[MY BOOKISH OBSESSIONS] How-To: Unburden Your House// Mrs. Bennet’s Guide to Marrying off 3/5 of Your Daughters in Less Than a Year//

”She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper. When she was discontented she fancied herself nervous. The business of her life was to get her daughters married; its solace was visiting and news.

This is the very first account that we get of Mrs. Bennet’s character. She is a typical mother of little or no knowledge of important affairsย with only her beauty to recommend her. Not that that’s a little achievement!

Mr. Bennet himself was swept off his feet by her ”fair share of beauty”, enough for him to make her an offer of marriage.

giphy-11So, now you see Mrs. Bennet is very adept in the arts of matchmaking, of inducing feelings of love in the hearts of another – both for herself and for her daughters. So skilled is she that she is able to marry off 3 out of 5 of her daughters in less than a year! AND ONE OF THEM AT FIFTEEN TOO!

I M A G I N Eย  ย T H A T!

So, you see there is NO ONE BETTER to give you pointers on how to find eligible partners for your daughters than our very own excitable Mrs. Bennet.

So, ladies, take notes because it’s about to get pretty educational here!

laurels+flowers_0007_Vector Smart Object

THEM FLUTTERING NERVES!

giphy-10
When your husband refuses to visit a single man of a large fortune, who is CLEARLY in want of a wife by the way, for the sake of your daughters, WHAT DO YOU DO?

๐ŸŒธYou quietly accept defeat.
๐ŸŒธYou start to devise other ways to get acquainted with the man.
๐ŸŒธYou try to convince your husband in a polite, orderly fashion.

Did you choose any of the above-stated options?

If yes then your daughters will forever remain alone.ย Mrs. Bennet actually has another tactic that works like a charm EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

You see, you have got to behave erraticallyshouting all day, blaming your poor nerves, taunting your husband indirectly – SOO MUCH THAT HE HAS NO OTHER OPTION BUT TO YIELD TO YOUR WISHES. Got it? Now practice timeee!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

laurels+flowers_0007_Vector Smart Object

BOAST YOUR HEART OUT!

When you have a most beautiful daughterso pretty that men fall head over heels in love with her wherever she goeswhy the FUCK would you keep her hidden?ย 

You have been given a wonderful opportunity to make everyone feel ashamed of themselves.ย WHY NOT TAKE IT?

WHY TALK SENSIBLY WHEN YOU CAN BEHAVE IRRATIONALLY INSTEAD?

giphy-8
giphy-9
So when your daughter’s future love interest praises one of her friends, you do not let the opportunity pass by.ย 
Make it plain as the nose on Mr. Bingley’s face that THERE IS NO ONE BETTER OR MORE HANDSOME IN THE WHOLE OF ENGLAND THAN YOUR DEAR, SWEET Jane, ALRIGHTTT????!!!

laurels+flowers_0007_Vector Smart ObjectPLAY THE WITCH๐Ÿ”ฎ

Apart from loving your children partially, manipulating them, and spoiling them, a good mother must also possess the art of witchcraft like the ability to control the weather.

And Mrs. Bennet, being the perfect mother that she is, is 13764850985% skilled in this department. And a good thing too because when her dear Jane received an invitation from Miss Bingley to dine at Netherfield, her brain started churning out terabytes per second, thinking of ways to make Jane’s visit to her future husband’s house as long as possible.

AND THIS IS WHERE HER WITCHY SKILLS CAME IN HANDY!

She sent her daughter on a horseback instead of a carriage because SHE WAS SUREE that it would rain later and then Jane would HAVE to stay there. AND SHE WAS RIGHT!

giphy-12

But HOW WAS SHE SO SURE ABOUT HER PLAN?
*whispers* Because she is secretly a very powerful witch!ย 

laurels+flowers_0007_Vector Smart ObjectSPOIL ‘EM YOUNG

You are a (proud?) mother of five daughters. All day, every day only a single thought plagues your mind –

MARRIAGE. MARRIAGE. MARRIIAAGGEEEE!!!!

giphy-13
And since you cannot POSSIBLY be as attentive to ALL of their prospects, sometimes you just gotta let them choose for themselves. Raise your daughters, PREFERABLY THE YOUNGEST ONE,ย as headstrong and foolish enough so that ALL THEY CAN THINK ABOUT IS MEN.

