Until a stranger arrives. No signs. No warning. He sets foot in this old town full of old people set in their old ways and all of a sudden, the wind shifts it’s course.
Faint voices intertwined with the howling wind – as if lamenting it’s loss of attentive listeners. It wants to tell you a story. A story that’s as old as Near itself.A story of a misunderstood but powerful soul and it’s soul’s thirst for revenge.
Are you willing to listen?
I sat in the front yard – with my back propped up on one of those black chairs that my dad keep with such care, and legs straightened on the other. The wind that started in the rusting leaves found it’s powerful way into my open hair. It felt as if the driving force of the book I was holding in my hands had crawled into my world, and it was just the beginning.
The Near Witch had come. Or had I gone to meet her? Was I in the town of Near? Or was it in me?
Honestly? I don’t even know. All I cared about was the fact that there was this strange music all around me – the wind was singing and the words were compelling.THAT was the power this book held over my mind, even my surroundings.
From the very first page itself, I was left in awe of the way Schwab played tricks on me – her hauntingly lyrical prose and the world she created were so convincing that for the time being, nothing existed other than me, the town of Near, and it’s people.
”Nothing good grows out of fear.”
Fear is a strange thing.
It has the power to make you act in ways you never even contemplated of. But while it may be true for some, others see it as an opportunity to finally let out all those horrible urges that they have been holding on for far too long. And that’s what happens when one by one, the children of this moor bound town start disappearing. People’s ignorance and unwillingness to at least try to understand a point of view that goes against their idea of what’s ”NORMAL” ignites the fire of chaos and fear feeds it until it becomes uncontrollably large and dangerous.
And all of it must come down to that mysterious stranger that ”vanishes in thin air.” Does he? Doesn’t he? How can we know for SURE?!
”He’s a ghost.”
”No such thing as a ghost. He’s a halfling – part man, part crow.”
Rumors and lies start spreading all around and everyone decides to take the course that’s of the least inconvenience to them. And all of this – for what? JUST TO KEEP THEIR OWN PASTS HIDDEN.
Yes. A LOT of happens IN the story, as it goes on. But let me also tell you what happens OUT of it.
You see it’s one thing to follow the characters – especially such strong and determined ones as Lexi – but it’s a whole another thing to actually BE them,to lose yourself in their struggles and actions that you experience the same changes that THEY go through. ALL OF THAT is what happens seemingly away from the hustle and bustle of the ongoing plot –
because it happens in oneself; it happens IN THE HEART AND THE MIND.
Lexi was someone who believed in what she did and did what she had ABSOLUTE AND UNWAVERING FAITH IN. She was so in touch with the gifts that the moor – the nature – had bestowed on her that it was a delightful experience to just BE ON THE JOURNEY WITH HER.
The way the whole story is structured and written is additive BEYOND MY EXPECTATIONS!! What started as a love affair with the cover soon made me realize that the TRUE beauty of this book lay deep within it’s heart, in it’s very core – and I could not have been more pleased!
Page after page, I could feel myself becoming more and more emotionally invested in Lexi and Cole’s relationship. Theirs was an attachment that was given time to flourish as naturally as a little rose bud – spreading it’s petalled wings delicately and unapologetically FOR ALL TO SEE AND ADMIRE AND FALL IN LOVE WITH IT!
COLE, though! I fell for him. Ached for him. Rooted for him. I did it ALL for him and Lexi. AND OH MY GOD! The more I fell for him, the more I feared that he would be taken away from me! 😦
BUT WAS HE?
WHAT HAPPENED EXACTLY – To the Near Witch that she had to unleash her wrath upon the village? To the people of Near who were so rigidly set in their – borderline idiotic – ways? To Lexi and Cole who were thrown into circumstances they SHOULD NOT have had to deal with so young?
AND ABOVE ALL –
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU ONCE YOU DECIDE TO PICK UP THIS GORGEOUS BOOK?
I’ll let you find all of that out o your own. But, always remember –
“Properly buried.” “Properly kept.” “That is the way with witches.” “And with all things.”
And disrespected bodies often give rise to vengeful bones that lay their roots deep and infect the land with their hatred and anger.
It’s strange – you are hurled into a new world, a different world.
From the moment your eyes fall on that first word your mind gets to work – trying to make it all seem natural to you. Trying to get you to SEE it, HEAR it, SMELL it. The book’s working hard for your attention and your mind’s it’s ally.
Even these two with their shared powers of persuasion can achieve precious little on their own because you simply won’t accept this world, this story as true – as a part of you – until something about it catches your heart.
Until it makes you laugh, makes you cry, makes you weep, and makes your scream – ”WHYYYYYYY!?!?!?!”
THAT’S what you expect as soon as you open that book and decide to travel through different dimensions of the writer’s mind. And then when it actually happens – when your head starts to make some sense of the story and your heart starts feeling something for it, it’s as if everything around you falls down and now it’s just you and this treasure of a book in your hands.
