[MY BOOKISH OBSESSIONS] Romeo and Juliet – Not REALLY in Love? //A RANT + Discussion//

It seems to me that the most common notion around Romeo and Juliet is that they were not REALLY in love; that it was just a result of their raging hormonesa pure infatuation.

I have to ask, what love is NOT based on a mutual desire to be with each other? IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE?! It seems to me that this is said purely for argument’s sake. ”They were NOT in love” makes you sound a bit cooler maybe? MORE ADULT? More in control of what you call ”foolish urges”?

Love is subjective – it can mean different things to different people. And you need to take into account the setting, the nature of the medium through which Romeo and Juliet’s love is portrayed and ,of course, their age. Don’t tell me that you never knew any couple in your teenage years whose romance – although started as soppy and rather cringey – later blossomed into a complete and mature love?

Passion is the same at any age. And if the argument is based on the fact that they seemingly fell in love at first sight, well DID YOU REALLY EXPECT SHAKESPEARE TO WASTE SCENES UPON SCENES ON COURTING? Would that have satisfied you? And more importantly, would that have made for an interesting read, do you think? A play is a play for a reason – it skips over the parts that would normally happen in a novel, for a very obvious reason – NOBODY wants to watch those normal and rather boring tidbits happening on a stage. WE JUST WANT THE GOOD PARTS. And that’s precisely why most of Shakespeare’s couples seem to fall in love so soon – sometimes within a matter of hours. THAT DOES NOT MAKE THEIR LOVE ANY LESS REAL.

Another point that ”mature” readers seem to make is that most of the decisions that Romeo and Juliet make throughout the play are childish. WELL, OF COURSE THEY ARE CHILDISH! Juliet is 13 for God’s sake. And Romeo is still just a teenager as well – DO YOU EXPECT THEM TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT EVERY SINGLE PRO AND CON OF EVERY SINGLE DECISION? I don’t.

And anyway, it’s not a childish play. It’s a play ABOUT childishness. It’s a play about a pure notion that a passionate love can surpass anything – even hatred. And it DOES. The families are left wrecked with guilt in the end. Tell me, wasn’t their hatred a bit childish as well? Didn’t they take it too far, way too far?! There was absolutely NO NEED – NO NEED whatsoever – for the family feud to continue. And yet it did. Their hate stemmed from reasons lost to time. WASN’T THAT CHILDISH AS WELL?

Romeo and Juliet’s love was pure, passionate, and naive – and it could have been SO MUCH MORE. That’s what makes their story even more tragic – two lovers with a rather happy life ahead of them doomed to die. WHY? Because their families couldn’t put aside their stupid hatred.

In the end, if anyone was REALLY childish – it was R+J’s parents because THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ADULTS! Their children’s actions are justifiable but their own? NOT A CHANCE.

For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

I am sorry I just HAD to say it! So many adult fans out there who think they are somehow above the beautiful, if a bit naive, love story that Romeo and Juliet shared!

What about you though?
Do you think theirs wasn’t a real love?
What’s your stance?


40 thoughts on “[MY BOOKISH OBSESSIONS] Romeo and Juliet – Not REALLY in Love? //A RANT + Discussion//

    1. EXACTLYYYY!!! I mean…sure they were a bit mature but HELLOO!!! Teenager alert! You cannot judge someone for acting their age! duh!!! THANK YOU SOO MUCH, Tessa! I am glad you enjoyed reading it! πŸ˜‰ ❀ ❀ <Β£ ❀

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  1. I actually made a post (kind of) about this at some point (it was romeo and juliet so yeah) but I basically laid out what happened and like THEY ARE LITTLE IDIOTS but also they’re children BUT LIKE ALSO HOW ARE CHILDREN THIS DUMB like I don’t think they were in love, like mature love, but they were definitely in a type of love- romantic love- but not the kind that would last?? But I personally love this play to pieces bc it’s a reminder that you need to make decisions with a clear mind, and not through passion, because nothing good comes from decisions made by emotions (like look at them. they’re dead) oh and also according to my lit teacher the entire play happened through the span of a week??

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    1. Hahahah!!! THEY AREEE!!! Idiots for sure but as you said, they were poor (not so much) little (YESS) children! SOOO NAIVE! SOOO OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY, as most are at that age! xD xD
      yes! Theirs was not a mature love, to be sure. but you know Beck..I kinda think that with the level of passion they bore for each other, it could very well have grown into something much more beautiful! But alas! They never got the opportunity! 😦

      OH YES! DEFINITELY AGREE WITH YOU THERE – its a perfect reminder of the fact that one needs to examine their thoughts with a calm and collected mind before acting on them! πŸ™‚ ❀ ❀

      LOVED YOUR COMMENT, hon, AS ALWAYSSS!!! ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

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  2. I love your passion for this πŸ™‚ I’ve never doubted that Romeo and Juliet’s love was real. Also, people grew up fast in those days, and there was no concept of the teenager – so they were kids but when they fell in love, they became adults.