With this kind of golden thinking, you can be sure of a *fairly* well-settled, married daughter at the ridiculously young age of fifteen with little effort from your side.

SMOOTH, RIGHT???!

laurels+flowers_0007_Vector Smart Object

DON’T GIVE THE SECOND ONE ANY THOUGHT!

Mrs. Bennet is a very intuitive woman.
AND VERY PROUD ONE.

When she saw that her second (and least favorite) daughter, Elizabeth, didn’t want her expert advice on ANYTHING let alone on marital affairs, she had the good sense to withdraw her services and leave Lizzie to her own devices.

giphy-14

She is too proud to beg for her to consider her opinions. And rightly so because when Lizzie saw that she wasn’t going to get any help from her family, she was forced to be independent in her affairs and THAT LED TO HER BAGGING THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WHOLE OF DERBYSHIRE!!!

*SCREEEAAAMMSSSS*

laurels+flowers_0007_Vector Smart Object

Isn’t she THE CLEVEREST WOMAN TO EVER WALK THE FICTIONAL EARTH??!!!!!ย 

Sooo…do you agree with Mrs. Bennet’s advice, then? I think she is pretty good at this matchmaking stuff (not better than Emma though *wink-wink*) RIGHTTT?!!!

And WHAT DID YOU THINK OF ALLL THE GIFS?!?!!
I MADE THEM!

I MADE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEMM!!! AREN’T THEY SOOO VERRYYY VERYY PRETTYY!!??? *heart eyes* *dies*

34 thoughts on “[MY BOOKISH OBSESSIONS] How-To: Unburden Your House// Mrs. Bennet’s Guide to Marrying off 3/5 of Your Daughters in Less Than a Year//

  1. Okay so fist of PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL GIFS – EVERY ONE IS SO PERFECT!!

    Secondly- another absolute GOLDEN post RAIN – SO FUNNY AND PERFECT!!

    Maybe I should enlist Mrs Bennet’s help she is clearly the best choice, the goddess of matchmaking :’) :’) ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ โค โค

    Lowkey she is DEFINITELY a witch – Totally agree โค โค โค ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ :') :')

    AMAZING POST RAIN 100000000% Perfect!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. OH MY GOD THANK YOU SOOO MUCHH!! ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ I spent HOURS making them so you can imagine how happy your comment has made me! ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

      AWWWW!! THANK YOUUUUU, kat! I AM SOO GLAD YOU LIKED IT, hon! ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

      Hahhaa!! Yep, that she definitely is! ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰

      ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ

      Liked by 1 person

      1. โค๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅฐโญ๐ŸŒŸโœจ you’re welcome they are beautiful! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’œโค๐Ÿ’–

        hehe DEFINITELY DID- I ALWAYS DOOO HUN! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’–โค

        ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‰ I know right ! ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

        Liked by 1 person

      2. YAYYYYYYY!!!๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž

        Liked by 1 person

    1. AWWWW!!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ YAYYY!! AND YOUR COMMENT HAS MADE MY WHOLE DAY, Allisa! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ THANK YOU SO SOO VERYY MUCHH!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwww!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ THANK YOU SOO MUCH, Lisa, for all these compliments. You are way too kind! ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธ I AM SOO GLAD YOU LIKED THE POST, AND THE GIFS TOO!! Ahhhh!! Thank you thank youuuuuu!! โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ

      Liked by 1 person

    1. AWWWWWW!! YAYYYYY!! I am
      glad you liked it, Nikita! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ‘‘

      Liked by 1 person

  2. THE GIFS ARE WHAT I DID NOT KNOW I NEEDED IN MY LIFE BUT OH MY GOD I AM HERE FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I don’t know how you do it Rain but I am deceased… DECEASED AGAIN AT YOUR HAND…… I love Mrs Bennet so much. Honestly brilliant….. and omg better at Emma at matchmaking…. KILLED ME AGAIN YOU HAVE XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD <333333333333333

