[MY BOOKISH OBSESSIONS] How-To: Be an Accomplished Woman// A Step-by-Step Guide by Caroline Bingley//

Did you know that there are less than a dozen women out there that can TRULY be called accomplished?

Miss Caroline Bingley of Netherfield gravely remarks, in an interview with The Derbyshire News, on this declining number of the truly genius among her own sex.

”It’s most distressing. Just another I was telling Mr. Darcy (you know THE OWNER OF Pemberley! An EXCELLENT MAN) that something NEEDS to be done urgently if we are to fix this problem. But the fault lies with the population of Longbourn, to be honest. ESPECIALLY THE BENNET LADIES. Their distaste in fashion and yet the conceited self importance they hold themselves in is the main issue here.’

And in addition to such remarkable comments on the rapidly decreasing genius of women, Miss Bingley has also agreed to share with us some pointers to help the ordinary women be THE MOST ACCOMPLISHED VERSION OF HERSELF!

Let’s have a look, shall we?

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SNOBBERY

The first step, it seems, to being a most accomplished woman is possessing the ability to despise everything and everyone you ever come in contact with. Unless of course, it’s Mr. Darcy of Pemberley. THEN you may go ahead and praise the fuck out of everything the gentleman does.

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But for every other human being, you must be the epitome of unpleasantness.

You MUST look hideously displeased with everything around you. You see the REALLY accomplished women NEVER show their pleasant sides to ANYONE. They go through the world discontentedly and are never happy with meeting new people, certainly not the ones who can pose a threat to their plan of bagging the…the…yeah the Pemberley guy.

So ladies, if you want to be known as an accomplished woman, you better be prepared for a LOTTTT of frown lines, you understand?

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”SOMETHING IN HER AIR”

(whatever THAT means!)

This is something Caroline Bingley ABSOLUTELY INSISTS UPON. But she is a bit vague about what kind of ”air” an accomplished woman is supposed to have and that has got me wondering. Well, let’s hear it from Miss. Bingley, shall we?

Got a clearer idea now?

What Miss Uptighty-pants is trying to tell us here is that an ACCOMPLISHED woman must make herself memorable to everyone and this she can easily achieve by being a rigid, stinkin’ mess.

So get rid of those perfumes girls because it’s time to let your inner unpleasantness shine through. πŸ˜‰

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HOME-WRECKER

Listen to me VERY carefully now:

A TRULY ACCOMPLISHED WOMAN never let’s such things as her brother’s happiness get in the way of her own convenience. Whenever she sees a threat to her own hopes and dreams, she starts thinking ways to eliminate it.

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And we see this method in effect when realizing that her brother is a great deal too attached to the eldest Miss Bennet and getting a glimpse of her potential future – FULL OF Mrs. bennet’s frequent visits at Netherfield – she persuades Mr. Bingley to move and makes him believe that it’s for his own good.

So you see the level of manipulation going on here? And if you want to be at Caroline’s level, you’ve got to learn this art as well.

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THE GOSSIP-GIRL

Apart from having a thorough knowledge of singing, drawing, dancing, and modern languages, a well-accomplished woman must also be well adept in the art of gossiping.

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Because when tragedy strikes and you are made aware of the fact that your ALMOST future-husband is falling for someone else, it’s the sly remarks about those ‘fine eyes” that will make the man uncomfortable enough to drop the topic altogether.

You and (preferably) your older sister MUST belittle everyone around you. THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET NOTICED BY THE PEMBERLEY MAN!

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As you can see, Miss. Caroline Bingley clearly knows what she’s about.
And she isn’t afraid to admit it.
You too can achieve that level of conceit!

All you have to do is follow the above-mentioned steps and you’ll be good to go!