Starting a new story is like…..hmmmm….well….I could sit here all day and still won’t be able to find an example that even comes close to describe that feeling. Because there isn’t one. You CANNOT describe what happens to you in that moment. You just let it slither it’s way into your head. If it’s good enough, you’ll hand over the control to your heart. If not? Well, that’s what 1 star reviews are for, right?! xD
A book is not just a bundle of pages. It’s a gateway into the workings of multiple minds –
🖤 YOU – the reader, for you would interpret it YOUR OWN WAY. You will read it different, understand it different, feel it different. Your preconceptions about what the characters do (or don’t do), what their motivations are will have a major role in determining whether you’ll fall in love with it or it’ll join your DNF’d pile of shame. xD
🖤 THE WRITER – because of a very simple reason: it’s the product of their mind, afterall. Much of why what happens, happens in the story will have been affected by the writers’ own set of ideals – their sense of right and wrong, their dreams, their experiences.Everything that shaped them, helped them become who they are will have an effect on how they shape their characters, even if just a little bit.
🖤 THE CHARACTERS – A good book will leave you shook, to the point that you will start questioning your own sense of reality because to you, the characters of the story will be real – in your mind they will be flesh and blood. You will sympathize with them, laugh with them, cry with them, get mad at them. Most importantly – YOU WILL GET TO KNOW THEM. How they do what they do. AND WHY THEY DO IT! You will be privy to it ALL!
SO MUCH HAPPENS WHEN WE READ A BOOK. And it happens so smoothly that we don’t even notice it until we are done!
AHEM. Let me show you –
It’s time to go through it all – ALL OVER AGAIN! ❤ ❤
It shatters you from places that you didn’t even know existed in you. It overwhelms you. It twists your idea of what’s normal – because , suddenly, nothing is going to be the same anymore. You won’t get those texts that used to place a smile on your face every morning; you won’t go to those places where you used to sit down for hours and just….be yourselves together. The midnight calls, the roses, the makeups after little arguments – NOTHING.
Your ears will ring with a strange silence every minute of every hour of every day while the rest of the world around you goes on. Normally.
A breakup does all those things to you.
But a bad one does them more awfully, somehow.
My dear reader friends who are a frequent at my blog – I feel like, based on the content I read and write about, you know how someone like me – so obviously passionate and excited about everything – would have reacted to something so negative, so hurtful. So….so…disruptive.
Yes. I freaked the fuck out. Not because someone who had been in my life for so long a time was about to leave – juust like that. But because he was going to do so by igniting feelings that I have had the fortune of not being that familiar with.
and anger at my own lack of judgement.
I feel like I used to live in my own little world – imagining things BETTER than they actually were. Forgiving when strict action was needed, and NOT walking out when I had the chance to do that with a less messy aftermath.
Well. Now that it’s been a few months since that, things are starting to fall into place. A little bit at least.
I am back to doing things I love and writing is one of them. Would you believe me if I told you that I haven’t written a single word, ever since that last post I made? I felt like that flow of creativity and inspiration withered away as the stream of happiness stopped in it’s tracks and moved away from my heart.
I…..don’t know what else to say. I just had to pour it all out. Document the moment I decided to release every single fragment of negativity from within me and just…let it all go.
So…now you know why I have been so inactive lately. Both here AND everywhere else. Just getting back to normal, with high hopes of the new normal to be much more fun and positive AND loyal than the previous one.
Planning on dropping by your feed sooner than you’d expect.
Lots of love.
NOTE: I…umm…I seem to have gotten lots of comments while I was away and some of them are from last year. SO…don’t be surprised if you get replies from me on those. It’ll be super awkward to reply to them now but I’ll feel worse if I DON’T so…bear with me, please! ❤
[NOTE: I know the past couple of weeks I haven’t been able to respond to your lovely comments and catch up with your wonderful posts – believe me I MISS YOU GUYS! But there was just too much going on and I couldn’t manage everything very effectively. And what gladdens my heart and fills it with gratitude is that some of you STILL supported my blog and visited my posts – THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT! You guys are awesome and I am so very grateful to have met you! THANK YOU AGAIN! YOU GUYS ARE THE BESTEST EVERRR!!! LOVE YOU! ❤ ]
The guilt of not having posted according to my schedule for the past couple of weeks surrounded me. I felt a bit sad. I missed those lively interactions on my favorite blogs and their lovely posts, book-twitter – EVERYTHING.
And now, here I was, trying to find a good reason to go on with my blogging and reading schedule. I lacked proper motivation to open WordPress and ACTUALLY WRITE SOMETHING. My fingers hovered over the keyboard for a long time before it struck me – I wasn’t averse to writing, I was just irritated with the impossibly high standards I had set for myself as a blogger –
My posts MUST ALWAYS be visually appealing.
My gifs MUST ALWAYS be “out of this world.”
My reviews MUST ALWAYS be aesthetic.
All in all, my posts MUST ALWAYS be unique.
This demanding checklist left me overwhelmed which eventually burnt me out. For the last week, I had been trying and failing to catch up with my blogger friends because I was feeling STUCK in my own web of perfection.
If only I had realised that a post is – at it’s most basic – a record of your genuine thoughts. Of course, you can add lots of different flavours of visuals, effects, and, pretty graphics to it to make it even more enjoyable BUT it doesn’t ALWAYS need to be that way.
Sometimes you can just let all those ideas of perfection go and JUST WRITE YOUR HEART OUT, without any stress of all the work that’ll come AFTER it.
Whenever we try to chase THE IDEAL and make it the SOLE purpose, we eventually burn ourselves.
Yes, you are a blogger. But you are also a student, an employer, an employee, a reader, an author, a doctor, an engineer, a parent – you are SO MANY PEOPLE AT ONCE! And to fulfill every single one of those roles to satisfaction, you need to let yourself free from time to time or else it sucks the very joy of blogging out of it.