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AWWWWWW!! YOUR COMMENT HAS MADE MY DAY 152926112%%%๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ I AM SO SO SOOO VERYYY GALD YOU LIKED THE GIFS HON! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ BECAUSE I LOVE THEM TOOO!! ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

      Hahahahhaaa!! Oh nooo! Dont die yet! ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ THERE IS MORE TO COME! ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž

      THANK YOUUUUU EMER!! ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ YOUR COMMENTS ARE THE BESTESTT!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. R A I N, this was hilarious and so damn creative ๐Ÿ˜‚!! I canโ€™t believe you made the gifsโ€”but it also seems like something youโ€™re completely capable of doing with your wicked mind hahaha.

    This post made me think of how alike Mrs. Bennet is to my Indian dad LOL. Heโ€™ll work some wizardry and set me up with โ€œa nice boyโ€ if I let him. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) Iโ€™m more of an Elizabeth ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜‚.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AWWWW!! YAYYYYY!! I am sooo glad you liked the gifs, Belle! ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

      Oh youuu!! STAHHPPP!! *hides* ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ YOUR COMMENTS ARE LITERALLY THE BESTTT THING EVERR!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ‘‘

      Hahhahaha!! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ Well….THATS A GRWTA THING THAT YOU ARE MORE OF AN Elizabeth then! ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ DONT YOU LET ANYONE DECIDE WHO TO MARRY! Find your own Pemberley owner! ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃโค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwww! I AM GLAD I COULD MAKE YOU LAUGH, Sarah! โค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ AND IT ISS, isnt it?! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜THANK YOU SOOO MUCHHHH!! ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž

      Liked by 1 person

    1. AWWWW!! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH, Ford! ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ YOU ARE THE SWEETESTT!! Ahhhhh!! ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’• And mee too! SHE IS ANNOYING BUT I mean….she has 5 daughters so…obviously she reacts the way she does but yeah she could dial down the crazy a little bit! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐ŸŒŸ

      Liked by 1 person

  4. HAHAHA OMG I love this one so much!!! ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ You’ve summed her up so well!!!! She’s such an entertaining character though and one of my ultimate favs ๐Ÿ˜› Your posts are always so entertaining and the gifs… such a riot! Awesome post Rain! ๐Ÿ˜€ Jen

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AWWWWW!! YAYYYY!! THANK YOU SOOO SOOO MUCHHHH, Jen! ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ I AM SOO SOOO GLAD YOU LIKED IT AND THE GIFS TOO!! YAYYYY!! I AM SOOO EXCITEDD!! Thank you soo muchhh!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ž

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahhahaha!! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธโค๏ธ I am glad I could make you laugh, Macey! โค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’• AND YESSS!! SHE IS DEFINITELY NOTHING TO EMMA! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ Thank you SOOO VERYY MUCH FOR YOUR AWESOMEEE COMMENT!! Made my dayyyy!! โค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•

      Liked by 1 person

    1. OH YAYYY!! I am sooo glad you liked itt!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ And yess!! OH MY GOD MEE TOOO!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ Just imagining her trying to adjust her perception of Darcy IS GETTING ME EXCITED! Not that sheโ€™d have ANY trouble shifting her heart IN A FUCKING INSTANT! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

      Like

    1. AWWWWWW!!! YAYYYYY!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ I AM SOOO GLAD YOU LIKE THIS!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜โค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ

      Liked by 1 person

    1. AWWW!! oh my god thank you soo muchh! YESSSS SINCE ITS A SUPER LENGTHY PROCESS, it makes me soooo happy that all that work paid off!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธ To be honest, I only made then because there just werenโ€™t enough relatable gifs about Mrs Bennet WHICH IS SUCH A SHAME!๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‰

      I am soo glad that you like these guides Lashaan! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ This month is definitely turning out to be a fun one for my blog because I ENJOY MAKING THESE POSTS SOO MUCHH! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ The reading is suffering though….but i canโ€™t pretend to be too bothered about it! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s