(PS: I couldn’t find any suitable gifs so I made these as well. I hope you liked them.<3 )

23 thoughts on “[MY BOOKISH OBSESSIONS] How-To: Be an Accomplished Woman// A Step-by-Step Guide by Caroline Bingley//

  1. Ah yes the absolute PERFECT form of an accomplished woman, to aspire to her mastery of manipulation and gossip is truly an admirable goal :’) :’) :’)

    Another GOLDEN post RAIN!! SOOO FUNNY AND A GREAT READ I love these guides they always brighten up my day!!! ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

    The GIFS were PERFECT ❀

    Truly she really got on my nerves in the book :') but perhaps all I needed was her guidance xD lol.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahahaha…YESSSSS!! NO WOMAN CAN TRULY BE CALLED ACCOMPLISHED UNLESS SHE POSSESSES THE MEAN ART OF gossiping! DUH πŸ™„ 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

      AWWWWWW THAT’S THE SWEEETEST THING EVER OH MY GOD THANK YOU SOO SOOO MUCHHHH, Kat! You are such an angel! πŸ˜‡

      YESSSS!! That’s all you needed! 🀣🀣🀣😍❀️❀️❀️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. πŸ’œπŸ’œGossipping is the absolute highest of all the art forms🀣🀣 πŸ’œπŸ’œ

        Awwhh you ARE VERY WELCOME IT IS A WONDERFUL POST!! SO FUNNY!! πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

        Heheh IT IS!! πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ’œπŸ’œ

        Like

    1. Awwwww!! THANK YOU SOO SOOOO MUCHHH, Nikita! πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜ It makes me SOOO HAPPPYY that you liked it enough to even consider saving it for later?!? 😭😭 Yeah excuse me while I go cry a river! 😭😭😭πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯Ί THANK YOU SOO MUCHHH! I am soo glad you liked it! ❀️❀️❀️❀️😘😘😘

      Like

  2. omjg Miss Uptighty Pants has fabulous advice I will take every single word seriously omjg this changed my life.

    I LOVE THESE POSTS SO MUCH. (unless this is exclusively pride and prejudice, would you do an Umbridge one? “How to Rule your School” or something? Just a suggestion) BUT THESE ARE SO GOOOOOOD

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahhaha!! I AM SOOOO GLAD Caroline Bingley’s golden words could help! πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‰β€οΈ

      ACTUALLYYY I have been thinking about reading Harry Potter next month and will be doing these posts on it as well! πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ¦‹

      Liked by 1 person

    1. ISN’T IT?! 🀣🀣 The mere mention of Caroline Bingley was enough to send all the words in my mind in a frenzy, TRYING TO DRAFT A POST Miss Bingley herself would have been proud of! πŸ˜‰πŸ€£πŸ€£β€οΈ

      AWWWWWWWWWWW I LOVEEEE YOUUUU AND JANE AUSTEN TOOO!! πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈπŸ¦‹πŸ’•πŸ˜‡πŸŒŸπŸ‘»πŸ§πŸ’ŽπŸ₯°πŸ§œβ€β™€οΈ

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha! INDEED! ME TOO! πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

      Awww thank you SOO SOOOO MUCHHHHHH, Sophie! I am sooo glad you liked it! πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ˜‡πŸ¦‹

      Hahah…CAPITALS ARE ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA πŸ’‘ πŸ˜‰πŸ˜β€οΈπŸ˜‡πŸ’•β˜”οΈπŸŒŸπŸ’ŽπŸ¦‹

      Liked by 1 person

    1. AWWWWWWW IT’S SOO SWEEET OF YOU TO SAY THAT, Macey! πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ Thank you SOO SOO MUCHHH! I am soo glad you like them! πŸ˜β€οΈπŸ§œβ€β™€οΈ

      YAYYYYYY!! I AM SOO GLAD YOU LIKED THE GIFS AS WELLLL!! 😍😍😍❀️❀️❀️❀️

      Thank you soo much again for your wonderful, wonderful comment! β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ¦‹

      Liked by 1 person

  3. GAAAAAHHHH you are so accomplished Rain πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ» Loving your P&P fest going on here, hahaha characters like these are always the best because they make you love the protagonist all the more for putting up with them. 😍😍😍😍😍 I know I wouldn’t have been able to maintain my propriety. πŸ˜‰πŸ˜…πŸ™ˆ

    Like

  4. Another fantastic post ❀️ it was a pleasure to read and your GIFs are wonderful too. The character it’s about sounds horrible… Is it bad that it kind of makes me even more interested in the book?πŸ™ˆ

    Like

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