[A READER’S LIFE] Beware the SLUMP //Treating a READER’S most-feared disease//

Reading. Reading some more. More reading.
Reading is fun.
Reading is life.
Reading is DOPE. (do people still use that word. though?)

READING ALSO BECOMES A PAIN IN THE ASS SOMETIMES! 

Don’t get me wrong. There is NOTHING I love more than waking up to a box full books just arrived from Amazon but
BUT
BUTTTT…

What to do when you JUST CANNOT MAKE IT WORK?

Well, I have successfully overcome this. Sure it took me a LOOONGGG time but hey, what matters is that I DID IT! And so I am PERFECTLY qualified to share my amazing tips with you as well.

So let’s get to it then!

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TOO FUNNY TO NOT USE!!!! XDXDXDXDXD

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Acknowledge the problem.

Not wanting to read is a disease.
And before you can start treating it, you need to open your eyes to the fact that it is there! And it ain’t going anywhere on its own. So, you NEED to make sure that you KNOW that you are in a slump. Only then can you make other plans. Oftentimes, we just take think that if we do nothing, it will pass. Or that it’s just boredom.
NO! NO! NOOO!!!! Don’t make that mistake.

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Yeah, I am going GIF crazy! SUE ME!!!

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Assess the level of seriousness.

You stare at that long-forgotten book in your shelf.
It stares at you.
Stare-stare, EVERYWHERE.

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You pick it out with trembling hands, closed eyes, and a hopeful heart. You open it. You read the first word. You don’t like it. You read the next line. NOPE. SOMEHOW, you make it to the next page, YOU WANNA PUKE! You just don’t feel FEEEL like it.

THIS IS Stage 1.

And it’s alright. This is not THAT serious and it can be cured with a little tweak. ❤

NOW..

That gorgeous little hardback just came out. You went to the bookstore. You bought the little beast. You came back home feeling giddy and excited. You start reading it. And BOOM! You find out that nuh-uh..not happening gorrrllll! Your mind just REFUSES to cooperate.

This is Stage 2.
And THIS is SERIOUS.

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THE CURE

It’s actually possible to die of this illness. Books are your one true love. And you crave their touch. You WANT them. You want them more than Gatsby wanted Daisy. More than Heathcliff wanted Cathy.

And if you don’t get a piece of that fine paperback ass, you WILL die, I CAN GUARANTEE YOU!

So, to make sure that THAT doesn’t happen, let’s do some troubleshooting to find which remedy will work best for you.

For readers suffering from STAGE-1 SLUMP:

As I said, it’s NOT that serious, okay? I mean, yeah it sucks that

YOU, the reader of great novels, the record holder finisher of even the shittiest books,

CANNOT make it through that ONE book!
But it’s easily curable. You just need to do one simple thing.

Go to the crime-scene, pick out your favorite book.

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THE ONE YOU STILL DREAM ABOUT. THE CHARACTERS YOU STILL WANT TO BANG WITH ALL YOUR HEART. Pick out THAT one. And that’s it. That’s all you need!

 

For readers suffering from STAGE-2 SLUMP:

I know I am not supposed to judge you or anything but I would really like to shame you all the way to King’s Landing!

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HOW? HOW COULD YOU HAVE LET IT GO THIS FAR? 

Anyway, I have a duty to give you the cure. And I will serve it faithfully.
So for you, I recommend going for something petite. Do you like reading short stories? Yes?
FANTASTIC.
No?
Well, too bad you are gonna HAVE TO!
Hey, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. I am THE goose. You, sirs and madams, are the gander. I didn’t like to read short stories that much either. I prefer BIG NOVELS. THE BIGGER THE BETTER!
But when I realized that I was one stage away to being terminally ill, I HAD to take drastic measures. I decided to give “Birthday Girl” a go.

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It was only 50 pages. I was not expecting to like it but I ended up loving it. I ended up drooling over it. I found the prettiest looking short story book EVER and I read the fuck out of it. The result? I went on to read two more random stories that very day and around midnight, I started reading Us Against You, a breathtaking novel by Frederick Backman. So, I know from my own personal that it works!

So my Stage 2 patients, for forth and try it!

 

For readers suffering from STAGE-3 SLUMP:

Yep. There exists another one.
I didn’t tell you before because then the ones that are terminally ill wouldn’t have read this and I am sorry but I wanted YOUR attention as well.
So these are those patients who cannot seem to enjoy EVEN their first great bookish love.

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Yeah, THAT happens sometimes.
This disease advances at a phenomenal rate and if you don’t stop it in its tracks, it gets to the point where no matter how many times you pick up that copy of Pride and Prejudice, The Hobbit, or even Harry Potter, you just cannot seem to stay with it.

You, unfortunately, should start getting your affairs in order. You don’t have much time left. 😦 😦  I don’t know any cures for STAGE-3, I am sorry guys.

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RIP!

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Reading Slump is a bad disease. But not an incurable one. (EXCEPT STAGE 3) but MAYBE, there is a cure for the terminally ill as well?
Do you know any remedies?
What do you do to get out of this god-awful period?
Let me and the others know.
THEY NEED YOUR HELP!

 

30 thoughts on “[A READER’S LIFE] Beware the SLUMP //Treating a READER’S most-feared disease//

  1. Lol. I’ve been there.

    Prevention is the best defense. I find it helps if you switch up genres a lot.

