[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Comment for Comment – A FAULTY SYSTEM

When you follow a blog, what expectations do you have?

🌸 You’ll get a regular supply of awesome content and make friends with the amazing blogger behind it

OR

🌸 Yay! More people to comment on my posts! 

If the former, more power to you! But if you think the latter, then you aren’t the only ones making this awful, awful mistake.

The story starts two years back – when I was still very new to book blogging and everything was like a shiny toy. I was very helpful, friendly, and true of heart. (Not that I am not these things now..🤣)

My sole purpose used to be sharing my writing and making friends in the community. I used to enjoy talking with them about my interests, loved reading about their own – it was the golden era of my blog. 

Of course the problem started when I started trying to copy the famous blogger’s writing style in the hopes of gaining more followers because THEIR content matter seemed to get more famous than mine. But that’s a different story.

Little by little, I started to replace those pure feelings of joy in reading others’ content with an intense desire to get more and more comments. And towards that goal, I’d try to find and follow AS MANY BLOGS AS I COULD. I didn’t wait to think whether I REALLY liked their content, whether it was my kind of tea or notI just wanted to make them feel appreciated so that THEY WOULD MAKE ME FEEL APPRECIATED AS WELL. (I wish I had only focused on the ”making THEM feel appreciated” part! 😦

Such an awful, awful trend isn’t it?

And although I have come out of it now – because within the first few months of doing so, it started becoming WAYY TOO EXHAUSTING and so I shifted my attention back to following and reading content I actually love – it’s still very prevalent among other bloggers.

And I kinda hate that, not gonna lie.

Really?
Are you just going to comment on mine if I comment on yours?
Does that arrangement seem uplifting to you?
How is it helping though?

Really, HOW will you EVER know if your writing is ACTUALLY worth reading? By the number of comments? Oh, but they comment on yours because you comment on theirs. *shrugs* NOW what you have to say for yourself, huh?

The fault in this system is that:

🌸  It encourages too much selfishness which is neither good for you, nor for the others.

🌸  It comes in the way of making friends and the overall fun of reading a blog, because all the time, you are just think about YOURS, not REALLY appreciating THEIRS, do you see?

Hey, don’t get me wrong – blog hopping and supporting new bloggers is really important but the intention behind it shouldn’t be selfish. And I am not talking about you turning into an absolute saint here! 🤣 No, no, don’t do THAT. You have a responsibility to grow your blog as well. And doing some things SOLELY for that reason is COMPLETELY FINE. I do it too.

But when you start commenting on other blogs only because you expect them to comment on yours, it’s a disservice to their content, to be honest. 

Support and show them love without any expectatons. Try doing it – just for a month – review the blogs you’ve followed and actually give thought to their writing. Do you REALLY love it? Or was your follow just a bait – for them to visit your blog and follow you as well? 

Give this a serious thought and try an unconditional approach for a while.

It will be beneficial for both you and them in countless waysthe most important being the friendship that’ll form out of your love for their content. And out of that will come everything that you want as well – yes, yes, the comments and the follows (ugh, look at YOU! No change! 🤣) 

Give love because you feel like giving it, not because you expect they’ll love you back as well and see your world shift – towards a happier and more meaningful blogging experience. 

Because this“I’ll comment on yours only if you’ll comment on mine.”  – is a very mean practice. And one day, you’re going to get tired of it. I know. I did too. And THAT day you’ll realize who your ACTUAL FOLLOWERS ARE.

You’ll stop chasing those bribed comments soon enough. You’ll realize the importance of actual readership, of REAL followers who won’t leave you NO MATTER WHAT. 😉

49 thoughts on “[A BLOGGER’S LIFE] Comment for Comment – A FAULTY SYSTEM

    1. Thank you so very much, Lisa! 😇 To be honest, I wasn’t sure how this one will be received but I just had to share my thoughts on this you know! 🤷🏻‍♀️

      THANK YOU SO MUCHH AND I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT! 😍❤️😇🌻

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I tend to be an irregular commenter for most blogs I follow – just doing it when I actually have something to say. There are a few bloggers that I comment on most posts just because I always have something to say, and I do consider them blogger friends. It is exhausting, like you said, to try to do that all the time with everybody and if you do it to try and up your numbers, you will find it a thankless endeavor. Great post! Well said! ❤️🥰❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s the way to do it, Tessa! With blogger friends – even if you don’t have something to say about the post, you can always tease them! 🤣 But doing a comment for comment just because you want more followers is just…I don’t know. 🤷🏻‍♀️