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    1. yesss!!! They did. I mean they got married like…so young! Surely that needs to be taken into account as well while reading MOST of Shakespeare’s plays.OH MY GOD EXACTLY! Falling in love gave matured them to a certain extent – and it’s just..tragiuc that they couldn’t carry their beautiful relationship further!

      THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, N! Your comments are a delight to read, AS ALWAYS! ❀ ❀

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  3. YASSS. YASSSS. YASSSSS!!!! I APPLAUD YOU. THIS IS BRILLIANT! I get so annoyed by people who go on about the instalove of R&J and the fickle nature of Romeo with regard to Rosalind? Rosaline? You know the one! Anyway how he was so in love with her and then two seconds later he only had eyes for our girl Juliet. This play is about teenagers who fall hard and fast, SO FREAKING WHAT! IT IS A GREAT PLAY! And absolutely, the heads of the two families were equally as childish. Also, I loved Leo in the film soooo much. Saw it in the cinema as a teenager…yes. I’m that old πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜… but my god did I crush on him soooo hard! And oof, the soundtrack to that film. BRILLIANT. I STILL HAVE THE CD πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I miss the 90s…

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    1. Rosaline! OH MY GOD I LAUGHED AT THE WAY Romeo talked about her in the beginning! xD xD xD And you know I don’t think he was fickle..I think with Rosaline it was courtly love, pushed further be their parents as well, I think? But with Juliet, it was all heart, all passion – pure and without anyone’s influence! I think that plays a great part as well, right?


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  4. Well I’ve always been a cynic even when I was a teenager and I totally agree with you that their actions always make sense based on the characters but I could never help but think especially at the ending if they had just exercised a little more patience they could have taken off together πŸ™‚
    But then I’m not sure the play would have lived so long or had the impact it did so double edged sword there!

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    1. I absolutely agree with you, Gemma. I mean their fateful end could definitely with a little bit of clear-minded thinking but then, at their age, teenagers are just…so enamored with the idea of living and dying together – that sort of thing you know! xD xD And hot-headed as they were, they didn’t bother to see past their passion, which they should have of course!

      OH YES! Definitely, I mean… the play wouldn’t have touched as many hearts as it does now if…the ending was…well..a bit…practical? πŸ˜‰


  5. I think that it’s strange we don’t accept love as it was in Shakespeare but we’re ready to accept any other form of toxic, spontaneous see-them-fall-for-them love. Whether it was a passionate desire that they shared or a deep feeling love, it doesn’t matter right? It was whatever form of love that was characteristic of them! Everyone has their own way of being in love. What’s love to me may not be to the next person and what’s love to them may not be love to me. Isn’t that what the point is? That it exists in so very many forms and that it’s important to respect it in any form that it arrives. That it’s beautiful no matter how it manifests.

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    1. YESS! Oh my god you have phrased it perfectly Ahana! IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT WE THINK – what matters is what THEY believed – and they were definitely convinced of their adoration for each other! THAT’S WHAT MATTERS, RIIIIGHTT?!😍

      Awwww! I JUST LOVE THIS COMMENT OKAY?! I love youuuuu!! πŸ˜˜πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‰πŸ¦‹

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    1. AWWW!!! THANK YOU SOO MUCH, Sean! I am SOOO glad that you liked it! Thank you soo very much again for your lovely comment. πŸ™‚ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

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  6. Lol, you make some really good points! R+J isn’t my favorite of Shakespeare, but I never really focused too much on their ages because I figured the rules of romance, courtship, a marriage were just different back then πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ I was always mad at the continuous yet useless feud πŸ˜‚ So much drama, and for what LOL. Great post!

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    1. YESSSS!!! They used to get married soo young..so building up an argument on the basis of their love not being REAL ENOUGH because of their age is just STUPID!

      EXACTLY! I mean…WHYY?!?!?! So the hatred is THAT STRONG that even your servants engage in a duel every chance they get?! xD xD xD

      Thank you SOOO much, Azia! I am so very glad you liked the post! ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

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  7. Lololol I thoroughly enjoyed your rant πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Personally, I never doubted that Romeo and Juliet loved each other, but I did think they acted like irrational idiots. Even at 13, I would not have been willing to die for a guy I’d only just met… But I never blamed them for their decisions, because like you said, it’s the adults who are most at fault here! If it hadn’t been for their stupid family feud, their children would still be alive!! That being said, my favorite thing about Romeo and Juliet will probably never be the love story, but Juliet’s nurse, whose reaction to Juliet’s fake death is just one of the most hilarious scenes I have ever come across 😁

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    1. xD xD xD wELL, I really can’t blame you for thinking that! I mean..even I was annoyed by it..but then I realized at such a young age, with no one to guide them in the right direction and of course, with threats of marriage to a dude double your age, you kinda…well…feel all lost and panicky! I think that’s what happened with them AND IT WAS ALL THEIR PARENTS’ FAULT! UGH! SO ANNOYING!