And that’s no fun at all.
As a blogger, the lack of motivation and reason to write and hit publish is one of the worst things ever! And to make sure that you don’t go through such a burnout – not at least on a regular basis – you just need to RELAX and allow yourself a few mistakes, a few let ups, a few missed deadlines, a few slackened standards.
Because your posts are not defined by those glitters – they are defined by their message, their content, their originality.
Allow yourselves to be a human who sometimes misses a few things, forgets others – there is fun in that. 😉
Ps: By now you must know why this post is so devoid of the usual flare. I hope you still liked it just the same. ❤
A deep breath and a forceful exhale – I hoped this would get rid of this heavy, toxic feeling in the middle of my chest – making it hard for me to breathe. The ground started to shake beneath my feet, nerves straining on the temples of my forehead – what was it that I was trying to remember – a happy feeling, perhaps?
When she – my mother – got sad and all those repressed feelings manifested themselves in the shape of a disease, I blamed myself.When the very air inside my own home seemed to turn foul at the very touch of my existence, I resented myself. And now that everyone is obviously happy without me, I despise myself.
Why is my family’s unhappiness almost ALWAYS tied with me?
Breaths start coming in shorter and shorter as I mentally will myself to move – run away from this toxic place that is my room, this house, the people in it.
I – Kaya – am a troubled soul. I am she who wakes up at 3 in the morning with misty eyes and a heavy heart.
I am she who spends night after night being envious of the stars just because they are so comfortably far away from here.
My house is a beautiful place full of beautiful things. I have so many pretty dresses, you know? More than you could ever dream of. I have food. I have books. I have shoes. I have money. So –
“What do I have to be depressed about?” everyone asks me, with a mock in their tone and tease in their eyes.
Yes. I have everything – everything except someone to understand me.
I want acceptance, not judgement. I want love, not resentment. I want you – my dear family – to stop hating me ”out of concern.”
Get me this one last thing and I will be happy, I promise.
I – who am neither an adult, nor a teenager – want to be understood; I – who am still in the process of figuring myself out – need you to be cooperative with me.
You are my family. I trust you.I fight for you.I love you. Unconditionally. Then why is it that when something goes wrong with ME – personally – all of your faith in me vanishes, all of your hopes and dreams of me come crashing down and I am reduced to A MERE FAILURE?
It’s already a very harsh world and I hope I am not asking for something extravagant in wishing that – when life blows me down – you will become my soft landing – not a bed of thorns – constantly reminding me with EVERY SINGLE PRICK where I fucked it all up!
Today this 21 year old has everything – everything except mental peace. She is fatigued. She is tired. She is weary of soul – not because of the world and the disappointments of life – but because her own turned their backs against her in the moment she needs help the most.
Believe me – your silent stares of judgement don’t go unseen. Your disappointed sighs don’t go unheard. I can taste it all in the very air and it’s suffocating me.
I might just run away and come back all renewed – morphed into the version of myself that you most want to see.
But before I can do that – I want you to see the REAL ME – with all my faults. And I want you to KNOW that every reaction is an answer, not a question – the questions were all yours. When you turned me away silently – you asked me (without words) some very basic questions:
“What even is your worth in this family? What is your importance?”
And my answer came out in every single retaliation, in every single shout, and in every single night I spent crying in my bedroom.
You have got me thinking of myself as a culmination of all the bad luck in the world – but of course, you do it all because you are “concerned”, aren’t you? Well – how can I argue with that!
I will be waiting, then – for another one of your verbal thrashing.
SERIOUSLY! Ask my boyfriend. He can write a fucking book on it. xD
I was out of ideas for a new post when I thought of writing about all the bookish experiences we have had together till date. And while I think of them as fond memories, his reaction was quite bitter-sweet. AS SOON AS I TOLD HIM THE IDEA I WAS GOING TO WORK ON, HE WAS MORE THAN WILLING TO CONTRIBUTE. xD In fact, he even chose the title for me – and..ummm..I don’t know how to feel about that, to be honest! *shrugs* xD
”AM I THAT BAD?” I asked, with misty eyes. But he was already writing an EXHAUSTIVE LIST of all the times I had been VERY FUCKING DIFFICULT ON HIM, as an obsessive reader. xD
So, at his most earnest request, I am going to share a few incidents with you so that, as he says, ”my cruelty can come to light.”SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN. UGH!
The Book Fair
Let’s go back to November 2019. We hadn’t been able to meet for a few weeks. His exams were going on and since he never starts studying until THE DATE-SHEET HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED (me too, actually xD), he needed some time to, well, cram it all up.
His days were swallowed completely by the exams and I was busy making lists upon lists of ALL THE BOOKS I WAS GONNA BUY AS SOON AS THE FAIR STARTS! *heart eyes*
He knew my plan of visiting the fair – OBVIOUSLY – but I hadn’t decided on a specific date yet. You see, mum and I usually went together so it had to be a day when she was free as well.
The arrived the last Sunday of November and I woke up to mumma already determined to go to the fair that day. I WAS SOO FUCKING EXCITED! I hopped out of my bed to get ready when my phone rang. Yep. It was him. Asking me to meet that day. Now, I was stumped. I wanted to meet him, OF COURSE – SO BADLY, BUTTTTTTT….
IT WAS THE LAST WEEK OF THE FAIR! HOW could I miss it? You tell me!
Well, I didn’t.