      Thank you soo muchh! I am glad you liked it! ❤️🦋

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I only comment if I actually have something to say 🤷‍♀️ Sure it’s fun if people reciprocate but commenting for the sake of commenting cos you hope to get a few comments on your own posts is just silly. Likewise, I prefer people to comment on my posts ONLY when they have something to tell me, not because they think they have to because I commented on theirs. I try to be supportive for as many people as I can but I’m just one person and I get tired 😂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. EXACTLY! I mean I always go and check the blogs of new commentators on my post but that’s only because I want to return the love. I don’t spam someone else’s posts – especially those that I don’t love or aren’t my cup of tea – JUST BECAUSE I WANT THEM TO COMMENT ON MINE. That is, as you say, very silly. 🤷🏻‍♀️

      Awww! Of course – you are one BUT an awesome person. And very supportive too. 🤗❤️😇🌻

      Like

  3. Comment for comment really is exhausting. Like you, I’ve curated my list to content I love and I concentrate on that content and the folks that produce it. It’s possible to make friends in the blogging community but not everyone wants to put in the work of actually getting to know people–that takes time! Thanks for this post, these kinds of things about blogging—I wish more people would talk about them. Also–so glad to see you back! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have started doing the same recently. No point in following blogs you aren’t going to visit, just for the sake of THEM following YOU back as well. Don’t like it.

      And yes! Some people want to engage in conversations just to increase their number of comments and followers – and let’s be honest, that’s not a good foundation to build friendships on! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

      Aww! I AM SOOO GLAD YOU LIKED IT! 😍😍 You are too kind. Thank you soo much for being you! ❤️🦋

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, exactly! I agree with all of that. What’s the point of just leaving a random comment, that’s not really engaging and it’s a waste of time for everyone as well. ❤

        Like

  4. Honestly, I’m so happy you’re back. I think it’s very easy to get into the mindset of comment for commend and follow for follow, as you’ve said, we all want our platform to grow and o better. But it get’s tiring having to do things just for a follow back or a comment. When you comment on a blog becuase you genually enjoy the content it shows, it’s not the same as writing a mindless comment for the sake of it or for “selfish” reasons.
    In the end, you are doing others and yourself a disservice because your heart isn’t on the comment and that’s so easy to see for everyone.

    Great discussion! 💜💜💜

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It does! IT DOES! As I said, I did it in the beginning and IT WAS THE MOST TIRING EXPERIENCE – the energy I could spend on writing quality posts was now getting wasted on pursuing useless agendas! And when I stopped and started writing comments on posts I actually loved, that built some really good friendships! 😍❤️

      Thank you sooo muchh for your thoughtful comment, Leyre! I am so very glad you liked the post. ❤️😇

      Liked by 1 person

  5. So true! And I still see it in “advice for new bloggers,” posts and I just want to comment there and be like nope don’t listen to that one the only real effect it has is to burn you out and upset you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. EXACTLY! I mean, sure – go out there and discover new blogs – but follow then because you love their content, admire their effort – not to increase your followers. Because that never works in the long run!

      Loved your comment! ❤️🦋

      Like

  6. First, it makes me SO happy that you’re back, I missed you! ❤️✨🌻 & Second, I LOVE this discussion, I feel it when you say that at first you was trying to copy other voices, I think everyone during this journey has done it, but then you realize that there’s nothing more magical and that it feels as good as finding your own voice, right? that’s super valuable. 😍
    I love the discussion and I love how honest you are about it. 100% agreed with your thoughts ✨✨✨❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I MISSED YOU TOO AND IT REALLY IS SO GREAT TO BE BACK!! 😍😍❤️

      Thank you soo much, Sofii! I always try to make my discussions as honest as possible because that’s the only thing I have! At first, I was a bit embarrassed to share the fact that I got stuck in this Follow for Follow system as well in the beginning of my blogging journey. But I felt I needed to share my experience so that people are better able to relate, you know.

