where you were getting crazy hits moments after hitting publish. People were commenting like nothing else mattered. I bet you felt like A GOD, didn’t you? You were able to help them in some way. Either by making them laugh, or maybe sharing some tips, or maybe just a feel-good post? BUT PEOPLE RELATED TO IT, DIDN’T THEY? Those moments are still seared in your memory – THAT FEELING OF BEING VALUED; THAT FEELING OF A POST TAKING OFF. *heart eyes*

You were on top of the world – the blogging world at least – and there was no limit to your happiness. It was all worth it that day, wasn’t it? The hard work, writing even when you didn’t feel like it, those long hours searching for EXACTLY THE RIGHT GIF, man THAT’S a real pain!

Still, the appreciation makes it ALL WORTH IT. It’s heartwarming to know that you aren’t screaming into a void; that people are actually listening to you. Nothing pumps up the spirits of a blogger kinda like those appreciative comments, those crazy shares, those increasing stats. (Own it now! DON’T BE SHY ;))

But nothing lasts and you too shall fall down. It’s the law of nature. AND GRAVITY. *shrugs*

You climbed up the mountain. It was hard. It was time taking. But it’s a fucking peak. Sooner or later, it’s gonna poke a hole through your goddamn shoes and you’re gonna have to climb down. If you don’t – a snowstorm might do the trick nicely. BUT COME DOWN YOU SHALL.

But, does it mean that you will start measuring every little success on that scale? Does it mean you will stop enjoying life’s simple pleasures just because they don’t provide the same kind of exhilaration that climbing a fucking mountain does?

I am sorry but that’s just too dumb for words. Yes, I said it.

When you write a post, you should do it ONLY BECAUSE YOU WANT TO WRITE. Not under the pressure of staying at the top. Because that attitude will definitely – DEFINITELY AND SEVERELY – affect your writing process, I am telling you.

Just yesterday I was going through all the posts I made during the last year. And I was surprised by how well a couple of them performed. It came as a shock, to be honest. Plus this realization brought with it a desire, a hunger to reach those heights again. I quickly opened my notepad and decided to write something EXACTLY LIKE THOSE POSTS – setting the bar way too high in the very beginning! I put so much pressure on my mind that the creativity muscle just kinda –

I was forgetting one little thing, though – not every post I’ll write will be a masterpiece. Not every single post will do well. Not every single post will have people raving all about it all over the internet. AND THAT IS OKAY.

You see when you think about it – it’s just as it should be, really. If you’ll give serious thought to how this whole writing process works, it’ll become evident to you that it’s a perfect balance of odds – the more you write, the more chances you create of writing something awesome. But expecting every single word to be like that? I am sorry but that is just not possible.

It’s a process. You practice with the practice. It’s not like you’ll sit in meditation for an hour once a week and the right idea will just flow through your mind and onto the paper. NOPE. How it ACTUALLY goes is you write and write and write and then one day, while writing, some words will JUST CLICK and VOILA! There is your next blockbuster post.

BUT until THAT happens, remember to enjoy every single word you write because it’s helping you and your craft – whether you can see it right now or not.


Now, I wanna hear your thoughts on the topic: do you agree? Do you have any insights that all the rest of us could benefit from?
Or maybe any such experience when you felt forced to give in to the pressure of ”famous topics” or ”viral posts”?

LET’S CHAT! ❤ ❤

[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Is Blogging REALLY Worth It?

It’s such a beautiful day out there. Clouds covering the vast sky like a lover trying to shield his beloved from all harm. I long to go out – feel that wind on my bare face, allow it to fill my whole body like something pure. I want to feel carefree, careless.

 But alas! I have to write. Write, because without it my blog will be empty. Edit, because without it my posts will be ugly. Make graphics, because without it my writing will seem boring. Whoever said Blogging is effortless was lying. Lying through his fucking teeth. Nothing that’s new to you is ever going to be effortless. And the back-bone of blogging – the written word – certainly doesn’t come easily. Neither does the part that follows it. There is a lot of effort that goes into blogging which makes even the best of us wonder, at some point or another – “Is it even worth it?”  “What would all that hard work achieve?” “Why does it involve so much effort? I thought following your passion was supposed to be a cake in the walk, cake while walking, or a cake walk, Either way. ;).”

Well, let’s answer your questions.

It’s worth it if you value your writing.

Writing is an ever-evolving skill. The way you write today is different from yesterday. And so it’ll go on forever.

You don’t learn and THEN write. You learn AS you write.

It’s something that keeps on getting better and better, provided that you nourish it with enough practice. Practice comes from habit. And habit is formed with consistency. Would you be so naive as to hope to read every single book on writing before you ever write a single word and then hope to spout a masterpiece the moment you pick up the mightiest sword – THE PEN? I hope to god you wouldn’t because that would be foolishness at its fucking peak!  

It’s worth it if you value friendship

When I started blogging, I used to think of it as just sharing my thoughts and be done with it. I didn’t have THE SLIGHTEST INKLING that I would make SUCH AWESOME FRIENDS HERE!

All the beautiful bloggers that I met, interacted, and made friends with HAVE BEEN THE BEST PART OF BLOGGING, not gonna lie! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! YOU ROCK!

I LOVE YOU!!! You have made my blogging experience richer and more fun and I WOULD NOT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY!! ❤

It’s worth it if you want to build your readership.

And by that I don’t mean blindly increasing the number of followers.

I mean establishing good and healthy relationship with those who read your blog, you comment on it, who value value your posts.

THEY are the ones who will give you GENUINE feedback on your writing, who will support you and your blog will be better for it. You will learn how to converse with your readers, what they like to read, what they jump at and it will definitely help you in bettering your own writing as well. Blogging isn’t only about punching the keys, IT’S MAINLY ABOUT INTERACTION and that really helps you in building a network of good and honest readers.

WHO THE FUCK WOULDN’T WANT THAT??

It’s worth it if you can manage your ever growing TBR

OKAY THAT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT BLOGGING! I don’t think I’d have read and discovered as many masterpieces as I have now without this little blog.

I mean whenever I visit any of my fellow bloggers posts and reviews, I always come out with a TBR that is sky high.

And it always amazes me how you guys manage to read so much. I mean WOW. You give me the inspiration to experiment with genres, something I’d not have done otherwise. I don’t think I’d have the courage to climb out of my comfort zone without reading and believing in YOUR experiences!

SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT! ❤

In the end, all I’d like to say is this:

Blogging has changed my life – the way I read, the way I write – EVERYTHING. And I am happier for it. And I am sure you guys have had the same experience. Sure it is hard work at first but it’s ALL worth it.

Blogging is THE BEST and anyone who says otherwise deserves a firm smack on the head, you know to put the wiring right. 😉