    And also, it’s ok to take a break sometimes. Binge that TV show, do some cross stitch, play a video game, or even–and hear me out here because I know it’s extreme–go…OUTSIDE. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s totally free and kind of enjoyable to just open the door and walk around. Just walk around.

    There are other people out there, just walking around. Most of them aren’t even going anywhere. It’s crazy.

    Do that for a few days and then you’ll feel better going back to books. Just be sure to wear appropriate protective gear, because it turns out the weather is quietly murderous most of the time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah…I mean, reading only a single genre all the time becomes a suck fest pretty quickly. Like this one time, a few years back, I was totally obsessed with MANGAS! I would read them all day, EVERYDAY! It was new. It was fun. It was quick. But after a while, it got to the point that I couldn’t even close my eyes without seeing those crazy big-eyes EVERYWHERE! I honestly feared I wont be able to imagine normally EVER AGAIN! A bit extreme but from then on, I stopped reading them. Total boycott.

      And about going out..I totally agree on that one as well. Whoever said that reading has to be a holed-up-in-a-Rat-hole activity? I go out and read in the nearby park ALL THE TIME. During the evenings. And it also gives you new and better ideas. So yeah, we should go out more and stop blaming reading for making us un-social.

      Thanks for your comment, really. I mean, whenever I come across a blog where the writing is as genius as yours, I just…I don’t know, I cannot even comprehend that they would like mine in any way.. so yeah, thanks! 😊❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahaha- this post cracked me up! Other possible remedies:

    Reread an old favorite.
    Try something different than your usual.
    Read the first chapter of all the books til something sticks.

    I usually hit a terrible reading slump around the holidays, and the beginning of this year was especially bad. I ended up employing all these methods until something stuck again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hhahah..Thanks a lot, Sarah! I am glad you liked it!

      THATS A NEW ONE! Reading the first chapter of different books. Definitely gonna try it next time.

      AND SO TRUE ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS! Something about the air all around that makes me lazy around Christmas…But for that time, I have found that re-reading Harry Potter almost ALWAYS works! All that innocence and magic and awe in the first few books gets me going again! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel slightly deprived now because I’ve never had blood slump. I’m the complete opposite, I kind of have prader Willie for books. I devour them and can’t/ won’t stop. Thank heavens for my kindle because I used to pack less clothes for vacations so I had room for books! I read when I wake up, I read on my lunch break I can’t go to sleep without reading myself tired. I’m like a twenty a day smoker but with books. Even in the middle of a migraine I will resent that I feel too awful to read.
    A bit of slump would probably do me the world of good!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The way you feel about books is the way I feel about running! I absolutely hate myself when I cannot go out, either because of the weather, or guests or whatever. But HEY! DONT FEEL DEPRIVED! Believe me that you are one of the lucky ones! It’s THE WORST! You don’t feel like reading ANYTHING! And I have found that it usually happens with me when I have started binging on TV shows instead. Our mind is so fucking lazy and with books it has to work waaayyyy more so as soon as it gets an easier way out, ITS GOES ALL NUTS! 🤣🤣
      Really though….seems like you read a lot! I AM SO GLAD! Now I can boast off about knowing someone who has never had to go through this problem! 😎😎🤣

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Ahah this is such a fun post, even though reading slumps are the wooooooort ah. I agree about picking up your favorite book, this is such a great remedy for sure and always reminds me of why I love reading so much. When it comes to stage 3 though, I really feel like the best thing to do is just to… well, do other things and watch shows and write and watch movies and just, hope that it will come back. Reading about books, reading book blogs and such somehow always makes me feel like going back to reading, too 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah! Whenever I find myself too loath to read, I just pick up The Hobbit..or Pride and Prejudice. Or sometimes I even watch the adaptation and strangely, it makes me wanna go back and read all those great pets that weren’t included in the movie! 🤣🤣 And the Urban Vyass also suggested writing to get out of the slump and that’s such a creative way!
      Thank you soo much for stopping by Marie. Your comments are always the sweetest! 😍😍❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

    1. 🤣🤣🤣 Thank you so much! I am glad you liked it. Yep, I am a bit crazy sometimes, aren’t I? 🤣🤣🤣❤️❤️

      It works! Really does! And might I suggest Birthday Girl by Hurukami? …It’s more than I could ever have imagined it could be, you know..❤️❤️

      THANKS YOUU FOR YOUR SWEET COMMENT! ❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I laughed so much while I read this post! This is just what I needed as I often feel myself being dragged down the reading slump path without knowing how to handle it. I love how you split it up in stages and I agree that sometimes it’s so bad that it takes a lot out of you to go back to reading. Amazing, funny and witty post, Rain!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahah!! I am glad I could make you laugh, Darina! THATS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD – MAKING PEOPLE SMILE! 😍😍😘❤️

      Reading Slumps are the worst and my worst one lasted more than 3 months and when I came back to reading again, it was like…WHAT THE FUCK IS READING? WHAT ARE BOOKS? WHAT ARE WORDS? I DONT KNOW ANYTHINGG!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

      So yeah, taking precautions and measures in the early stages is the best thing to do here!!

      THANK YOU SOO SOO MUCH FOR READINGG!😍😍❤️❤️❤️

      Like

    1. Hahahha!! THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!! 😍😍❤️❤️❤️ I am sooo glad I was able to make you laugh! 😊😊❤️❤️ And I am sooo thankful for you for tweeting about my post! ❤️❤️

      Ps – I fucking loooveee your username!!! 🤣🤣🤣👻👻

      Liked by 1 person

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