      And it makes me SO SO HAPPY that you liked the post – and the message it conveys! ❤️🌻 I LOVE YOU FOR THAT! 🦋

      Thank you sooo much for your awesome comment and for always being soo sweet and supportive! 🦋🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Another great post Rain – And your blog is one of my favourites and has been since I discovered it 😀

    I comment a lot, mainly because I enjoy leaving a wee comment and I do try and return comments on my blog – but that is more because I enjoy interacting with people that take the time to engage with me – does that make sense!?!?
    I also do follow back and follow a lot of blogs, but when I have an hour to sit and blog hop I can be selective on what content catches my attention – I love a review!

    I blogged years ago and then had a seven-year gap or so 😀 So I came into it having learned some of the harsher lessons already. I blog because it’s fun, but I try and not get caught up in numbers and competition – sometimes easier said than done.

    As I said, a great blog post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwww! REALLYYY?! Thank you so very much Jules! Thats soo sweet of youu! 😭❤️

      Me too. I love to visit new blogs as well but not for selfish reasons! I like to engage in meaningful interactions with other bloggers too. So OF COURSE IT MAKES SENSE!! ❤️ And I agree COMPLETELY with you on this.

      Whoa! Seven years gap is a long one, Jules! You gotta write a post about it because we can definitely learn a lot from your experiences and the lessons you learnt along the way.❤️

      Thank you soo very much once again! YOU ARE THE BEST!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Sameee! I mean, I used to do that when I started blogging and would get exhausted visiting blogs and commenting on them because they almost never replied! That was a frustrating experience!

      You gotta do a purge, Nicki! As Lashaan says! 🤣

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Hahhaahahhahahahaha aint nobody got time for that xD yet I tried anywayyyhuu *finger guns*
    It’s kind of a new-blogger thing when you’re AlL into it then you get all lazy and then oops there went time to blog hop lol
    Fantastically written post btw!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HAHAHA! SAMEEEE! As you relax into the whole blogging thing, the numbers start to seem insignificant. The only real value then is in the content and your awesome blogger friendsss, LIKE YOUUU, Beck! 😘❤️🦋

      Thank you so muchhh! I am very glad that you liked the post. 😍❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Excellent post with an excellent message! Some people just do it for the wrong reason and it’s sad that they continue to feed these selfish desires, sometimes knowingly. I do personally have a bit of a comment for comment system (something I’ll probably discuss about in a post someday) but it’s mostly to return the love that I unexpectedly got from the person. I also have it incorporated in my system because of time. I only read EVERYTHING from a blogger when I KNOW that we’re good friends and I can’t do that with EVERYONE because I have so many other things to do too. If blogging was the only thing I did though, I’d probably put more time in reading and appreciating everyone’s posts though hahaha

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so very much Lashaan! 🦋 The intention behind it changes everything! And hey, I have that too. I mean, just like you, I visit the blogs of new commenters on my post as well. But, like you said, that’s only to show my appreciation – nothing else! Not because I an fishing for more follows! And I think that should be the basic intention behind blog-hopping. 🤷🏻‍♀️

      AND YESS! For blogger friends, I’d read things that I don’t even understand because – well, WHY THE FUCK NOT?! 😉🤣🤣

      Thank you sooo much for your thoughtful comment, Lashaan! I an glad you liked the post! 😇🦋

      Liked by 1 person

  10. A great post and an important subject!

    I guess, everyone tries this approach at some point in blogging — probably out of feeling underappreciated — but it usually leads you nowhere. All the comments you write and receive in return are super generic and you’re not forming any meaningful connections or developing your writing in any way.

    Yes, it’s important to know how to network as well but that should never be the sole purpose of your blog and your blogging life. It should be finding the content you enjoy and producing the content you’re proud of.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG YESS!!! I too have gotten comments that are just – MEH! Not related to my posts like AT ALL!!! way tooo general. And that always pisses me far more than getting no feedback at all because that’s just fake appreciation and I AM NOT FOR THAT AT ALLL!!! *shrugs*

      I am so glad you liked the post, E! I had actually written about it before I went on hiatus so it was high time this topic saw some light! xD