I re-arranged our meeting and went to the fair instead. He was angry at me FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT for abandoning him like that! To be honest, I now realize that his anger was justified – it had been almost a month and the date was LONGGG OVERDUE!!
So ALRIGHT! I am SORRY! You happy? PLEASE LET IT GOO NOWW! 😦 😦
Pride and Prejudice
Okay THIS ONE’S JUSTIFIED TO BE HONEST!
We hadn’t started dating yet. I liked him. A LOT. But I needed to make sure that he is THE ONE! 😉 So, one day, I started talking about my love for Jane Austen. He loves period dramas so I was sure that this was a topic he’d be interested in. BUT READING THE DAMN BOOK? Yeah, NO CHANCE.But I tried to get him to read Pride and Prejudice just the same. MAYBE..JUST MAYBE..HE WOULD GIVE IN? But, nope. Reading classics was not his cup of tea.
I was like,
Of course, it wasn’t HIS fault but I just – I WANTED HIM TO LIKE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!!! So, I decided to give it another try. You see, we used to suggest each other loads of movies and then discuss about them. And my next suggestion was – yes, you’ve guessed it right – THE 1995 PRIDE AND PREJUDICE MINI SERIES! ❤ ❤
He couldn’t say no – although he tried – because I watched HIS suggestions as well, whether I liked them or not. (He loves war fiction)
Well, he did watch it. For sure. He watched it and GUESS WHAT??!! HE CAME LOVE IT TOO! He also discussed the characters with me *heart eyes* and I WAS LIKE OKAY, YEAH, HE IS THE ONE!
But yes, I agree – until he watched the series, I gave him a REAL HARD TIME! Sorry not sorry about that tooo!!! 😉
We Were Liars
When I first read We Were Liars, I couldn’t control the tears. I couldn’t control the sadness. And I couldn’t stop talking about it with him. He got intrigued by my obsession for it and decided to borrow my copy and give it a read. I knew he would love it as well and that’s EXACTLY what happened! HE LOVED IT SOO FUCKING MUCH.
But I was troubled about one thing. You see, it had been weeks since I lent him the book but he was showing no intentions of returning the book! I mean – You read it. You loved it. NOW GIVE IT BACKKK!!! And one day, I mentioned this to him. He looked at me dead serious and laughed out loud. He started teasing me, declaring that it belonged to him now.
THE HORROR ON MY FACE MUST HAVE BEEN TOO OBVIOUS TO BE MISSED! I demanded the book back RIGHT THEN AND THERE. xD He pulled it out of his bag and confessed that he just wanted to see my reaction and smiled at me most lovingly. I blushed and blushed and blushed at my foolishness, my fickleness! xD
It’s been 4 years since that happened and he still teases me about it. *shrugs*
Well…THERE ARE MANY MANYYY more such incidences that I would LOVEEE to share with you but…some other time, yeah? 😉 ❤
For now, tell me – COULD YOU RELATE?!?! I AM SURE you agree with me about We Were Liars yeah?I MEAN…BORROWING A BOOK AND NOT GIVE IT BACK?!? BADDDD!!! *shrugs*
Okay…so now it’s your turn – any crazy experiences related to books you wanna sharee!??!!! 😉 ❤ ❤
”NO POSTS ON SUNDAYS!!” – probably the last sentence Mr Dursley ever uttered with joy!
High school finals+ my copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone hidden behind THAT BIG BULKY Biology book, which merely served as a decoy to fool mumma! ;p
I didn’t get to read Harry Potter as a kid but the magic was just the same even at seventeen – which was when I experienced this magical world for the first time (through the written word, I mean) I WENT CRAZYYY!! I would read it before going to bed – IN BED – before going to school – after school – THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY.Which was probably why I scored so less in Chemistry but that’s a different issue altogether! ;p
Having watched ALL of the movies as an 11 year old, I knew about the plot but NOTHING could have prepared me for the absolutely enchanting world that was waiting for me in those pages! OH THE MAGIC – it pulled me in FROM THE VERY FIRST SENTENCE. Rowling’s way of writing is just as gorgeous as the world she has created and THE FIRST TIME I JOURNEYED INTO IT, I wanted to lock the door behind me so that no one could come looking!
This one time, I took my copy of Order of The Phoenix into the bath – because mumma would’ve been FURIOUS had she seen me reading it during exams – and accidentally dropped it in water. I CRIED MY EYES OUT THAT DAY! But….it didn’t stop me from continuing the journey, of course.
My love affair with Harry Potter – the books AND the movies – is more than a decade old and with each passing re-read, it turns into something even more magical but BY GOD I WISH I COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND EXPERIENCE IT WITH FRESH EYES ALL OVER AGAIN!
I could talk on and on about how I used to imagine getting my very own Hogwarts letter, packing up, and leaving the boring muggle life behind me;how fascinated I was with their book-lists at the start of each term and how I jumped up and down with joy when I discoveredQuidditch Through the Ages, Tales of Beedle the Brad, and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them –
I could talk about all that RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW but that would take up WAY TOO MUCH SPACE so INSTEAD I have decided to choose the first Harry Potter book for the Bookish Obsessions for this month. AND IT’S GOING TO BE A HELL LOT OF FUN!!!