      Hahahaha!!! OH MY GOD YESSS!!! Gotta love the overly-dramatic nanny! πŸ˜‰ xD xD xD

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    1. YESSS!!!! xD xD xD EXACTLY! I just..in this instant, I don’t have that much trouble with the insta-love because well…the message, the way it’s been handled, the delivery ALL OF IT IS JUST GORGEOUS! ❀ ❀ ❀


  8. IMO, it was real for them at a time and that all that matters. If they lived it could have blossomed into something more mature or maybe they would fall in love with other people but it wouldn’t change that it was the strongest feeling they had at the time.

    Because they were children and unexperienced and everything they felt was the most emotion they experienced ever since it was their first and it doesn’t make it dumb and childish just even more tragic. Children’s feelings are still feelings and the tragedy is in the fact that they weren’t allowed the teenage first love dynamics due to the feud (and Juliet’s father wanting to marry her off to some old ass prick 😬😬) and instead were forced to act out adult roles which simply was too big for them.

    That being said, Romeo was a dumbass picking up fights and getting himself banished… Juliet just wanted a bae that wasn’t old enough to be her father. The girl deserved better.

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    1. You know this is the THIRD time I am writing this comment….since the first two didnt go through! CURSE YOU WP! They were SOOOO well written! πŸ˜”πŸ˜”

      So…as I was SAYIIINNGGG….I totally agree with youuu…..their love could have been SOO MUCH MORE if only they had gotten a bit of a chance…which they didnt BECAUSE OF THEIR PARENTS STUUUUUPID HATE. UGH. 😑😑

      Yesss…I mean sure they were a bit naΓ―ve but SO WHAT?!? That does NOT make their feelings any less REAL! If anything they were MORE intense than anyone else…at any other age!

      Yess…they were snatched of their carefree teenage years because of their parents’ carelessness and I CANNOT FORGIVE THAT!

      Hahahah….I agree. He shouldnt have gone and exposed himself the way he did AND WITH A MURDER TOO!??!Come on dude you already have soo many difficulties to face and you are just making it even more severe for yourself…πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

      seriously! She just wanted a NORMAL relationship with a guy HER AGE. WHATS SO WRONG WITH THAT!? And is it any wonder that she felt she didn’t have anyone else to rely on…since everyone was trying to get her to marry some older dude?!?

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      1. Yeah, WP is a mean girl, I know…

        Yes, they might have been naive and inexperienced but teenagers experience things much more intensely than adults and we treat it as childish and dismiss it but it’s not. It may be all because of hormones and experiencing ‘first’ of everything but that doesn’t mean it’s not real or important. Teenagers have agency too!!

        You know what other shitty thing about her age I learned somewhere? Back then 13 y/o was the last moment your parents could decide who you marry. You turn 14 and you get to decide yourself.


  9. SAY IT LOUDERRRRR FOR DA PEOPLE IN DA BACK!!!! Could not agree with you more, I think they were definitely in love, for all of the reasons you highlighted! Some of the most beautiful words about love are in this play, and I’m here for it. “Love is smoke raised with the fume of sighs…”

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    1. Yesssss……there are just soo many beautiful snippets of poetry and phrases in this play that I just….I CANNOT HEAR A BAD WORD FOR IT. EVER. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

      THANK YOUU SOOO MUCH, Macey! I am soo very glad that you liked the post. πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ€©πŸ€©πŸ˜πŸ˜‡

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  10. Hahahahaha this was fun to read. Clearly, you believe strongly in this love that they had and it’s nice to see your arguments to defend it. I’ve read this play way too long ago to be able to give an honest opinion on it with my life experiences now but I look forward to the day I finally go through Shakez’ stuff and have a definitive view of his work and stories! πŸ˜€ Great discussion post though, Rain. πŸ˜‰


    1. Well..of course…because although it can be argues that they were naΓ―ve and all…but then THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BEEE. Teenagers are just soo enamored with the idea of living and dying together! Its just…..the fault lies with the adults for not giving enough attention to their thoughts and feelings…and getting soo consumed by their STUUUUPID hate. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

      Well….I will look forward to your posts and reviews when you do read good ol’ Shakesy boy! 🀣🀣🀣🀣

      THANK YOU SOOO MUCH Lashaan! I am soo glad you liked it. πŸ€©πŸ€©πŸ˜‡

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  11. Yeah, I definitely think it was all the adults that were acting childish in this story, but maybe that’s the point. I think his characters often came out as over dramatic and childish–but therein lies the drama LOL. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yess..oh my go I agree with you SOO much. The whole point of a play IS TO PORTRAY DRAMA DUH! So its obvious that there is going to be…A LOT…..of it there! πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

      I absolutely LOVED your take on this, Lisa! 😘😘🀩❀

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  12. I would like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this website. I’m hoping to see the same high-grade blog posts by you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own blog now πŸ˜‰


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