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I think there has to be a fine balance between commenting in reciprocation and supporting other blogs versus commenting because it’s a blog you love…but then again I love all the blogs I follow. 🤷🏼‍♀️😊 They’re all unique in some way. I just do whatever feels right to me on any given day. I think maybe because I’m not here to improve my writing?? I’m not seeking to become a different type of writer. I’m just here to talk about books and book related chat & discussion because lol do I have opinions I like to share 😂😂😂 But if someone does comment a lot on my blog I do make a particular effort to seek theirs out. But I find I just talk so much at people that those that comment on and follow my blog all feel like friends so commenting back isn’t purely perfunctory for me. It’s part of a larger conversation we are having over months of discussing books. And I genuinely feel like I know all of the people who regularly comment on my blog. And if a new blogger comments I will make that special effort to seek out their blog in return to see if their blog is one I’m interested in 😊😊🧡💖💜

    Like

  12. yes, i love all the points you bring up in this post! i think as new bloggers we’re all looking to grow, so we comment on blogs in hopes that they will follow / comment back. i definitely fell prey to that idea too! but i’ve realized now that it’s just so much better to go into blog hopping and commenting with the attitude that you want to show appreciation for the blogger ❤ love this discussion!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. YESS!! TOTALLYY AGREE WITH YOUUU, Mayy!! When I did that, I burnt myself out in less than a month. Blog Hopping with such an intention is never a rewarding experience. But doing it to spread love and discover new blogs? THAT’S THE WAYYY!!! 😉

      I am so glad you liked the post, May! ❤ ❤ Thank you sooo much for always leaving such thoughtful comments! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Great post. I’m glad you’ve come to the conclusion you have as early in your blogging life as you have.

    Follow those you are genuinely interested in, and let the chips fall as they may. I know when I follow someone I don’t expect them to like, comment or follow back. Because as you noted, that way lies madness 😀

    I have also found that limiting the number of people you follow allows for a greater depth of interaction. That number obviously changes from person to person, but for me, it is under 50. More than that and I simply can’t keep track of who is who or who is doing what…

    Like

    1. YESS!!! I mean no point in forcefully consuming content you don’t like. There is absolutely no positive side to it. And the earlier we learn it the better!

      I like your approach, although I follow a lot more than 50 bloggers! xD Still, it is as you said – follow for follow? THAT WAY DOES LIE MADNESS! xD

      I am so very glad that you liked the post, Bookstooge! Thank youu! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I LOVE THIS POST. Honestly, idk if I’d because of all the amazing people I met in my path, I just knew that it was always about giving and showing love. Appreciating whatever you receive but never giving with the intention of receiving♥️ I love this post. Also why am I not getting notifications when your posts go up? 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    1. EXACTLYYY!! Yes. You have summed it up perfectly, Ahana! It’s just not worth spending all that time and energy JUST FOR THE SAME OF A FOLLOW. But to make genuine friends and discover awesome new blogs? YESSSSS!! YESSSS!! YESSSSS!!

      Thank you soo sooo muchhh! Ahhh! YOU ARE ALWAYS SOO SWEET THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU! 😍🦋🌻

      What? Really? Could be that you have followed my blog via email and not on wp? 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ♥️♥️♥️ it’s how we met and the relationship is so deep and not just some weird duty bound thing. ♥️ it’s genuine and appreciative and love filled. ♥️♥️♥️♥️

        I think my app is a little buggy. :/

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Awwww!! YESSS! It is pure friendship😍😍❤️ and I WOULD NOT TRADE IT WITH ANYTHING IN THE WORLD! Love youuuuuuu!! 😘❤️❤️

        Oh? I think there is some issue with mine as well because I am not getting all of the comment notifications! 🤷🏻‍♀️

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Such an amazing post! ❤️ It really is a bad mind-set to comment or follow people expecting the same in return. It just leads to disappointment! That way also doesn’t bring the real connections, rather just the numbers.
    I comment on posts when I have something to say, as I don’t like leaving those very generic comments that don’t really relate to the post. Though that does sometimes lead me with feeling guilty for not commenting. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It really does! And I AGREEE WITH YOU Anna! Approaching blogging with such a mindset keeps you deprived of all the connections, all the good friends you could have made along the way!!

      HAHA! Me tooo!! Like if I read a post and feel like I am like…out of any ideas to say anything – I probably just say something…like…”my mind is too dumb to process this post” or something like that! 🤣🤣🤣🤷🏻‍♀️

      Liked by 1 person

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