Soooooo??? ARE YOU READY to relive this magical book ONCE AGAIN, HUH??!?! 😉
“Bava, tell me about Krishna’s adventures again.”I asked for the hundredth time. He opened that big, red book yet again – full of pictures of a blue boy with a peacock feather on his head and mischief in his eyes. *heart eyes forever*
I was (still am) in love with this cosmic boy. But even more than that, I was in love with the way my grandpa recounted all his stories – his wrinkled eyes gleaming with knowledge, experience, and magic.
He was my Gandalf – taking me on one adventure after another. Those days I used to spend at my grandparents’ during the summer and winter vacations were THE BEST AND THE MOST MAGICAL OF TIMES! And even today, whenever he visits, we talk about all those stories because even though I have heard them a hundred times, they still don’t get old – not when he is the narrator.
The things that I don’t like when my parents say, I listen to when my granddad says.
And then there was this little boy who witnessed his parents treating his grandpa like shit – like he didn’t matter at all. The way he ate – spilling the food here and there – because you see his fingers had begun to tremble.90 years in this godforsaken world does that. It’s completely normal but apparently, the boy’s parents didn’t think that.
The old man was weak of eyes, ears, and knees but all of that didn’t seem to matter to the boy’s parents.
They made him eat on the floor – out of a dirty earthenware – while the rest of the family dined on the table.It was too painful to imagine his eyes full of tears and heart full of despair as he retraced, in his mind, every single step of his parenting- wondering where he got it all wrong; wondering if it was’t all his fault that his children turned out to be so uncaring and selfish.
It’s baffling, isn’t it? The very man who raised them, made them capable of earning a living, moving through the world undeterred – was bring treated like the dirt of their shameless shoes.
But kids see it all. We think that they are too young to notice anything and ACTUALLY THINK about such issues but they aren’t.They notice everything, keep it in their hearts. I know I did – things that although I cannot disclose here – they did leave an impact too great for a little heart to bear.
And the grandson – observing this injustice and hatred – took it to himself to do what he could. I don’t know if he did so with an intention to make his parents realise their harsh mistake or just out of the purity of his heart, but he took to fashioning a bowl – similar to the one his grandpa was made to eat out of.
Naturally, his parents – upon seeing this – inquired why he was doing so, to which he replied – ”It’s for you to eat in when you get older.”
Fairy tales – yes even Grimm Brothers’ – are so optimistic that his parents immediately realised their mistake and apologised to their father/in-law. But in the real world, that’s not the case. Here, you see similar things happen day in and day out and nobody even gives a single thought about their actions and how they hurt people – even the ones they ACTUALLY LOVE!
How can you even do that – DELIBERATELY HURTING YOUR LOVED ONE? Doesn’t it feel like something sharp in your heart?Are you able to fall asleep peacefully at night KNOWING that there is someone lying awake, staining their pillow wet because of what YOU said or did?
So, it’s time for some self-reflection, don’t you think?
Because remember that your kids, the people around you – they all notice how you treat others and although they might not comment on it right away or even express their displeasure, THEY WILL – consciously or not – TREAT YOU THE EXACT SAME WAY.
You get what you deserve.
And this little story very clearly reminds us of this truth, don’t you think? ❤
Where do you go to escape from yourself, from your own mind?
No matter how far you run you can never leave that small voice in your heart behind – the guiding angel that’s present in all of us – showing us the most truthful mirror ever – that shows us just as we really are.
All of us are hiding something – some dark truth, some humiliation, some desperation. And the tailor’s apprentice – the main character of our story – was too. Falling on hard times, he grew so desperate for money that he reported to killing someone! The Jew he decided not to believe when he said he only has eight farthings – before leaving the world – uttered the following words:
“The Bright Sun Will Bring It To Light”
Although the apprentice didn’t pay much attention to his words then – carried them in his heart as he moved forward in life, married, and had children.
But the guilt was festering in his heart – something dark and malignant – at a rapid rate. He couldn’t see it yet but there was not a single day when his mind didn’t decide to torment him with the memory of his horrible crime. The flashes of those images – killing a man, dragging him to hide behind a tree, going on as if nothing happened – must have played horrible tricks on his mind.
On one particular morning, as he was waiting by the window for his wife to bring him coffee,he saw sunlight dancing in the liquid, jogging up memories of the event he never really forgot and before he knew it, he uttered the same words as Jew did when he died, in front of his wife.
A woman as she was – a woman in the grip of curiosity – she MADE HIM CONFESS THE SECRET BEHIND THAT SENTENCE.
She was dumbfounded, for sure. And her need to protect her husband was great indeed, which is why she promised never to utter those words ever again. But, it seems that her need for gossip was greater. *shrugs*
First she only confided in her friend with this larger than life, closer to death secret. But if Pretty Little Liars has taught us anything, it’s that –
”Two can keep a secret IF one of them is dead.”
-which, alas, wasn’t the case here. And very soon, the apprentice’s dirty laundry was out in the open for the whole town to see and condemn him for. It’s amazing, isn’t it? How subtle the threads were that lead to his downfall!
Does time heal all wounds?
Yes. It does. But it doesn’t hide the one who afflicted those wounds. The Jew was the victim here and he got justice – the law of nature saw to that. And the apprentice – guilt ridden as he was – was made to pay his dues.Because his true nature demanded it.
I have found from experience that the human soul isn’t made to carry as big a burden as comes with guilt. No matter how big or small, we always have that urge to atone. To make peace with whoever we wronged.
I was a rebellious teenager. Doing things just because my parents didn’t like them gave me joy. Was it joy? (NOPEEEEEE) Or just an effort to look cool? (100000%) I don’t know. But yes, I frequently disobeyed my mum and dad. My teachers. Everyone who dared tell me the distinction between right and wrong.
And one day I suffered because of it. My parents were called. I had to sit at home for a week – listening to them bash me, for valid reason, of course. But I didn’t care.I spoke back. Hurled at them the meanest words you could possibly imagine. They were hurt. Especially my father.
A day passed. Two did. A week. But no one spoke to me. I felt deaf. Irritated. Angry. At myself. At everyone.
Finally, I came to the realisation that it was the guilt of what I had said – of the fact that I had hurt them with my words – that wasn’t letting me rest. And it wasn’t until I apologised and they forgave that my heart found peace.
Such a little incident, isn’t it?
And yet, guilt overpowered me just as it overpowered the apprentice, even though the gravity of the situation was decidedly different in both these cases.
No doubt he must have felt light as a feather after confessing to his wife. In those precious few moments he must have felt the kind of freedom he couldn’t for many, many years! And hidden even in his condemnation was his joy – that he didn’t have to live a lie any longer; that the weight of the secret, of the hurt he inflicted was off his chest now.
There is satisfaction in that.
In the end,no matter how deep you choose to bury your mistakes, no matter how many blind eyes you turn,the sun’s bright rays of truth always bring it to light.
So, remember dear readers – read your books; eat your veggies; and confess your wrongdoings – no matter how small. And anyway, there is no bigger misdeed than hurting someone to an extent that it causes a crack deep in their hearts!
Go within yourselves – dig out every trace of guilt that’s been ailing your beautiful heart and turn it into a dove – with a little apology and lots of love.
There are soooo many blogs that I ADORE but loving them comes at a price – a delightful price – THE INCREASE OF MY TBR PILE AT AN EXPONENTIAL RATE. My fingers shake as I click on their posts because although I know that their reviews will be groundbreaking-ly amazing, they will also force me to add the books to my own list which will complicate things for the already pitiable state of my ARCs. ;p
BUT….that still doesn’t dissuade me from reading them and loving them and then dying under the soul crushing weight of my tbr. AH, WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!
NOT-SO long story short, I have compiled a list of beautifully worded reviews of books (by these awesome bloggers) to read in the month of September! YAYYYY!!!
Take your pick! Take your pick! There are plenty to go around. 😉
The Symposium by Plato : Lashaan read a Greek classic and we all died because of his review’s profoundness. AHHHH!!! IT WAS SO SO BEAUTIFUL, you guys! I felt like reaching through the screen, grabbing the book and start reading it ASAP! But now, I have to wait for Amazon to deliver my copy instead. NO FAIR!!! 😦
Lobizona by Romina Garber: I recently discovered Cielo’s gorgeous blog and instantly fell in love with her writing. The way she writes reviews is JUST SO ADORABLE, I AM TELLING YOU! And this gorgeous review is THE PERFECT EXAMPLE of that! ❤
Chaos Vector by Megan E. O’Keefe : Mads is THE SCI-FI QUEEEEEN!!!! When she recommends, YOU LISTEN! And she is head over heels in love with this book, the second in The Protectorate series! AND I AM GOING TO OBEY HER AND START READING THIS SERIES because this review is a masterpiece and I LOVE IT, OKAY?And you gotta love it too!! ❤
The Ashes of London by Andrew Taylor : Proxy shared this absolutely gorgeous book in one of her Friday Firsts post and I instantly fell in love with it. SUCH CHAOTIC BEAUTY! ME LIKEYYY!!!! And you will toooo – just..visit her post and fall in love with it, okie?!
Utopia Avenue by David Mitchell : Although David Mitchell’s Cloud Atlas was already on my tbr for this year, it wasn’t until I read Wakizashi’s gorgeous review that I actually got excited for this author’s works! I am not dying to read both Cloud Atlas AND this one AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, all because of this review! Don’t miss it. 😉
The Memory Police by Yōko Ogawa : It was Star’s beautiful review that opened my eyes to even more interesting aspects of this book other than it’s cover (which was what attracted me initially) You are going to get sold on this review I AM TELLING YOU!!! It’s awesome, and the premise of this book? Mind-blowing!
You Had Me At Hola by Alexis Daria : I would not have known about this book had it not been for Priyasha’s review AND I WILL FOREVER BE THANKFUL TO HER – because now I can adorn my shelf with this beauty! AHHHHH!!! YOU GOTTA READ HER REVIEW TO FIND OUT HOW AWESOME THIS STORY IS! ❤
How To Disappear by Gillian McAllister : Stephen writes absolutely amazing reviews, this must be common knowledge right? RIIIIGHT? Because if it isn’t then what the hell are you doing??!?! GO GO READ THIS ONE AND ADD THE BOOK TO YOUR TBR BECAUSE IT SOUNDS AWESOME! Thriller lovers – you DON’T want to miss out on How To Disappear, I am telling you!
Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer : I have been waiting for this one to come out for EVERRR!!! And when I read Alexandra’s review, it took EVERY SINGLE FIBRE OF MY BEING TO NOT RUSH OUT THE DOOR AND BUY THE BOOK RIGHT THEN AND THERE! Yep, it was THAT good!
Seven Devils BY Laura Lam and Elizabeth May : A beautiful book made even more so by Octavia’s amazing review! I knew I HAD to read it as soon as I saw the cover and the urgency grew by leaps and bounds when I read this review!
First Touch by Teyla Branton : A fantastic review by Purvasha – one of my new fav bloggers! This seems like one of those hidden gems I probably would not have found out about if it hadn’t been for this amazing blogger. PLEASE GIVE THIS REVIEW ALL THE LOVE! ❤
Every Single Shakespeare Play EVER! : Naemi’s posts are so gorgeously written that I feel like crying EVERY SINGLE TIME I VISIT HER BLOG! And this one is no different. HER ONE LINE REVIEWS of Shakespeare’s plays are so cuuutteee that I DEMAND YOU GO AND READ THEM! ❤
A Thousand Beginnings and Endings by Allen Oh : Oh, Oh, OHHH MY GODD!! I AM SURPRISED THAT ALMOST NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT THIS GORGEOUS BOOK! I am glad Kay is though! Her reviews – as most of you already know – are absolutely brilliant and I am so glad she decided to share her thoughts on this beautiful book with all of us., YOU GOTTA READ THIS POST RIGHT NOW!
MINI REVIEWS – Deck Of Omens & With The Fire On High : It’s one of Marie’s reviews! You know what that means right?! It’s full of beautiful graphics and meaningful thoughts. I swear every time I read one of her posts I FALL IN LOVE! She writes some of THE MOST gorgeous reviews everrr!!!!!
The Good For Nothings by Danielle Banas : I am pretty sure I would NOT have known about this one if I hadn’t read livia’s amazing review of it! SERIOUSLY THIS BOOK SOUNDS ALL KINDS OF WEIRD AND AWESOME!!! AND I AM DEFINITELY ADDING IT TO MY TBR! Are you?! 😉
Pride by Ibi Zoboi : Everyone who knows me knows that I am a Pride and Prejudice addict. So NATURALLY I added it to my tbr as soon as I saw it on Amazon. But I am SO FUCKING GLAD I DID NOT BUY IT THEN. Because, according to Kate’s honest and amazing review, this one’s rather MEH! So I’d urge you give Kate’s review a good read before you got for this book, yeah? I included it because you need to know what to avoid as well, OBVIOUSLY! *rolls eyes*
Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston : This book has been stalking me. I see it at least thrice a week on the internet! I AM NOT KIDDING. I was actually excited to read it before it started to feel like it was haunting me or something. But the excitement is back, I am glad to say – ALL BECAUSE OF Gianna’s BEAUTIFUL REVIEW! Thank you so much, hon! I LOVE YOU FOR THIS GORGEOUS POST! ❤
The Grishaverse Trilogy BY Leigh Bardugo : Macey + the written word = ART! I AM NOT KIDDING! She writes so beautifully that I just want to keep reading forever… WHY, MACEY! WHY DID YOU SHORTEN YOUR MUSINGS ON THIS ONE?!?!?! I loved it to pieces! ❤ You guys – GO. READ THIS GORGEOUS POST. Now. PLEASE?
Drowned Country by Emily Tesh : Look at that cover! It’s pretty, right?Not prettier than the review, though! It was very hard to pick only ONE of Lisa’s reviews since I adore every single thing she writes. BUT I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS SERIES NOW. I have decided to pick this one up. And you will too as soon as you read this review! ❤
The Night Swim by Megan Goldin : I requested and was rejected for this book. But Tessa wasn’t THANK GOD! At least I got to live the story – even if just a little bit – through her beautiful review! THIS ONE IS A MUST READ, YOU GUYS! And if you don’t believe me, then fine. YOU WILL BE CONVINCED ANYWAY ONCE YOU READ THIS POST. HAHAHAHA!!! *evil laughter*
Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas : I will read any book that our bee queen suggests. And this one sounds like the perfect tear jerker! And E has reviewed it most perfectly. YOU GOTTA READ THIS POST RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
The Escape Room by Megan Goldin : Sarah is back with her awesome reviews and I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER!!! This one by the author of The Night Swim seems like THE PERFECT THRILLER with an exciting premise. I am SO SO excited to read this. YOU WILL BE TOO IF YOU’LL JUST DO YOURSELVES A FAVOR AND HEAD OVER TO SARAH’S AMAZING REVIEW, YEAH?! 😉 ❤
The Backstagers vol. 2 by James Tynion IV : I can’t tell you much about this book – I will leave that honor with the royal duchesses of the blogosphere. What I WILL tell you though is that YOU SHOULD NOT MISS OUT ON THIS ONE – it sounds way too much fun!! ❤
The One That Got Away by Egan Hughes : I never knew I would end up loving thrillers SO MUCH! And Jules’ reviews are one of the reasons why! SHE CONSTANTLY RERADS AMAZING, SPINE-CHILLING THRILLERS that make me want to drop everything else! This one was just like that. You’ll know when you read this review. It sounds like a must read! ❤
Star Daughter by Shveta Thakrar : I had been SOOO excited for this one to release. The Book Twitter seemed to be blowing up with anticipation and the gorgeous cover only added to it! And then I read Ahana’s review! DAMNNN!!! I FELL IN LOVEEEE WITH IT! And you will toooo!! Just give it a read. It’s honest and it’s BEAUTIFUL! ❤
A Ruined Girl by Kate Simants : Yeah! AS IF THAT GORGEOUS COVER WASN’T ENTICEMENT ENOUGH! Kelly had to kill us with her review as well!! Honestly, sometimes I feel like you go out of your way to write awesome reviews JUST TO TEASE ME BECAUSE…I JUST…*ugly sobbing* I am…*more ugly sobbing*…I GOTTA READ THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!!
A Declaration of The Rights of Magicians by H.G. Parry : Kat’s reviews are one of my absolute favorites! AND NOW THAT SHE IS OFFICIALLY BACK TO BLOGGING, I am sooo excited to start hoarding ALLLL the books that she recommends – starting with this one. It’s absolutely gorgeous and going by Kat’s wonderful, wonderful review, it’s contents are no less wonderful! Visit the post to find out more! ❤ ❤
An Unreliable Man’ by Jostein Gaarder : I LOVE N’s reviews soo much! They are short, sweet, to-the-point, and beautifully written. She always reviews hidden gems and when I read this post, I knew I had to make time for this book this year! IT SOUNDS UNMISSABLE! Please give this post a read and show N’s amazing review the love it soooo deserves!
Fifty Fifty by Steve Cavanagh : Nicki’s reviews are always a delight to read. They are on point and clearly written. I TRUST HER JUDGEMENT IN BOOKS and so I will be adding this one to my tbr! And if you don’t want to miss out on some amazing reads, you better go and check her review out as well! Just sayin’. 😉
Spill Simmer Falter Wither by Sara Baume : WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH THIS AWESOME BLOGGER? Emer writes her reviews sooo passionately that they never fail to impress me. EVERY SINGLE WORD IN THIS REVIEW IS BRIMMING WITH HER LOVE FOR THIS BOOK AND I AM 10478397567507809248% IN LOVE WITH IT! You better go and check it out for yourselves as well!! ❤
Hinton Hollow Death Trip by Will Carver : Julie is ONE OF MY MOST FAVORITE BLOGGERS EVERRR!!! She is kind, sweet, AND WRITES AMAZING REVIEWSSS!!! A few more and I might have to make a separate list for her recommendations! 😉 This one was just as awesome. The book’s premise is soo interesting and Julie’s awesome review seals the deal!!!! ❤
Night Of The Mannequins by Stephen Graham Jones : Reading this review, I was so angry at myself! WHY THE HELL WASN’T I FOLLOWING Tammy ALREADY?!?!??! This review is BRILLIANT! I LOVE THIS SO SOOO MUCHHH!!!! And you gotta read it tooo!!! I have already the book to my tbr – now it’s YOUR turn. ❤
What If It’s Us by by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera : If you guys aren’t already following Poulami THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! She writes THE LOVELIEST REVIEWS EVERRR!!! And this one is the proof – soo cutteee!!!! LOVE IT SO MUCHH! And you will too, I PROMISEEE!!! *heart eyes*
AND NOW FOR SOME AMAZING LISTS!!!! YAYYY!!!
BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS | STANDALONE BOOKS EDITION : Sofii’s blog is the one to visit whenever you want to soothe your eyes BECAUSE HER POSTS ARE ALWAYS THE PRETTIEST! I mean I don’t even know how she does it! DAMNN!!!! And here she is, with another one of beautiful posts FULL OF BOOK RECS! What more can you even waaaaaant??!?!?!?
Deat Endless Streaming Services, Please Aadapt : Gemma is here with her list of beautiful books that you probably did NOT know about! AND YOU ARE GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE SO SOOO PRETTYYYY!!! *heart eyes* Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful list with us, hon! 🙂
Railhead by Philip Reeve : The amazing Sabrina at Paper Plane Nomad has generously shared with a list of reasons why she adored Railhead and I AM SO SO GLAD SHE DID. Honestly, everything she writes is just…I LOVE IT, OKAY? And you will be missing out if you don’t read this review as soon as you can. READ IT NOW! ❤
Women in SFF – 10 Fav Female Authors : Alex, the writer behind the awesome website – MARTIAN CHRONICLE – has compiled a list of female science fiction authors and I am 100000000% here for it! Added almost all of the books featured in this one. Science ficiton lovers, you better go and check this one out ASAP. ❤
Contemporary Romances you GOTTA read! : This list by Alex features some lesser known but ABSOLUTELY AMAZING romances that YOU JUST CANNOT LET SLIP THROUGH YOUR RADA!!! *furiously adds all of them to my tbr*
Books That Should Be Adapted Into Netflix Shows/Movies : Are you following Hsinju’s Lit Blog yet? Because if you aren’t then you NEED TO CORRECT THAT ASAP! WHY? Well, apart from the fact that Hsinju is one of the sweetest bloggers around?Well, you can just go and read this amazing post listing some of the awesomest Sapphic books that YOU NEED TO READ and the Netflix directors NEED TO ADAPT. 😉
My Favorite Book Covers for Each Color : Allison is here with her minimalistic post featuring GORGEOUS BOOK COVER in (almost) every color!! *heart eyes* And it is JUST TOO PRETTY FOR WORDS. I am sure you are going to find some awesome books for your September TBR in this post! ❤
WOOOHOOO!!! SOOO MANYY AWESOME BOOKS!!! I am so fucking proud of this list! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE REVIEW IS A GEM! So you better read them – you owe it to yourselves – YOU ARE SO SO AWESOME and you deserve beautiful books! 😉 ❤
I really hope you liked this one! I have been compiling these the whole month!
So….which ones are you adding to your tbr?! Have you already read some of these? Do you recommend? Do you wanna add to the list?!